What
Makes You Happy
Isabel
“Donna?"
I ask as I step out of my office to find Josh's assistant standing near a file
cabinet, ostensibly the only other person around. "What are you doing
here?"
"I'm just . . . nothing," she murmurs, looking at her hands.
"I'm just thinking."
"About what? You really should go home." It was well past eleven on a
July night, and Josh hadn't returned to work yet. "Josh isn't here to boss
you around," I joked.
"No, he's not," she says sadly.
"Donna, you sure you're okay?"
"No," she admits.
"Come in to my office and talk to me," I urge. "You'll feel
better."
"Thanks," she whispers, walking into my office and sitting down. I
close the door and sit in my chair.
"What's going on?"
"It's just that this place feels like a ghost town. It feels like nobody
except Toby has any energy, and he's using it to become an anti-gun fanatic.
Meanwhile, I'm dealing with guilt -"
"Guilt?"
"Josh wanted me to come to Rosslyn. I nearly went, too. I would have been
walking next to him. Maybe he wouldn't have been shot."
"Donna, you can't think like that. Besides, Josh is okay."
"He's not okay," she says vehemently, tears filling her eyes.
"All he can talk about is theoretical physics and Mets baseball. He won't
talk about politics, or the Staffers, or anything else he usually does. And I
just feel so angry with those skinheads. It's scary how much rage I have right
now."
"That's normal, Donna," I assure her. "Josh is my best friend; I
had nightmares about him dying for weeks."
"Me, too," she admits, her voice barely above a whisper.
As she looks up at me with a wistful smile on her face, I'm struck by
something: Donna is beautiful. Strikingly beautiful, actually.
"What?" she asks when she catches me staring at her.
"You're just . . . I never realized how beautiful you are." Once
again, I have mastered the art of speaking without thinking.
Donna's mouth drops open. "Sam?"
"Okay, see, that came out differently from how I wanted it to."
"How did you want it to come out?"
"Well, I didn't want it to come out."
"Sam, I should go," she says, standing up. "Thanks for listening
to me."
"Donna, I'm sorry."
"It's no big deal," she says with a nervous smile. "Really. I'll
see you tomorrow." She leaves my office and walks out of the bullpen.
I drop my head down. Okay, that didn't go very well. First of all, where did
that thought come from? I never thought of Donna as anything more than a
friend. Second of all, she has enough to think about tonight without my lovesick
ramblings. Third of all, she's not interested in me . . . is she?
I have difficulty sleeping that night. Did I have a 'thing' for Donna Moss?
When did this happen? How? And what the Hell do I say to her tomorrow?
Donna is beautiful; that was undeniable. Hell, I'm a straight guy, am I
supposed to ignore her good looks? She's funny, deceptively intelligent, and a
good person. Okay, I have a little bit of a thing for Donna. Now what do I do?
Pine in secret? Tell her how I feel?
That's a big risk if she doesn't feel the same way. On the other hand, I
frankly haven't had a lot of chances for a good relationship in a while. Not
since Lisa. Laurie is gone, graduated, and impossible for me to date. Mallory
is combative and pissed at me because of Laurie.
So maybe I should give this a shot. If she turns me down, I don't work with her
all the time, so it won't be so bad. Besides, the greatest risk is not taking
one.
Okay, so last night Sam Seaborn said he thought I'm beautiful. I can deal with
that. I can deal with the fact that the first guy to say something like that to
me in a long time is a ridiculously nice, smart, gorgeous man. I can deal with
the fact that there was nothing behind the statement. I can deal with the fact
that he'll probably avoid me for a while.
Sure, I had noticed Sam before. I mean, face it, he's prettier than I am. And
those eyes! Plus, he is the most sincerely nice guy in Washington.
Of course, he graduated from Princeton and Duke, I didn't graduate from
anywhere. He is Deputy Communications Director, I'm Josh's assistant. He dates
law students like Laurie and teachers like Mallory, not me.
I can deal with the fact that nothing will come out of a statement that made my
heart skip a few beats.
"Donna?" I look up and see Cathy approaching me. Great, just as I
stop thinking about Sam, his assistant appears. "Sam wants to talk to you
when you have a minute. I have no clue what it's about."
"That's okay, I do. Thanks, Cathy."
"Sure thing."
"Tell him I'll be by in about fifteen minutes."
"Will do. Bye."
"Bye."
Fifteen minutes later, my heart pounding in my chest, I walk into the
Communications bullpen to find Toby and Sam bickering about something.
"Donna," Toby calls. "Donna, you need to let me go see Josh. And
if you try to say no I will unleash a spiel of Yiddish words that will make you
kvetch."
"Okay, go. But if you're not back in an hour, I'll put a hex on you."
"Are you kidding?" he asks in a slightly nervous voice.
"I'm well-versed in the occult, Toby. Go, see Josh. Be back soon." I
turn to Sam. "You wanted to see me?"
"Yeah, you have a minute?"
I nod and step into his office, sitting down and trying to still my shaking
hands. This is not a big deal. Not at all.
Sam shuts the door and sits down across from me taking his glasses off and
smiling at me. Okay, how am I not supposed to melt when he gives me that smile?
"What's up, Sam?" Good, I can be levelheaded.
"Last night . . . I'm sorry if I threw you off guard. You came in to talk
about how you felt, and I said something that was completely out of line."
"It's okay," I lie.
"Donna, I was wondering something."
"Yes?"
"Would you go on a date with me?"
My heart leaps. Sam wants a date with me? What freaky alternate universe have I
entered? Sam Seaborn just asked me on a date. I should probably answer him.
"I'd love to, Sam."
"Yeah?" he asks hopefully.
"Yes," I say with a smile. "I'm free tonight."
"Me, too," he says in a gleeful voice. "Want to get some
dinner?" I nod. "I'll make some reservations for seven?" he asks.
"Sounds great," I say with a smile. "I should get going now.
I'll see you later."
I walk back out into the bullpen and Cathy gives me a knowing smile. Standing
up, she walks alongside me back to Josh's office. "He asked you out."
"What? How do you know? I thought you said you had no idea what he wanted
to talk to me about."
"I didn't. But he asked me a few minutes ago if you were seeing anyone,
and you had that smile on your face when you came out."
"Cathy . . ."
"My lips are sealed, Donna. Just don't expect me to date Josh."
"I wouldn't wish that on anyone," I deadpan, sitting at my desk.
"I'll see you soon, Donna."
"Bye, Cathy."
She said yes! She said yes! That was ten hours ago.
Now, it's six-thirty at night, and we have reservations at a good sushi bar at
seven.
Now there are a few things I have to think about here. Like the fact that Josh
tends to be a possessive, monopolizing boss, and I'm not sure how he would feel
about his assistant and his best friend dating. Or the fact that, technically,
Donna and I are coworkers, and Leo might not be wild about this idea.
Well, it's just one date. Josh and Leo don't need to know about this one date.
If it turns into more, they'll know, but for now, it's just one date. I really
hope it doesn't stop at one date, though.
I look up from my stack of papers as Cathy knocks on my door.
"Sam?"
"Hmm?"
"Donna wanted me to let you know that she's ready whenever you are."
"Okay." I smile and grab my coat, preparing to leave, when I'm
stopped as Cathy corners me.
"Sam, I know you are afraid of me, and rightfully so."
"Yes," I admit.
"Well, believe me, if you hurt Donna in any way, I will make you regret
it. Do you understand?"
"Yes," I say meekly.
She smiles. "Okay. Well, have a good time."
Sometimes she really does scare me.
I find Donna rooting around in her desk drawers. "Looking for
something?" I ask, smiling as she jumps a few inches in the air.
"Sam!" she pouts, smacking my shoulder. "That wasn't very nice.
I was looking for a disk Josh needs me to copy tomorrow. I found it," she
says triumphantly.
"Good. You ready to go to dinner?"
"Yeah, where are we eating?"
"A sushi bar not too far from here."
"I've never had sushi," she says nervously. "They don't have a
lot of it in Wisconsin."
"Well if you don't want to go -"
"No, no I want to go, but I'm just warning you that I will probably look
clueless when we're eating."
"Don't worry about it," I laugh.
"I was thinking . . . Josh doesn't need to know about this yet,
right?"
"Agreed."
"It's just a first date."
"I was thinking the exact same thing a few minutes ago."
"It's just that Josh can be . . ."
"Difficult?"
"Yeah."
"Don't worry about it, Donna. In time though - I mean, if we get that far,
then we should, you know -"
"Sam?" She has the nicest smile, I notice.
"Yes?"
"You're rambling."
"You're right. Let's go to dinner."
***
"This is really octopus?" I ask incredulously, poking at the sushi
with a chopstick. "As in the eight-tentacled sea creature?"
"Yes," Sam laughs. "If you don't want it, I'll have yours."
"No, I'm fearless," I assure him, dousing the sushi liberally with
soy sauce and scarfing it up. "Chewy," I mumble as I get accustomed
to the fact that I'm eating octopus. "Not bad," I decree.
"Chewy, but good."
We're sitting at the bar, watching as they make order after order of fresh
sushi.
"You know, when we went to L.A.," Sam says, taking a sip of his beer,
"we went to this restaurant in Santa Monica that made the guacamole right
in front of us."
"I think I had drive-thru from Jack-in-the-Box that day."
"You didn't miss anything in terms of company. It was Al Kiefer, who's
godawful. We were talking about flag-burning."
"Sounds like fun." I finish my last cucumber roll and sit back in my
chair.
"Check, please," Sam tells our waiter. "You were at the
fundraiser that night, right?"
"Yes. It was pretty surreal. This whole thing is still pretty surreal, you
know working in the White House? I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it."
Sam takes the check and pulls out his wallet. "My treat," he says
firmly as I open my mouth to object. "I asked you on this date, I should
pay."
"I'll pay next time," I promise.
He smiles and my heart is forgetting to beat. "So, there's going to be a
next time?"
"I'd like there to be," I say honestly.
"So would I."
I grin. "Well, then you can pay tonight."
"Okay." He places some cash on the bar and we walk out of the
restaurant. As we near our cars, Sam takes my hand. "Donna?"
"Yes?" I turn to face him.
"I had a wonderful time tonight. This was just . . . I feel like I can be
myself around you, and I really like that."
"I'm glad." I realize we have stepped closer to each other and our
faces are nearly touching.
"So I guess this means we're dating."
"Yeah. You know I didn't think you would ever be interested in me, but I
guess I was wrong, and -"
Sam silences me by kissing me softly, his arms encircling my waist. There are
no words to describe my surprise and happiness. Thankfully, I'm not the
speechwriter in this relationship.
"Goodnight," he says softly as he pulls away from me.
"Goodnight, Sam."
I climb into my car and drive home, floating on air. I'm dating Sam Seaborn.