QUOTES
school hard
willow:"She was already smoking in fifth grade. Once I was lookout
for her."
xander:"You're bad to the bone."
willow:"I'm a rebel."
"Oh, please! If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion
was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock. . . . I was actually
at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I
spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move."
-Spike
Spike: You've really got a yen to hurt this girl, haven't you?
Angelus: She made me feel like a human being. That's not the kind of
thing you just forgive.
Spike: Now, I know you haven't been in the game for a while, mate, but
we still do kill people.
Buffy: Okay. You do remember that you're a vampire, right?
Spike: We like to talk big. Vampires do. 'I'm going to destroy the world.'
That's just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over
a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You've got... dog
racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people
walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But
then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction.
Angel could pull it off. Goodbye, Piccadilly. Farewell, Leicester Bloody
Square. You know what I'm saying?
Buffy: Okay, fine. You're not down with Angel. Why would you ever come
to me?
.
Becoming
Angelus: I wanna torture you. I used to love it, and it's been a long
time. I mean, the last time I tortured somebody, they didn't even have
chainsaws.
Angelus: Just tell me what I need to know.
Giles: In order... to be worthy...
Angelus: Yeah?
Giles: You must perform the ritual... in a tutu. Pillock!
Angelus: All right. Someone get the chainsaw.
Giles: Xander?
Xander: Can you walk?
Giles: You're not real.
Xander: Sure, I'm real.
Giles: It's a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want.
Xander: Then why would they make you see me?
Giles: You're right. Let's go.
Angel: What's happening?
Buffy: Shh. Don't worry about it. I love you.
Angel: I love you.
Buffy: Close your eyes.
lovers walk
Spike: She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head
or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little
sign that she cared?
Spike: I used to bring her rats. With the morning paper.
Buffy: Great. More moping. That's gonna get her back.
Spike: The spell's gonna get her back.
Angel: Lot of trouble for somebody who doesn't even care about you.
Spike: Shut your gob!
Angel: She really is just kind of fickle.
Spike: What do you know? It's your fault, the both of you! She belongs
with me. I'm nothing without her.
Buffy: That I'll have to agree with. You're pathetic, you know that?
You're not even a loser anymore, you're a shell of a loser.
Spike: Yeah. You're one to talk.
Buffy: Meaning?
Spike: The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the
death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other like nothing
happened. Makes me want to heave.
Buffy: I don't know what you're talking about.
Spike: Oh, yeah. You're just friends.
Angel: That's right.
Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love
till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate
each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love
isn't brains, children, it's blood...blood screaming inside you to work
its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit
it.
Spike: I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded
about this. Weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back,
I've just gotta be the man I was, the man she loved. I'm gonna do what
I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her, wherever she is, tie
her up, torture her until she likes me again.
Inititive
Spike: I don't understand. This sort of thing's never happened to me
before.
Willow: Maybe you were nervous.
Spike: I felt all right when I started. Let's try again.
(He tries, but he can't do it.)
Spike: Damn it!
Willow: Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire?
Spike: Not to me, it doesn't!
Willow: It's me, isn't it?
Spike: What are you talking about?
Willow: Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. You didn't want
to bite me, I just happened to be around.
Spike: Piffle.
Willow: I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth
into. It's always like, 'Oh, you're like a sister to me,' or, 'Oh, you're
such a good friend.'
Spike: Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.
Willow: Really?
Spike: Thought about it.
Willow: When?
Spike: Remember last year? You had on that fuzzy pink number with the
lilac underneath. (Gives her a sexy look.)
Willow: I never would have guessed. You played the bloodlust kinda cool.
Spike: Mmmm. I hate being obvious. Being all fangy and 'Rrrr.' Takes
the mystery out.
Willow: But if you could...
Spike: If I could, yeah.
Willow: You know, this doesn't make you any less terrifying.
Spike: Don't patronize me! (Paces around the room.) I'm only a hundred
and twenty-six!
Willow: You're being too hard on yourself. Why don't we wait a half
an hour and try again?
Angel: Spike.
Joyce: Oh, my God. Get out of here!
Spike: Yeah. You're not invited.
Joyce: He's crazy. He'll kill us.
Spike: Not while I breathe. Well, actually, I don't breathe.
Angel: Joyce, listen to me.
Joyce: You get out of this house, or I will stake you myself.
Spike: You're a very bad man.
Angel: Joyce, you can't trust him. Invite me in. You touch her, and
I'll cut your head off!
Spike: Yeah? You and what army?
Buffy: That would be me. Angel, why don't you come on in?
Spike: Hey!
Giles: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we know that you're...
Buffy: Flaccid?
Spike: You are one step away, missy!
Buffy: Giles help! He's gonna scold me!
Buffy: Look at my poor neck — all bare, and tender, and exposed.
All that blood, just pumping away.
Spike: Giles, make her stop!
Giles (to Willow): If those two don't kill each other, I might lend
a hand.
Buffy: It's just so sudden, I don't know what to say.
Spike: Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth.
Buffy: Oh, Spike, of course it's yes!
Giles: Are you helping me?
Spike: Well, it's almost like you're my father-in-law, isn't it?
Buffy: Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now, do you want
to be 'William the Bloody' or just 'Spike,' because either way it's
gonna look majorly weird.
Spike: Whereas the name 'Buffy' gives it that touch of classic elegance.
Buffy: What's wrong with 'Buffy'?
Giles: Ah, such a good question.
Buffy: Spike, I just saw you taste your own nose blood. You know what?
I'm too grossed out to hear anything you have to say. Go home.
Spike: It's blood. It's what I do!
Spike: I will know your blood, Slayer. I will make your neck my chalice...
and drink deep. (turns around and falls into an open grave) Ow!
Harmony: Is it safe? Has Buffy gotten to you yet? I saw her patrolling
just now... with a stake! She won't give up until she's killed me to
death.
Spike: Buffy's looking for you?
Harmony: Of course. That's why I'm on the lam. Didn't you hear? I'm
totally her arch-nemesis.
Spike: Is that right? I must've missed the memo.
Harmony: There was a mem— Spike, oh my God, this is like a real
emergency!
Spike: (as Harmony lights up a cigarette) Taking up smoking, are you?
Harmony: I am a villain, Spike. Hello!
Spike: OK. Is it bigger than a breadbox?
Harmony: No. Four left.
Spike: So it's smaller than a breadbox.
Harmony: Heh heh! No, only three.
Spike: Harmony... is it a sodding breadbox?
Harmony: Yes! Oh, my God. Someone's blondy bear is a Twenty Questions
genius!
