Mission:
Well, the day after milord Ublaz gave me the mission I went down to the harbour to get the ship ready. It was plain sailing up to the island, apart from bumping into a bunch of seals, but we soon sent them packing. We anchored the ship out in the bay and took the longboat to the shore, then landed and pulled the boat past the high water mark.

Right away we began to look for supplies. There was plenty of fruit, but the real jackpot came at about midday. “Sir,” cried a lanky ferret as he ran up to me “Sir there’s a whole family o’ dormice round yon ‘ill. They mus’ be oarslaves or summat, an’ they gots loads o’ vittles. Do y’ wanna take a look. All scared they are.” “Show me.” I said, and we went to take a look.

The ferret showed me into a large cave. There must of been about a score of the dormice, all huddled up together, crying away. “Shut that noise, or I’ll shut it with me blade,” I said, unsheathing my rapier. There was instant silence. “Good. Now where’s the vittles?” A large-ish dormouse pointed to a small alcove in the left-paw wall. “You’ll see there’s not much.” he whispered. I strode over, and tried to take what looked like a slice of moldy cheese. Immediately there was a grating sound and the whole wall swung inwards, revealing a colossal store of all sorts of foods, all preserved in some way. There was everything from nuts to jams, fish to cheeses. “Wow,” said the lanky ferret “There’s some vittles!”

I turned to the dormice. “All right, where’d y’ get ‘em?” The large-ish dormouse spoke again. “P-please sir, we made them.” “Made ‘em?” “My family has been living here for generations, ever since a searat ship dropped four weak, starving oarslaves on to yonder beach. We live off what we can find growing on the isle, and we fish in the sea. Please don’t hurt us, we are creatures of peace.” “Oh-ho no matey, we just wanna invite you to dinner at milord Ublaz’s palace. His majesty is rather partial to a roast dormouse!” The little ones all began to wail.

Now this got me really annoyed. “Right, that’s it! You lot, get over there. The rest of you, stay put.” The dormice got up, 10 of them going to stand by the right-paw wall, the other 10 staying put. The babes were still crying, however, so I was not lenient. “You lot,” I shouted at the dormice by the wall “Are gonna be slaves to milord Ublaz. An’ cut out that whimpering! You,” I said to the dormice in front of me “Are gonna grace his lordship’s table. As the main course!”

Immediately two weasels and a fox ran forward, swinging clubs. The dormice were killed instantly. “Put ‘em in some o’ those spare barrels,” I said “An’ lets get back ta Sampetra, sharpish!”

We made the new slaves roll the barrels of food on board the longboat. It took us six trips to get all the food onto the ship. They must’ve been storing that food for decades! So here you are sire, as much food as Sampetra could ever want and ten more slaves into the bargain!