Meeting Maggie - Part 5 - Next Four Days in Changsha
Tues., May 25, 1999 - The families with babies from YueYang left early in the morning to go there and complete their paperwork. They were gone for almost two days and our guide was with them, so we were on our own until they returned. We spent the entire day in the hotel. We might have been more adventurous if it weren't for the fact that we were traveling a week or so after the embassy bombing and still weren't sure how we would be received. Our guide wanted us to be cautious. Our trip was without incident, however, except for one time when an old Chinese man yelled at one of the men in our group.
In the morning we had some visitors. Two of my friends from Dallas had spent two weeks volunteering at the Changsha orphanage, which was just a few blocks from our hotel. This had been arranged through an organization called "International China Concern" (ICC). They had asked me to bring a donation for the Changsha orphanage. Their contact at the orphanage, Gertrude, and another man from ICC, came by the room to get the donation and then talked to us about the work they were doing with the special needs children at the orphanage. We had a nice chat and hoped to visit the "Oasis House" (one of their projects) before we left.
I tried to follow the schedule that was described to me in the note from the orphanage. Maggie was supposed to wake up between 7:00 - 8:00, eat at 8:00, nap around 9:00 - 10:00, eat at 11:00, nap around 1:00-2:00, eat dinner at 5:00, have bottle of milk and rice cereal at 9:00 and then go to sleep. The first three meals were supposed to be congee with a little pork. Maggie only napped for about an hour at a time. After another late afternoon meltdown, I decided that she might be crying because she was tired, so I added another nap. This was effective in eliminating the afternoon fussiness. I was never able to get her to take a bottle in the evening. I gave Maggie a bath in the sink before bed and she was not too thrilled with that. But, as time went on, she began to enjoy her bath. I put some lotion on her after her bath and discovered that rubbing her feet with lotion would put her to sleep!
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There was a play room on the top floor of the hotel designated for adoptive parents and their children. We met two of the other families up there. It was nice to go there and talk with the other parents while we were playing with our children. There weren't a lot of toys, but there was a nice view of the city. I heard Maggie's first laugh when we were playing ball there. Maggie was very good with her hands from the start. She always wanted to be holding or touching something. She could sit up but tipped over once in awhile. She could also stand up a long time if I held her, but didn't seem to know that she could move her feet to walk. She did not like being on her tummy. She rolled over a couple times, but other than that, had no idea how to move from one position or place to another. By the time we left Changsha, she could roll from place to place and would step when I held her in a standing position.
Wed., May 26, 1999 - Maggie got to try some new foods. The advice from our agency was to keep the babies on the foods they were used to. I agree with this, but it was too tempting to try new things (in moderation). She ate a little egg custard from the breakfast buffet, had her usual pork congee for lunch, and then later, while we at lunch, drank some wonton soup broth and gummed some bread. She really enjoyed these. When she was happy she would nod her head "yes" which made me laugh! Maggie seemed to be capable of finger feeding, but she refused to do it. When she was holding the bread I tried to guide her hand to her mouth, but she would push it away.
We finally ventured from the hotel to go to the grocery store across the street. (The one with the pink elephant in front.) I put Maggie in the Baby Bjorn carrier in the front facing position. She seemed to enjoy this as she wanted to be able to see what was going on. Many baby supplies, including formula, bottles, nipples, bibs, diapers, etc. can be found in this store. Most of the baby supplies were made by Ivory. I bought a bottle, some nipples, sippy cups, and some apple juice for Maggie. She would drink the apple juice from the bottle and nipple as well as from the sippy cup that I bought at the store. Some of the the nipples were defective (didn't have holes in them), so it is best to examine them closely before purchasing.
I got stopped a couple of times by old Chinese ladies wondering about the baby. I had a card with me that explained that I had adopted her, etc., in Chinese. One lady gave me "thumbs up" and then tried to tell me something in Chinese while patting my shoulder. I wish I could have understood what she was saying! I think maybe she was trying to tell me that I should carry Maggie facing me with her head on my shoulder.
Maggie began to show signs of having a cold. She coughed so much after dinner that she spit up on the bedspread. I folded up the bedspread and put it in the corner, as it was quite stinky. The next day the cleaning staff put it back on the bed when they made up the room. When I discovered this, I flagged down one of the hotel staff and tried to explain, using gestures, that the bedspread needed cleaning. I will leave it to your imagination how I got this message across. It was pretty funny! I must add that the service at this hotel was fabulous. I am sure that they did not realized that the bedspread was stinky. The hotel rooms were always very clean.
I noticed that Maggie would sometimes reach out for me when Cecilia is holding her. She was starting to realize that I was her mama! (Note: Throughout the trip, I insisted on doing most of the baby care, feeding, comforting, getting up in the night etc. because I wanted to be sure that Maggie knew that I was her mama. I think this is a good strategy for any parent who travels with someone else who is not also the child's parent.)
Thurs., May 27, 1999 - The other four families returned from YueYang the previous evening. In the morning, we took pictures of all the babies sitting on the couch. It was hysterical! Then we took a group picture of all the families and their babies.
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Next, Daphne took us on a tour. We went to the Changsha Museum to see the 2100 year old mummy and then to an art gallery store to buy souvenirs. The museum tour was very good, but I had trouble paying attention, as Maggie was pretty fussy. (She was missing her morning nap.) By the time we got to the mummy, she had fallen asleep. I bought a couple of small embroidered pictures the art gallery store, as Changsha is famous for embroidery.
In the afternoon, Daphne took us to the department store. Maggie was napping, so I left her with Cecilia and went by myself. It felt weird not having Maggie with me, but it was easier to shop without her there. We mainly stayed on the floor that has baby clothes and toys. It was amazing how much western stuff they had. I only found a few toys that seemed to be Chinese. The clothes seemed to be either American (Disney, etc.) or French. I bought one outfit and a few toys. The numerous sales clerks were everywhere, encouraging and helping. They did not speak English so we had to gesture in order to communicate. The process of purchasing something is a bit unusual. Once I had selected an item, the clerk took the item and wrote out a ticket. When I had finished shopping on that floor, I took the tickets to the cashier and paid for the items. (The cashier used an abacus to figure the amount!) She gave me a receipt and then I had to go back an get the items.
I enjoyed the bus rides on our excursions. Observing the street life was fascinating. We also had a view of a main road from our hotel room window. The sound of honking horns was constant. Although the roads have lines just like ours do, but people do not necessarily pay attention to them. There are also bicycle lanes and numerous bikes, large trikes (used for hauling things), and motor scooters. I saw a duck riding on the back of one scooter. As I observed the street life, a wave of sadness sometimes came over me when I thought of taking Maggie away from there.
Fri., May 28, 1999 - We did more sight seeing in the morning. We went out into the country to see a Taoist temple, a park, and the Yuelu academy where Mao went to school and later worked. At the academy, we watched a performance of ancient Chinese music. This was a very pleasant trip with beautiful scenery.
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We then ate lunch at the Lotus Restaurant. Daphne ordered for us and the food was served family style on a lazy Susan. The food was very good and not very spicy. Some type of soup was ordered for the babies. The waitresses made a huge fuss over the babies! They kept picking up babies and walking around the restaurant with them. It was heart warming to see the love that the Chinese people have for their babies. The waitresses in the hotel were also very friendly and liked to hold the babies.
Daphne arranged for us to have a group "birthday party" for the babies that night in the hall outside the elevators on our floor. She put a big sheet on the floor for the babies to play on and had balloons for them to play with. She had also ordered a big cake with very interesting candles. She first lit a big candle in the middle, then eight candles popped out (one for each baby). Then it started playing the "Happy Birthday" song. We all sang "Happy Birthday" to the babies. We also gave Daphne her gifts during this time. This was a special event that I will remember fondly.
We were to leave Changsha around noon the next day, so I began to pack up all our stuff that evening. I felt very sad about leaving the place where I met my daughter and began to get to know her. This was certainly the most significant week of my entire life and I had developed a special fondness for this place, our guide, and the people in my travel group who had shared this amazing experience with me.