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"Haiku"

[Two cats] [One cat]

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CAT HAIKU

A sneeze! God bless me! I must have sniffed a cat hair up my little nose.	I found a great place! I think I'll stay here all day. They'll never find me.
I need amusement, so I'll sit on the keyboard just to annoy you.	I'm such a smart cat. When I think I'm in trouble, I purr and look cute.
I'm feeling sleepy, and I want to take a nap. Where is my sunbeam?	Just for the record, I can cop an attitude that you won't forget.
THIS purring lap cat will turn around and bite you. No reason needed.	Looks like a squirrel, but you say it's a chipmunk. May I please have it?
I've lost enough weight! I can walk the windowsill without falling off.	A thundering sound! It's just me letting off steam. The midnight crazies.
My back arched softly, I'm rubbing against your legs, saying, "I love you!"	Listen for chirping when I rub up against you. It means you thrill me!
Don't ever forget! I will never knead people I don't really need!	My vertical tail is a sign of affection when I approach you.
To reassure you, I rest a paw on your arm. A gesture of love.	If I drool on you, I hope you're not offended 'cause I'm quite happy!
I bump against you and wrap my tail around you to say, "I love you."	Sometimes when I lick after you've petted my fur, I'm "tasting" your scent.
Nose against my own, I love those kitty kisses. Mommy loves them, too.	I'm not really scared. I puff my tail big and fat just to show I can.
The bells and whistles happen every time I sit on Mommy's keyboard.	I know I ate some, but I ate it yesterday. This is a new day!
I look at the food, stretch my neck out and smell it. But I don't wantTHAT.	I'm sure I've told you who's the master of this house. Don't forget again!
I tried to catch it. A bird on the window ledge. My butt hit the floor!	We've all got to run! Closet monster's on the loose. Vacuum cleaners suck!
I've got a claw caught. Seems I can't get myself loose. Someone help ME-OWT!	Hard to turn the page? You just shouldn't be reading where I want to sit.
I rub against you, anointing you with my scent. YOU belong to ME!	What are you eating? I might want some of it, too. How can you eatTHAT?!?
Mom gave me a pill. I'll go into the bedroom and spit it right out!	I'm glad you've come home. Now you can feed me dinner. I'll love you later.
MeoNo! A cat!! Outside in the flower pot eating MY catnip!	Big hairy spider has my Mommy squealing loud! Just eat the darn thing!
When I'm stalking prey in my world of "cat-believe", the toy mouse is real.	Dad brought in a tree and put it in the big room just to confuse us!
I flatten real small when I see one of the birds, but my eyes get BIG!	I don't caress you. I caress myself on you just to please myself.
I can always find the most inconvenient spot. Just walk around me.	When I share your bed, I would rather sleep on you than lay beside you.

The CATS BEHIND it all!

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CAT HAIKU