Captain Anorak's
Guide to Gaming
The Bestiary
Electric Piranha Bees
Electric Piranha Bees look like a cross between piranha fish and bees. Each
is approximately 2-3 inches long with a furry black and yellow striped abdomen
and upper thorax, with the wings of a bee. The head and underbelly of a fish
grow from the front and underside of this.
Attacks: Electric Piranha Bees have extremely long extensible tongues
which can fire out like projectiles at great speed, extending to lengths of up
to seven feet. A Piranha Bee's tongue is tipped with a natural electrode, which
lodges in its victim's flesh and discharges a paralysing electric shock. One such
shock would only be a trifling annoyance to a human-sized creature, but the
accumulated shocks of an attacking swarm can bring the most powerful warrior to
his knees.
After stinging with the tongue-electrodes from a distance, Piranha Bees move in
for the kill, latching on with their razor-sharp teeth and sucking out the blood
on which they feed.
Numbers encountered: Electric Piranha Bees are swarm creatures. A
typical swarm consists of 300-1000 individuals. To feed, they mass around a target,
paralyse with their electric stings, and then smother the immobilised victim with
a myriad of tiny bites over all the exposed blood vessels. Once they are gorged
with blood they fly off, leaving only a pale and bloodless corpse behind.
Large Breasted Leather Thong Girly Demons
Large Breasted Leather Thong Girly Demons look like 18 year old
lasses with large shapely breasts, powerful muscular thighs, ridiculously
thin waists, long sharp black fingernails, whips, and extremely small
black leather bikinis. As monsters
go they are nothing special - they have moderate combat abilities and
little in the way of treasure - but the pictures of them go a
long way toward selling Monster Manuals. They usually get a full page
colour plate all of their own (preferably by Boris Vallejo) and are a
good choice to put on the front cover of the book.
Large Breasted Leather Thong Girly Demons originate from a strange
world consisting entirely of communal showers. For this reason they
are always wet and soapy when they arrive through their dimensional
portal.
Attacks:
Whipping: Large Breasted Leather Thong Girly Demons are experts
with the whip. A whip blow does little damage but helps add 'flavour' or
'excitement' to a game. Male players will find this one of the most
memorable encounters of the campaign.
Scratch your eyes out: When too close to use whips, Large
Breasted Leather Thong Girly Demons fight like girls, scratching with
their fingernails.
Towel flicking: As everyone knows, girls are useless at towel
flicking, so this attack has no effect on male adventurers. Used on female
characters, a successful attack elicits a squeal of pleasure, and the
target is immobilised for a round giggling and pouting. On a fumble,
a Large Breasted Leather Thong Girly Demon's towel flicking attack hits
another Large Breasted Leather Thong Girly Demon, with the results
described above.
Numbers encountered: There should be at least three Large
Breasted Leather Thong Girly Demons for each bloke in the party. Female
characters are more than welcome to join in too if their bread is
buttered on that particular side.