BEAUTIFUL ALONE

~Toge no aru kotoba dake 
    konno machi wa utsushiteru itsumo 
    meguriau hito ga nagareru 
    shinjitara kuzureso 
    fuandake dakishimeru hibiyo 
    moshimo kokoni anata ga 
    itara hanasanai noni 
            ~To every life, there's always an end,
            But I close my eyes, I still see your face; beautiful...
            And I throw a rose as they now lower you down
            But I still believe I'll see you again
            I wait for the day that I can once more hold you tight
            Until then, I can't cry this pain away
            Until then, memories are all I have...

"Everything has an end", a terrible truth that I don't want to face... Everytime I close my eyes, all of our beautiful moments comes back to me. Your bright smile, your loving gaze, your warm embrace. I know I'll never see and feel them again but I never stopped believing that you'll come back to me and tell me that all of it was just a joke. But then, I think it will never happen as they lower you down into the cold earth. I only have memories to hold on to now.

~tokeino otoni oikakeraru 
    wasurerukotode kyoo no hi o 
    boku wa ikiteiruyo 
            ~How I long for one more kiss, just to hold you once again
            How I long to hear you say "our love's eternal, never will I leave from by your side..."

"Our love will last forever", a promised that I believed in, now broken, but
the only thing that will keep me alive. How I want to feel your warmth beside me again. The warmth that melted my barrier of ice. How I want to feel your kiss again. The kiss that melted me into your  strong arms.

~anata tto bokutono sabishisa o 
    kasaneru yoni shite kuchizukeru 
    futariga itameta kizuatoga 
    utsukushii wakare o tsugeru daro 
            ~I go my way, I journey on, now 'til forever
            With the memory of our last kiss to keep me going
            And though I am alone again, I shed not a tear
            How beautiful is my loneliness, how great is my pain...

Now, they started to bury you. Covering your beautiful face that can be seen through the glass with earth. I turned away. I can't take seeing you forever gone. Thinking of it makes my heart ache and yearn for your warm and sweet kisses. Now, I'm alone again. It's hard to put up the barrier you broke but sometimes I think I shouldn't. The great pain in my heart will help me remember you...

~nayamashi yoru dakega 
    ai no kage shiite iru kitto 
    michi kakeru tsuki o samayo 
    eien ga owattara 
    munashisani tsutsumaru sotto 
    sorani kieru tsubame o tsubasa boku ni attara 
            ~As night skies arrive, the heartache begins
            For in every dream, the image of you lingers still
            So I walk alone, sleepless, guided by the moon
            I know I'll give to eternal sleep,
            And when that day comes, I'll never again let you go
            I'll pretend that I'm not about to cry
            I'll pretend that these tears are only rain

It's night again. I'll dream about you again but where am I? In the streets, the streets we always walk to together. Now, it's just me.  Commiting suicide always comes into my mind. To follow you...and never to seperate again. Should I?... I looked up in the sky to see if there was any sign. I only see dark clouds and lighting. It starts to rain just like this in this same street, we snuggled close to hide from the rain with our only jacket...  Water runs down my face. Tears? Impossible, I would never cry. Perhaps it's just rain... Washing away my pain.

~shizuka na ameni yasashiku nureru 
    nanika o motome sonno kawari 
    boku wa ai o nakusu 
            ~As I lie awake at night, listening to this quiet rain
            As I bow my head in prayer, my wish is that this burning emptiness inside would heal...

I finally came to the empty apartment. It's much more empty without your presence. I slumped into the bed...our bed. I'll never feel your warm against mine again while I sleep; your kisses before I sleep and when I wake up. Why? Why did you leave me?  I wish I was the one who left so I'll never experience this... Why?...

~anata tto boku tto no kannashimi o 
    itawari auyoni dakishimeru 
    futari ga kizuita omoide ga 
    utsukushii kodoku o egakudaro 
            ~I close my eyes, I turn around, and go on my way
            With the dream that somewhere out there, love, you wait for me, too
            And though I am alone again, I shed not a tear
            How beautiful is my loneliness, how great is my pain...

With everything packed and checked, I picked up my suitcase, locked the door and left. I have to get away from that place. So many memories that I know will only stay that way. But somehow, I didn't want to let go. Somehow, I know you will just be there,  wherever you are, waiting for me...For the right time to join you. I'll wait for that time. Eventhough I'll be alone for a very long time and in great pain, I'll wait. How beautiful is my loneliness, how great is my pain...