RUNNING AWAY

I’m looking at you, across my desk where you sit. You look busy as always, working like there’s no tomorrow. I envy you, Tatsumi… I could never be like that. I could never be the guy you want in your life. Looking at you only brings me memories. Times I dun want to remember perhaps. I wished I could turn back time and start all over again with you. But when I look at you, I know that will never happen to matter how much I change the past. You’ll still hate me. You hated me then, you hated me now and you’ll still hate me later.

I don't want you to give it all up
and leave your own life collecting dust
and I don't want you to feel sorry for me
you never gave us a chance to be

Exactly why you abandoned me like a spoilt toy that can never be repaired? I’ll never know. Maybe I dun wanna know at all. And yet after all you did to me, you still… I dunno were particularly concerned about me. About my well being. The way I dress, the way I eat, the way I am. What is this. Can’t you make up your mind?

And I don't need you to be by my side
and tell me that everything's all right
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
you know I'd do that for you

So why are you running away?
why are you running away?

I remember, the other day when I had some rice on my lips. I must have been in a hurry, I forgot to wipe it away and when I came in, you pulled me, like I was a damsel in distress. You wiped that grains from my lips. I was stunned, yes me. I am absolutely sure that for a moment there everything stopped moving. Hey wait, everything did stop moving a long time ago right? I ran away after that cause I wasn’t sure what happened but I saw what you did, Tatsumi.

I did enough to show you that I
was willing to give and sacrifice
and I was the one who was lifting you up
when you thought your life had had enough
and when I get close you turn away,
there's nothing that I can do or say
so now I need you to tell me the truth
you know I'd do that for you

I saw it. Those fingers you used to wipe my lips. You then place them on your lips. Is that what you call kissing by the third degree? Still, I dun see the need to do that. You know I’ll gladly oblige if you wanted a kiss. I’d give you anything, if you only told me the truth.

I’ll never forget the time you abandoned me. Those harsh words. I tried to hide my face that day, my tears. But you saw them, no matter what I did. Even after that, you still wanted to comfort me. You reached for my hand, hoping to make the pain go away, but I won’t let you. Its ironic, isn’t it. You left me and still wanted me back, all at the same time.

So why are you running away?
why are you running away?

Is it me? Is it you?
nothing that I can do
to make you change your mind

The truth, Tatsumi. How you feel about me. Or what is it in me, that makes you hate me so very much. I want to know, so I can perhaps move on. You called me an idiot once before. You said you dun like idiots. I guess I am. No one wanted me. I was this black sheep wasn’t I, that no one wanted to be paired up with me, and that includes you. I ran away then but actually you were running away. Running from the truth. The truth that you actually care for me.

Is it me? Is it you?
nothing that I can do
is it a waste of time?

Is it me? Is it you?
nothing that I can do
to make you change your mind

I know you hate me and yet love me at the same time. I know you do, so dun try to deny it. I guess you abandoned me for my own good, right? So that I’ll be happier? You sacrifice your happiness for me? That’s foolish Tatsumi. Won’t it be better if we were both happy? Together? In each other’s arms?

So why are you running away?
why are you running away?
(what is it I have to say?)
so why are you running away?
(to make you admit you're afraid)
why are you running away?