CHAPTER EIGHT:
A TALE OF TWO HOAXES
The Federation Starship Voyager, somwhere in the Delta Quadrant
As B'Elanna made her way towards the holodeck a procession of jumbled thoughts were going through her head. 'What are you doing, Lanna? How is this going to help?' 'At least I'll be able to say all the things I've been wanting to say to her for months' she answered herself, 'I could never allow myself to say those things to the real Captain and I have to get it off my chest somehow. Maybe it'll help to get a few things clear in my mind.' Gabrielle had been right, she finally conceded, this was a good idea even if it did make her a little uncomfortable. She could say anything she liked to the Janeway hologram without anyone being any the wiser. She stopped abruptly in her tracks as the thought went through her head that she could also do anything to the Janeway hologram without anyone being any the wiser, but she squeezed her eyes tightly shut against the stream of images and shook her head to dislodge them. No, that would only make it more complicated and that was the last thing she needed right now. She had made her decision and she would stick to it. It was the only way to resolve the situation. So, this meeting was a way to practise the words she would use to inform Janeway of her plans and nothing else. If she allowed herself to take the opportunity to experience the dream she was determined to leave behind......no, becoming intimate with the Janeway hologram would only make it ten times harder to abide by her decision. Now that that dicision had finally been made, B'Elanna felt surprisingly calm.
* * * * * *
Janeway sat in the forest clearing, waiting for the B'Elanna hologram to make her entrance. Once more she tutted at herself for allowing the bard to persuade her into this. She remembered Gabrielle's words as she had sat next to her on her couch earlier that day. "Kathryn" she had said kindly, "this can't go on and you know it. It's eating you up, both of you, sooner or later it's going to start affecting your work." She had conceded that the queen was right, that something had to be done and she supposed that this was the ideal way. Talking to the holographic B'Elanna would allow her to express her feelings without fear of any consequences, to sort out how to handle the situation for real. It was hardly the first time she had used the holodeck in this way, as a dry run, so to speak. But, in that case, why did she feel so nervous?
As she sat musing she heard a rustle of leaves and looked up to see the Klingon stepping into the clearing. "H..hello, B'Elanna" she greeted haltingly as she got to her feet, "will you....come and sit down?"
"Thanks" came the quiet reply as the holographic engineer settled herself on the log the captain had indicated. Janeway began pacing in front of her, the nervous energy coursing through her, but B'Elanna got up again and placed a gently restraining hand on the tense forearm, stilling the captain's agitated movements. "Sit with me" she said softly, "I have to tell you something."
* * * * * *
"NO!" yelled the captain, in total shock, as she sprang to her feet, "no, B'Elanna, you can't leave."
"Don't you see, Kathryn? I have to. I don't want to go but I can't stay here like this. I have no particular reason to go back to the Alpha quadrant, I'll do fine here. As soon as we find a planet that needs an engineer I'll leave. It's the only way."
Panic thumped through Janeway's chest as her rapid pacing began again. "But...but, you can't....you..."
B'Elanna stood up and took Janeway's biceps in her hands, forcing her to stand still and look into dark, Klingon eyes. "Listen to me" she urged softly, "you know I'm right, Kathryn. This situation can't go on. We can't be together and I can't stand to be around you and not be able to....." her voice started to break as she felt her hearts fill with grief, "to be...with you. I'm not asking you for anything, I know nothing's going to happen between us. I'll never stop wanting you, Kathryn and I'll never stop loving you, but I can't do this anymore....I can't." As the tears began to fall down her young face, Kathryn pulled her into a fierce embrace and sobbed into her hair, "what have I done?"
"No, it's not your fault, Kathryn, please don't....."
"Whose fault is it then, if not mine?" The captain pulled away slightly to gaze intently into the Klingon's face. "Please, B'Elanna, I love you so much....p..please don't leave me. I couldn't stand it....please." Her voice desperate with need, Janeway pulled B'Elanna to the ground and began kissing her passionately, her hands clutching at the small, strong body beneath her. B'Elanna's hearts thumped and she could hear her blood gushing through her veins trying to keep up as her resolve started to weaken. Janeway was completely lost in her despair, her only thought to keep this young woman with her. B'Elanna let out a growl filled with lust and pain and rose to flip the captain onto her back, pinning her wrists above her head as she glowered down. The desire was so strong she couldn't fight it and she bent to capture the captain's lips in a violently searing kiss, moving quickly to suckle at her neck as her hands began to rip unceremoniously at the woman's clothes. Then a voice in her head yelled 'stop, B'Elanna, you promised yourself you wouldn't do this. It'll only make it harder to leave and you know you have to leave.' With a roar of effort she tore herself away and, wincing in pain, ordered desperately "Computer, end programme."
The Klingon dropped to her knees, the shudders that rushed through her threatening to tear her apart. She threw her head back and roared out her frustration and suffering, the sound dissolving into uncontrolled sobs. Behind her, still lying on the now gridded floor the captain looked up in confusion and stared at the Klingon's back. "B...B'Elanna?" she asked quietly, but there was no reply from the distraught woman, who was now unaware of anything but the agony tearing at her chest. Janeway struggled to her knees and moved behind the woman, stretching out a tentative hand. B'Elanna jerked around in surprise at the touch and found herself staring into the eyes of a real, flesh and blood Janeway, her eyes sparkling with tears.
Both were silent for a long time, just looking into eachother's eyes, both experiencing a rush of emotions and thoughts that stunned them into silence and inaction. "Did.....did you do this?" asked the captain eventually, "was it you that tricked me?"
"NO!" blurted the Klingon, "I swear, Captain, I would never......I thought you were a hologram, or I would never have said....."
"You didn't mean it then....about leaving?" asked the captain, the hope evident in her tone.
"I did mean it but....I wasn't ready to tell you yet. I wanted to find the right way to..."
Janeway laid a gentle hand on the Klignon's lips as she interrupted. "I thought you were a hologram too, otherwise I would have worked harder to retain my dignity. But since you've already seen me loose it I don't mind begging....." she looked down to try and hide the new tears that were forming but, realising it was pointless to hide now she raised her eyes to B'Elanna's and let her see right into her heart and soul. "Stay with me, B'Elanna....be with me....please."
"Be with you?" asked the Klingon tentatively, needing clarification even as she feared the answer would confirm she had misunderstood.
"Yes" affirmed Janeway, "be with me." The captain leaned in for a gentle kiss and smiled at the younger woman's astonishment.
"Are you sure?" came the uncertain question, "I wasn't trying to pressure you into.....I mean, it's not just because...?"
"No," smiled Janeway, "it's not just because you said you were leaving. That just made me think, that's all." Taking a deep breath she continued "you were right, B'Elanna, about something needing to be done. I can't go on like this either, but I can't lose you. If you left it'd tear me apart, I'd lose everything, my light, my joy, my hope, my whole reason for living. When I think about that next to Starfleet protocols and the few problems a relationship with you might possibly cause......well, there's just no competition."
"Kahless!" said B'Elanna breathlessly, "you mean it? You want to...I mean..."
A little nod, accompanied by a gentle expression of total love lit up the captain's face as she ran the back of her hand down B'Elanna's cheek. "Stay with me, B'Elanna" she repeated, "I swear I'll spend the rest of my life making sure you'll never regret it."
Love wrapped around them and held them safe in eachother's arms. They held eachother for long moments, just allowing themselves for the first time to really feel the warmth and tenderness of their love. Then they pulled apart for a soft kiss that left them smiling joyfully and resting their foreheads against eachother. "I think I know who set us up" admitted the Klingon after a while.
"Yes" laughed the captain, "I think I do too, but it doesn't matter. I should be thanking them for making me see sense finally" and she hugged the engineer closer.
"I love you, Kathryn" murmurred the Klingon softly as she let her hand travel up and down the captain's back.
"I love you too, my darling" came the gentle reply, "so much."
* * * * * *
The three stood before the captain's ready-room desk, trying to ignore the stony implacability on her face. Tom held his body stiffly, his hands behind his back, his gaze lowered contritely. Xena had her arms crossed over her chest, her weight on one leg, her expression a little sulky, looking for all the world like a petulant teenager. The Amazon queen, however, was defiant, her bearing noble and dignified, her steady gaze making it extremely difficult for the captain to keep up her pretense of anger. "Well?" asked Janeway when she had fininshed her chastising speach, "what have you got to say for yourselves?"
"Captain" asked the sandy-haired pilot "may I speak freely?"
"Go on"
"The holograms already existed, ma'am, we didn't create them."
"Granted, Mr Paris, but you still used them fraudulently, didn't you?"
"Actually no, Captain" chimed in Xena, "we didn't use them at all." Janeway turned her glare on the Warrior Princess but found to her dismay that there was, after all, someone in the universe who could unflinchingly outstare her. Turning her back on the trio and trying to keep her shoulders from displaying her mirth, she said "I realise you two are still unfamiliar with many of our regulations and that your intentions were good but that is no defence. As for you, Tom, you should know better, unless...." she turned abruptly as if the idea had just occured to her, "unless you're trying to punish me for B'Elanna."
"What?!" asked Tom in dismay, "how could you think that, Captain? I would never.....I know it's over between B'Elanna and I.....I was trying to help."
Wishing to stop her new friend's interrogation, Gabrielle stepped in. "Don't blame Tom, Captain. He was just helping us out. It was my idea."
"Oh, I realise that" fumed the captain, taking a step closer to the bard, "and if you weren't the Queen of the Amazons I'd....."
"What?" interrupted Xena, stepping between her lover and the captain, "what would you do, Captain? Throw us out into space?"
"Unfortunately" replied Janeway, aware of the warning in Xena's voice, "that would impact too greatly on the timeline." She stepped back a little, noticing how the tension was immediately released from the Warrior's body, "so instead I've decided to......invite you all to a little celebratory party B'Elanna and I are having in our quarters tonight."
There was a stunned silence as the captain waited for a response, still fighting to keep the
amuzement from her face. "Excuse me, Captain" asked Tom, "did you say 'our' quarters?"
"Yes, Mr Paris. B'Elanna and I moved in together this morning."
"It...it worked?!" asked the bard falteringly, still unsure whether to believe it.
"It most certainly did, Your Majesty" Janeway confirmed, a wide, joyous smile now plastered over her lips.
"And all this was just...?"
"Just tit for tat" explained the captain, adding simply "gotcha!" There was a general sigh of relief as everyone relaxed.
"Pretty impressive, Captain," complemented the Warrior Princess, "I really thought you were angry."
"Well, I should be" growled the captain good-naturedly, "but in fact I'm grateful to you all for helping me to come to my senses. Besides I'm far too happy at the moment to be angry."
She walked over to put a hand on the relieved pilot's shoulder. "I especially want to thank you, Tom. I know this can't have been easy for you."
"Well, Captain, I know B'Elanna and I are finished but we're still friends and I care about her. I want her to be happy, that's all. You make her happy."
Janeway nodded appreciatively and said simply but sincerely "thank you."
* * * * * *
When the three guests had congratulated a grinning B'Elanna and made themselves comfortable in the quarters she now shared with her captain, Gabrielle commented "you know, B'Elanna, your girlfriend is mean." The Klingon giggled as she reached out for her lover's hand admitting "she said she was going to pay you back. What did she do?"
"Pay us back!" exclaimed Tom, "I thought she was going to throw me out an airlock!"
"Well, it serves you right" smiled the captain, "you shouldn't have been medling."
"Aren't you glad of my medling, ma'am," he prodded gently, taking a sip of his wine with a sidelong glance.
"Yes, in this case I am, Tom" she admitted, gazing lovingly at B'Elanna, "but don't make a habit of it."
"Absolutely not, Captain!"
They chatted amiably over a light meal and then sttled down on the comfortable chairs, B'Elanna and Kathryn snuggling together on the sofa. "I must say" Gabrielle began, "I envy your bards. Having the holodeck at one's disposal must really help the creative process."
"We don't actually have bards, as such," explained B'Elanna, "we have writers, of course, authors and holo-authors, but some critics say the holodeck has actually contributed to a decline in creativity, that it's made it too easy, that authors no longer need to be able to paint a picture or create an atmosphere just with words as you do, Gabrielle. I suppose I can see their point but I think holo-authors have a different kind of creativity."
"What do you think, Tom,?" asked the bard, "you're a holo-author, aren't you?"
"Hardly! And if I am, I'm only an amateur. I'm a pretty good programmer maybe, but as far as creating original works is concerned, well I couldn't hope to compete with professionals like Terras of Vulcan, or even the Betazoid Meridian Philos."
"Don't put yourself down, Tom," the captain admonished, "Philos's work is far more dirivitive than yours. Fair Haven was inspired and you certainly managed to fool us pretty well today."
The pilot reddened and took another sip of his drink to cover his embarassement. Then an idea came to him. "Why don't we hear from a real master?" he suggested, "Gabrielle? Would you tell us a story?"
"Oh, yes!" agreed the captain excitedly and it was the bard's turn to flush.
"Please, Gabrielle," begged B'Elanna, "we'd be honoured."
Gabrielle thought about it for a second but, seeing four expectant faces gazing at her adoringly, conceded graciously "Alright, if you insist" and got up to stand in the middle of their circle. She composed herself, taking a deep breath, and then began "I sing of Xena, Warrior Princess...."
"No!" moaned Xena, "please, Bri, some one else." The bard laughed indulgently as she explained to the others "she hates hearing stories about herself, even though they're usually the best ones." Another groan from the warrior and she conceded "alright, I sing of Hercules?"
"Better" smiled Xena as the bard resettled herself and began again "I sing of Hercules, son to mighty Zeus........"
Half an hour later a stunned Janeway was pulled out of her rapturous applause by the beeping of her commbadge. "Captain" came the voice of the EMH,
"Yes, Doctor, what can I do for you?"
"I thought you'd want to know, Captain," the hologram informed her, "Mr Kim was just brought in. He collapsed in Engineering about ten minutes ago and he's still unconscious."
End of Chapter Eight
