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 Biblical
Passages
In many
places in the Old Testament, there are descriptions of
the pain that infertility and child loss brings. In
addition, there are accounts of all types of
suffering. By reading and re-reading many of these
passages, I was better able to understand that G-d
sees and understands our pain, and I was able to glean
some insights into how to accept some of it. Let me
know if any of these have helped or if there are any
passages that I missed.]
Genesis
16:1-11, 17:15-17, 20:17-21:08
(Sarah's infertility &
Isaac)
016:001 Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no
children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian,
whose name was Hagar. 016:002 And Sarai said
unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained
me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my
maid; it may be that I may obtain children by
her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.
016:003 And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar her
maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten
years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her
husband Abram to be his wife. 016:004 And he
went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when
she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was
despised in her eyes. 016:005 And Sarai said
unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given
my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that
she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes:
the LORD judge between me and thee. 016:006 But
Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in
thine hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And
when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from
her face. 016:007 And the angel of the LORD
found her by a fountain of water in the
wilderness, by the fountain in the way to Shur.
016:008 And he said, Hagar, Sarai's maid, whence
camest thou? and whither wilt thou go? And she
said, I flee from the face of my mistress Sarai.
016:009 And the angel of the LORD said unto her,
Return to thy mistress, and submit thyself under
her hands. 016:010 And the angel of the LORD
said unto her, I will multiply thy seed
exceedingly, that it shall not be numbered for
multitude. 016:011 And the angel of the LORD
said unto her, Behold, thou art with child and
shalt bear a son, and shalt call his name
Ishmael; because the LORD hath heard thy
affliction.
017:015 And God said unto Abraham, As for
Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name
Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be. 017:016 And
I will bless her, and give thee a son also of
her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a
mother of nations; kings of people shall be of
her. 017:017 Then Abraham fell upon his face,
and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a
child be born unto him that is an hundred years
old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old,
bear?
020:017 So Abraham prayed unto God: and God
healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his
maidservants; and they bare children. 020:018
For the LORD had fast closed up all the wombs of
the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah
Abraham's wife. 021:001 And the LORD visited
Sarah as he had said, and the LORD did unto
Sarah as he had spoken. 021:002 For Sarah
conceived, and bare Abraham a son in his old
age, at the set time of which God had spoken to
him. 021:003 And Abraham called the name of his
son that was born unto him, whom Sarah bare to
him, Isaac. 021:004 And Abraham circumcised his
son Isaac being eight days old, as God had
commanded him. 021:005 And Abraham was an
hundred years old, when his son Isaac was born
unto him. 021:006 And Sarah said, God hath made
me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh
with me. 021:007 And she said, Who would have
said unto Abraham, that Sarah should have given
children suck? for I have born him a son in his
old age. 021:008 And the child grew, and was
weaned: and Abraham made a great feast the same
day that Isaac was weaned.
Sarah
carried with her for many years the pain of
infertility. Because of her devotion to both G-d
and her husband, Abraham, she was able to
fulfill her wifely obligation to provide her
husband with a child, through her handmaiden,
Hagar. However, she could not contain her
feelings of pain and jealousy, so she sent Hagar
and her son away. Sarah was just as human as the
rest of us are. Sometimes, when we are grieving,
it may be difficult to look at others who have
children without feeling anger or hurt. While we
do not really wish our pain on others, it may be
temporarily difficult to share in the happiness
of others for their children and their future
because we are suffering the loss of our child
and our future dreams. While it is not clear
what the future holds for me in regard to being
able to have a child or not, it is clear that
G-d will provide me, as He did for Sarah and for
Hagar, with something that will both console me
and enrich my life. Hang on to the hope that the
hand of G-d will deliver you, too, from
infertility. ]
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Genesis
29:20-30:24
(Rachel's infertility &
Joseph)
029:020 And Jacob
served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed
unto him but a few days, for the love he had to
her. [029:021 And Jacob said unto Laban,
Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that
I may go in unto her. 029:022 And Laban gathered
together all the men of the place, and made a
feast. 029:023 And it came to pass in the
evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and
brought her to him; and he went in unto her.
029:024 And Laban gave unto his daughter Leah
Zilpah his maid for an handmaid. 029:025 And it
came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it
was Leah: and he said to Laban, What is this
thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with
thee for Rachel? wherefore then hast thou
beguiled me? 029:026 And Laban said, It must not
be so done in our country, to give the younger
before the firstborn. 029:027 Fulfil her week,
and we will give thee this also for the service
which thou shalt serve with me yet seven other
years. 029:028 And Jacob did so, and fulfilled
her week: and he gave him Rachel his daughter to
wife also. 029:029 And Laban gave to Rachel his
daughter Bilhah his handmaid to be her
maid.] 029:030 And he went in also unto
Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah,
and served with him yet seven other years.
029:031 And when the LORD saw that Leah was
hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was
barren. 029:032 And Leah conceived, and bare a
son, and she called his name Reuben: for she
said, Surely the LORD hath looked upon my
affliction; now therefore my husband will love
me. 029:033 And she conceived again, and bare a
son; and said, Because the LORD hath heard I was
hated, he hath therefore given me this son also:
and she called his name Simeon. 029:034 And she
conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Now
this time will my husband be joined unto me,
because I have born him three sons: therefore
was his name called Levi. 029:035 And she
conceived again, and bare a son: and she said,
Now will I praise the LORD: therefore she called
his name Judah; and left bearing. 030:001 And
when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children,
Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob,
Give me children, or else I die. 030:002 And
Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel: and he
said, Am I in God's stead, who hath withheld
from thee the fruit of the womb? 030:003 And she
said, Behold my maid Bilhah, go in unto her; and
she shall bear upon my knees, that I may also
have children by her. 030:004 And she gave him
Bilhah her handmaid to wife: and Jacob went in
unto her. 030:005 And Bilhah conceived, and bare
Jacob a son. 030:006 And Rachel said, God hath
judged me, and hath also heard my voice, and
hath given me a son: therefore called she his
name Dan. 030:007 And Bilhah Rachel's maid
conceived again, and bare Jacob a second son.
030:008 And Rachel said, With great wrestlings
have I wrestled with my sister, and I have
prevailed: and she called his name Naphtali.
030:009 When Leah saw that she had left bearing,
she took Zilpah her maid, and gave her Jacob to
wife. 030:010 And Zilpah Leah's maid bare Jacob
a son. 030:011 And Leah said, A troop cometh:
and she called his name Gad. 030:012 And Zilpah
Leah's maid bare Jacob a second son. 030:013 And
Leah said, Happy am I, for the daughters will
call me blessed: and she called his name Asher.
030:014 And Reuben went in the days of wheat
harvest, and found mandrakes in the field, and
brought them unto his mother Leah. Then Rachel
said to Leah, Give me, I pray thee, of thy son's
mandrakes. 030:015 And she said unto her, Is it
a small matter that thou hast taken my husband?
and wouldest thou take away my son's mandrakes
also? And Rachel said, Therefore he shall lie
with thee to night for thy son's mandrakes.
030:016 And Jacob came out of the field in the
evening, and Leah went out to meet him, and
said, Thou must come in unto me; for surely I
have hired thee with my son's mandrakes. And he
lay with her that night. 030:017 And God
hearkened unto Leah, and she conceived, and bare
Jacob the fifth son. 030:018 And Leah said, God
hath given me my hire, because I have given my
maiden to my husband: and she called his name
Issachar. 030:019 And Leah conceived again, and
bare Jacob the sixth son. 030:020 And Leah said,
God hath endued me with a good dowry; now will
my husband dwell with me, because I have born
him six sons: and she called his name Zebulun.
030:021 And afterwards she bare a daughter, and
called her name Dinah. 030:022 And God
remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her, and
opened her womb. 030:023 And she conceived, and
bare a son; and said, God hath taken away my
reproach: 030:024 And she called his name
Joseph; and said, The LORD shall add to me
another son.
Considering
adoption as an alternative? Notice how Rachel
accepted her handmaidens' children as her own.
Popular myth has it that, as soon as you adopt a
baby, you become pregnant. After 'adopting'
these children, Rachel delivered her own. I
don't promise that it will happen to you, but it
worked for Rachel!]
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I
Samuel 1:1-2:10
(Hannah's Infertility &
Samuel)
001:001 Now there was a certain man of
Ramathaimzophim, of mount Ephraim, and his name
was Elkanah, the son of Jeroham, the son of
Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an
Ephrathite: 001:002 And he had two wives; the
name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the
other Peninnah: and Peninnah had children, but
Hannah had no children. 001:003 And this man
went up out of his city yearly to worship and to
sacrifice unto the LORD of hosts in Shiloh. And
the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, the
priests of the LORD, were there. 001:004 And
when the time was that Elkanah offered, he gave
to Peninnah his wife, and to all her sons and
her daughters, portions: 001:005 But unto Hannah
he gave a worthy portion; for he loved Hannah:
but the LORD had shut up her womb. 001:006 And
her adversary also provoked her sore, for to
make her fret, because the LORD had shut up her
womb. 001:007 And as he did so year by year,
when she went up to the house of the LORD, so
she provoked her; therefore she wept, and did
not eat. 001:008 Then said Elkanah her husband
to her, Hannah, why weepest thou? and why eatest
thou not? and why is thy heart grieved? am not I
better to thee than ten sons? 001:009 So Hannah
rose up after they had eaten in Shiloh, and
after they had drunk. Now Eli the priest sat
upon a seat by a post of the temple of the LORD.
001:010 And she was in bitterness of soul, and
prayed unto the LORD, and wept sore. 001:011 And
she vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts, if
thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine
handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine
handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a
man child, then I will give him unto the LORD
all the days of his life, and there shall no
razor come upon his head. 001:012 And it came to
pass, as she continued praying before the LORD,
that Eli marked her mouth. 001:013 Now Hannah,
she spake in her heart; only her lips moved, but
her voice was not heard: therefore Eli thought
she had been drunken. 001:014 And Eli said unto
her, How long wilt thou be drunken? put away thy
wine from thee. 001:015 And Hannah answered and
said, No, my lord, I am a woman of a sorrowful
spirit: I have drunk neither wine nor strong
drink, but have poured out my soul before the
LORD. 001:016 Count not thine handmaid for a
daughter of Belial: for out of the abundance of
my complaint and grief have I spoken hitherto.
001:017 Then Eli answered and said, Go in peace:
and the God of Israel grant thee thy petition
that thou hast asked of him. 001:018 And she
said, Let thine handmaid find grace in thy
sight. So the woman went her way, and did eat,
and her countenance was no more sad. 001:019 And
they rose up in the morning early, and
worshipped before the LORD, and returned, and
came to their house to Ramah: and Elkanah knew
Hannah his wife; and the LORD remembered her.
001:020 Wherefore it came to pass, when the time
was come about after Hannah had conceived, that
she bare a son, and called his name Samuel,
saying, Because I have asked him of the LORD.
001:022 But Hannah went not up; for she said
unto her husband, I will not go up until the
child be weaned, and then I will bring him, that
he may appear before the LORD, and there abide
for ever. 001:023 And Elkanah her husband said
unto her, Do what seemeth thee good; tarry until
thou have weaned him; only the LORD establish
his word. So the woman abode, and gave her son
suck until she weaned him. 001:024 And when she
had weaned him, she took him up with her, with
three bullocks, and one ephah of flour, and a
bottle of wine, and brought him unto the house
of the LORD in Shiloh: and the child was young.
001:025 And they slew a bullock, and brought the
child to Eli. 001:026 And she said, Oh my lord,
as thy soul liveth, my lord, I am the woman that
stood by thee here, praying unto the LORD.
001:027 For this child I prayed; and the LORD
hath given me my petition which I asked of him:
001:028 Therefore also I have lent him to the
LORD; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to
the LORD. And he worshipped the LORD there.
002:001 And Hannah prayed, and said, My heart
rejoiceth in the LORD, mine horn is exalted in
the LORD: my mouth is enlarged over mine
enemies; because I rejoice in thy salvation.
002:002 There is none holy as the LORD: for
there is none beside thee: neither is there any
rock like our God. 002:003 Talk no more so
exceeding proudly; let not arrogancy come out of
your mouth: for the LORD is a God of knowledge,
and by him actions are weighed. 002:004 The bows
of the mighty men are broken, and they that
stumbled are girded with strength. 002:005 They
that were full have hired out themselves for
bread; and they that were hungry ceased: so that
the barren hath born seven; and she that hath
many children is waxed feeble. 002:006 The LORD
killeth, and maketh alive: he bringeth down to
the grave, and bringeth up. 002:007 The LORD
maketh poor, and maketh rich: he bringeth low,
and lifteth up. 002:008 He raiseth up the poor
out of the dust, and lifteth up the beggar from
the dunghill, to set them among princes, and to
make them inherit the throne of glory: for the
pillars of the earth are the LORD's, and he hath
set the world upon them. 002:009 He will keep
the feet of his saints, and the wicked shall be
silent in darkness; for by strength shall no man
prevail. 002:010 The adversaries of the LORD
shall be broken to pieces; out of heaven shall
he thunder upon them: the LORD shall judge the
ends of the earth; and he shall give strength
unto his king, and exalt the horn of his
anointed.
Believe
in the power of prayer!]
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II
Samuel 12:13-23
(Death of King David's son)
012:013 And David said unto Nathan, I have
sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said unto
David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou
shalt not die. 012:014 Howbeit, because by this
deed thou hast given great occasion to the
enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also
that is born unto thee shall surely die. 012:015
And Nathan departed unto his house. And the LORD
struck the child that Uriah's wife bare unto
David, and it was very sick. 012:016 David
therefore besought God for the child; and David
fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the
earth. 012:017 And the elders of his house
arose, and went to him, to raise him up from the
earth: but he would not, neither did he eat
bread with them. 012:018 And it came to pass on
the seventh day, that the child died. And the
servants of David feared to tell him that the
child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the
child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he
would not hearken unto our voice: how will he
then vex himself, if we tell him that the child
is dead? 012:019 But when David saw that his
servants whispered, David perceived that the
child was dead: therefore David said unto his
servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He
is dead. 012:020 Then David arose from the
earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and
changed his apparel, and came into the house of
the LORD, and worshipped: then he came to his
own house; and when he required, they set bread
before him, and he did eat. 012:021 Then said
his servants unto him, What thing is this that
thou hast done? thou didst fast and weep for the
child, while it was alive; but when the child
was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread. 012:022
And he said, While the child was yet alive, I
fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell
whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the
child may live? 012:023 But now he is dead,
wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back
again? I shall go to him, but he shall not
return to me.
It
is interesting to see the male reaction to child
loss. King David mourned his son's dying days,
but, once his son died, he was determined to
move forward in life. There is an important
lesson to be learned here: life must go on.
While this is true, do not deprive yourself the
time to focus on your loss and to mourn, in
whatever way you need to.]
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Isaiah
40:31
- But those who wait on the Lord
- Shall renew their strength;
- They shall mount up with wings like
eagles,
- They shall run and not be weary,
- They shall walk and not faint.
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Judges
13:02-24
(Manoah's wife's infertility &
Samson)
013:002 And there was a certain man of Zorah,
of the family of the Danites, whose name was
Manoah; and his wife was barren, and bare not.
013:003 And the angel of the LORD appeared unto
the woman, and said unto her, Behold now, thou
art barren, and bearest not: but thou shalt
conceive, and bear a son. 013:004 Now therefore
beware, I pray thee, and drink not wine nor
strong drink, and eat not any unclean thing:
013:005 For, lo, thou shalt conceive, and bear a
son; and no razor shall come on his head: for
the child shall be a Nazarite unto God from the
womb: and he shall begin to deliver Israel out
of the hand of the Philistines. 013:006 Then the
woman came and told her husband, saying, A man
of God came unto me, and his countenance was
like the countenance of an angel of God, very
terrible: but I asked him not whence he was,
neither told he me his name: 013:007 But he said
unto me, Behold, thou shalt conceive, and bear a
son; and now drink no wine nor strong drink,
neither eat any unclean thing: for the child
shall be a Nazarite to God from the womb to the
day of his death. 013:008 Then Manoah intreated
the LORD, and said, O my Lord, let the man of
God which thou didst send come again unto us,
and teach us what we shall do unto the child
that shall be born. 013:009 And God hearkened to
the voice of Manoah; and the angel of God came
again unto the woman as she sat in the field:
but Manoah her husband was not with her. 013:010
And the woman made haste, and ran, and shewed
her husband, and said unto him, Behold, the man
hath appeared unto me, that came unto me the
other day. 013:011 And Manoah arose, and went
after his wife, and came to the man, and said
unto him, Art thou the man that spakest unto the
woman? And he said, I am. 013:012 And Manoah
said, Now let thy words come to pass. How shall
we order the child, and how shall we do unto
him? 013:013 And the angel of the LORD said unto
Manoah, Of all that I said unto the woman let
her beware. 013:014 She may not eat of any thing
that cometh of the vine, neither let her drink
wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean thing:
all that I commanded her let her observe.
013:015 And Manoah said unto the angel of the
LORD, I pray thee, let us detain thee, until we
shall have made ready a kid for thee. 013:016
And the angel of the LORD said unto Manoah,
Though thou detain me, I will not eat of thy
bread: and if thou wilt offer a burnt offering,
thou must offer it unto the LORD. For Manoah
knew not that he was an angel of the LORD.
013:017 And Manoah said unto the angel of the
LORD, What is thy name, that when thy sayings
come to pass we may do thee honour? 013:018 And
the angel of the LORD said unto him, Why askest
thou thus after my name, seeing it is secret?
013:019 So Manoah took a kid with a meat
offering, and offered it upon a rock unto the
LORD: and the angel did wonderously; and Manoah
and his wife looked on. 013:020 For it came to
pass, when the flame went up toward heaven from
off the altar, that the angel of the LORD
ascended in the flame of the altar. And Manoah
and his wife looked on it, and fell on their
faces to the ground. 013:021 But the angel of
the LORD did no more appear to Manoah and to his
wife. Then Manoah knew that he was an angel of
the LORD. 013:022 And Manoah said unto his wife,
We shall surely die, because we have seen God.
013:023 But his wife said unto him, If the LORD
were pleased to kill us, he would not have
received a burnt offering and a meat offering at
our hands, neither would he have shewed us all
these things, nor would as at this time have
told us such things as these. 013:024 And the
woman bare a son, and called his name Samson:
and the child grew, and the LORD blessed
him.
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