JOKES

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter      : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter      : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter      : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter      : Funny? But why aren't you laughing?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Son      : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son      : Well, where did you get mummy then?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Wife        : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife        : Yes and no.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"
"Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a
scotch and soda."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Man : How old is your father?
Boy  : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy  : He became a father only when I was born.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
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