Sunday, June 2nd, 2002

We open in the back where Lethal is ranting away with Reck looking on in disinterest.
Payne walks in and tells Reck his Doritos are in trouble.
Reck runs off to save his Doritos. Que?
Payne tells Lethal to kiss his ass.
Payne tells Lethal he's going to put him somewhere between bed-wetting and a near death experience.
Payne points out that half of the Forsaken is missing.
Lethal stalks away.
The show gets underway.
Lethal comes out.
Lethal rants about beating Summers and burying Vegas.
Lethal gives respect to Payne.
Lethal's big word of the day: "supercedes".
Lethal: "This comes from my heart. I'm a changed man."

Good, cause there's nothing worse then a smelly diaper.

Time to make today's matches!
The Asylum faces... each other for the Inter-City title.
Payne faces a mystery opponent, someone from the Forsaken.
Maximum's music hits.
Out he comes and demands a contract.
They trade barbs.
Lethal tells him ok, and they head to the back and as soon as Maximum turns his back...
If you don't know what happens next, you don't deserve to read this.
Lethal makes himself a match against Maximum.

Match #1: Sickness vs. SWA Inter-City Champion 3-East

Sickness meanders out to the ring.
His tag team champion partner 3-East is out second.
Both men are tentative to lock up.
They shake hands.
They finally lock up and Sickness pushes away 3-East.
3-East gains control with a side headlock.
Sickness pushes 3-East into the ropes but gets met with a forearm.
3-East goes to work.
Huge suplex gets a two count.
Sickness takes over with some punchin' and a-stompin'.
Sickness lets 3-East get up.
Then low blows him.
Sickness returns the suplex and gets a two count of his own.
Sickness with a dropkick.
Sickness locks on a half crab.
3-East reverses it and then drop his legs into Sickness', um, chest?
3-East is having trouble standing up.
Sickness' kicks out 3-East's leg and stomps away.
Sickness dropkicks 3-East in the head. Ouch.
Elbow drop of the second rope.
DDT gets a two count.
Sickness whips 3-East sternum first into the corner.
Sickness hits a... move that I don't know the name of.
It only gets a two though, so who cares?
3-East comes out with another low blow to get back in charge.
The ref threatens to DQ 3-East.
DDT out of the corner.
3-East goes up and hits an elbow drop and snags just a two count.
3-East clubbers away.
Big spear on Sickness!
Two count only!
Guillotine leg drop DDT, two count.
3-East ducks a clothesline and the ref eats it.
3-East hits Shock Therapy.
Reck runs out and chairs 3-East a couple of times.
Everyone is down!
Finally Sickness is up and is as confused as President Bush with a MENSA test.
Sickness goes up and lands the Black Plague!
YOUR WINNER AND NEW INTER-CITY CHAMPION: Sickness via Black Plague in 10:06.
Postmatch, Sickness helps his partner up and gives him his due.

Match #2: Lethal (w/o Reck) vs. Maximum

Lethal tosses away his sunglasses.
Test of strength to start.
Maximum to one knee, then powers up.
Lethal with a hammerlock.
Maximum reverses it and locks a chicken wing on the other arm.
Lethal comes around with another hammerlock.
Maximum with a single leg take down and then lands a cross knee breaker.
Lethal scampers away and complains to the ref.
Lock up, Lethal with a hammerlock into an armbar.
Maximum rolls through it and applies another hammerlock.
Jackhammer gets a two count.
Lethal catches Maximum with a kick in the stomach.
Lethal applies a side headlock.
Maximum drops down and turns Lethal back and gets in a two count.
Lethal regains the side headlock and brings Maximum over.
Maximum again rolls Lethal over for a two count.
Lethal scores a big running clothesline out of the corner.
Leg drop gets two.
Lethal goes to work on Maximum's knee.
Lethal jaws away and Maximum slips in a cradle, but only gets a quick two.
Lethal with a nice La Majistral but it just gets him two.
Lethal wrenches on Maximum's arm and goes up for Old School.
Maximum launches him off though.
Maximum picks Lethal up with a gut wrench, and looks for a power bomb, but Lethal wiggles and Maximum looks for a Payneful Reality, but Lethal wiggles again and Maximum finally plants him with a slam.

That was a novel and a half.

Cover gets a two.
Lethal ducks a clothesline, then ducks a back elbow and gets caught with a clothesline.
Two count.
Power slam.
Two count.
Maximum clamps on a Texas Cloverleaf.
Lethal reaches the ropes.
Maximum with a float over cover that gets two.
Lethal ducks a clothesline and catches Maximum with a clothesline.
Three count.
Lethal goes up top and hits a big leg drop!
Just a two count.
While Lethal jaws with the ref again, Maximum slips into a Fisherman's suplex pinning position and gets two.
Lethal with a sunset flip, two.
Maximum reverses it for a two!
Maximum with a front power slam, two count.
Triple back breaker, two count.
Maximum with a bow and arrow.
Lethal reaches the ropes.
Lethal tries to punch Maximum but gets met with a DDT that gets a two.
Maximum with a rolling dive and a sloppy cover that only gets two.
From his knees Maximum picks up Lethal, stands up and slams him.
Elbow from the second rope, two count.
Lethal floats over and drops Maximum with a reverse DDT.
Lethal with Poetry in Motion.
Tornado bulldog.
Maximum ducks a clothesline and eats the Superkick!
Payne reaches in, grabs Maximum's hand and pulls his shoulder up!
Lethal argues with Payne.
The ref checks Maximum who is favouring his knee.
Lethal drops in a knee to the groin.
Maximum with a fireman's carry into a bridge, gets two.
Lethal with a back breaker.
He goes back to discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon with Payne.
The ref is distracted checking Lethal's boots and Payne clocks him.
Lethal turns around and gets met with the DBS.
YOUR WINNER: Maximum via DBS in 14:57.
Post-match, Payne laughs his head off.

Match #3: SWA Tag Team Champions Sickness and 3-East vs. Maximum and SWA World Heavyweight Champion Payne

The champs come out first and don't pose.
Sickness once again applauds his partner's performance.
Sickness challenges any team to come out.
Maximum comes out fresh off his victory over Lethal.
Sickness reminds him he lost to him at Day of Reckoning.
Maximum's partner... Payne!
Payne calls this match a warm-up for later.
Maximum starts out against Sickness and offers a handshake.
Guess what happens.
You're right! They DO agree that Diet Dr. Pepper tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper.
No, wait... Maximum gets decked.
Sickness locks on a half crab.
And stomps away after Maximum breaks out.
Big DDT.
Sickness tags out.
3-East stomps away.
3-East makes a wish.
3-East with a HUGE reverse spin kick.
3-East puts a foot on Maximum's chest and gets a two count.
Maximum with a single leg take down and quickly locks on a bow and arrow.
He tilts it into a pinning predicament that gets two.
Jackhammer gets two.
Gut wrench into a diamond cutter gets a two!
Maximum looks to apply the Texas Cloverleaf but Sickness breaks it up.
Payne comes in and distracts the ref allowing the double team.
The Asylum in control.
Maximum gets CLOCKED by Poetry in Motion!

3-East's momentum carries him OVER the top rope to the floor afterwards.

Sickness covers the downed Maximum, but he barely kicks out at two!
Sickness goes up and hits the Black Plague!
Maximum kicks out at the one!

Check this guy for steroid usage.

Sickness is beside himself and stomps away.
Sickness whips Maximum into the ropes and he tags out.
Payne comes in and devastates Sickness with a big vertical suplex
Knee drop, elbow drop, gum drop.

No wait...

Payne tries to pull Sickness' arm out of the socket.
Payne wipes out 3-East on the apron.
Payne picks up Sickness and carries him over and makes him tag 3-East and then dumps him on the outside.
Payne invites 3-East in and Payne takes control with some knee lifts in the corner.
Big clothesline, Payne pulls 3-East up before the three count.
Inverted side slam.
Maximum tags in and drops and elbow from the second.
Cover gets a two count.
Kneeling pile driver, two count.
Maximum looks for the DBS but 3-East floats over and drops him with an inverted DDT, two count.
Drop kick to the knee.
3-East tags Sickness and holds Maximum, allowing a top rope elbow drop.
Spine buster, cover is broken up by Payne.
Sickness goes up and hits the Black Plague again.
Maximum kicks out again!
Sickness tries a suplex but maximum floats over and gets two.
Maximum lifts Sickness into the torture rack and then rolls it into a pinning combo that gets two.
Both men are down, Sickness is up at the five count.
Sickness drops a low blow and tags out.
3-East comes in and hits Shock Therapy!
Payne breaks the count!
3-East goes nuts on Payne!
Payne gets dumped outside.
3-East comes off the top with a clothesline to Payne on the outside.
Sickness hits the Down Syndrome on Maximum inside.
3-East locks on the padded Walls of 3-East outside on Payne.
Back inside Sickness lands another Black Plague on Maximum and it gets the job done.
YOUR WINNERS: Sickness and 3-East via Black Plague in 12:25.
Post-match, the Asylum drops Payne with a belt shot.

Match #4: SWA World Heavyweight Champion Payne vs. ???

Payne comes out to face a member of the Forsaken.
Since there are only two here...
Well, maybe they have a new member.
Lethal comes out to announce.
And we await the mystery opponent.
Lethal's music hits.
Lethal: "Oh! It's me! No DQ!"
Payne looks rather... amused.
Payne can't stop laughing.
Payne backs Lethal into a corner and lets him out.
They lock up and Lethal backs Payne into a corner and celebrates.
Tie up, side headlock by Lethal.
Payne with a single leg sweep.
Payne is being a perfect gentleman here.
Then we starts wailing on Lethal.
Payne introduces Lethal into his knee.
Payne steps on Lethal's neck.
Italian back breaker.
Slam, two count.
Big suplex.
Hashimoto arm breaker.
Lethal reaches the ropes but Payne doesn't let go.
Why not? Oh yea, it's no DQ.
Payne starts laying in the ball shots.
Knee lifts in the corner.
Sit-out bulldog.
A couple of elbow drops.
Payne picks Lethal up and does some puppetry.
Lethal finally gets in some offense, a ball shot.
Clothesline takes the big man down.
Lethal stomps away.
Knee drop.
Clothesline over off the second rope.
Roll over cover gets two.
Lethal with a VICIOUS kick to the side of the head.
Arm drag out of the corner, into an armbar.
Cross arm breaker.
Payne gets to his feet while Lethal still has the arm breaker on!
Lethal sneaks in a drop kick to the knee.
Lethal with a dragon screw arm whip off the top rope.
Plancha into the ring onto Payne, two count only.
Lethal brings a chair in and works on Payne's knee.
Lethal looks for a side Russian leg sweep, but gets met with the Payneful Reality!
Reck's music hits and he comes out for "his scheduled title match."
He low blows Payne.
The ref says Lethal wasn't the official opponent, Reck is!
Reck with some shots and a flying clothesline and some stops.
Half crab.
Payne breaks out with the ultra-scientific ball shot.
He takes control with some back splashes.
Two count.
Payne continues to apply the pressure.
Payne chokes Reck on the top rope while staring down Lethal.
Lethal comes in, and quickly gets dumped back out.
Reck chokes down Payne with his shirt.
The ref checks the arm, but it doesn't drop the third time.
Jaw jacker by Payne.
Lethal comes in and lands the Superkick!
Payne kicks out!
DDT, seated drop kick, stomps.
Payne catches Reck coming in and puts him in a head scissors.
Lethal comes in and gets a free testicle massage.
Payne hits the Worst Finishing Move Ever.
It gets a one.
Double noggin knocker.
Double testicle massage.
Big choke slam on Reck!
Big choke slam on Lethal!
Payne covers Lethal, but he's not legal.
He crawls over and covers Reck but he kicks out at the two.
Payne with a blatant two hand choke.
Lethal brains him with the chair
Distorted Filth Box!
New champ!
YOUR WINNER AND NEW SWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: Reck via Distorted Filth Box in 19:04.
Postmatch, the Forsaken celebrate.

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