WILL: Ok. This is the last one. I still don't get why you didn't just hire moving guys. GRACE: I think we did fine on our own. WILL: I know, but...moving guys are hot. GRACE: How come your fireplace works? WILL: Because I'm sleeping with the president of the tenants' association. GRACE: That's you. WILL: Yes, and I'm tender but rough when I need to be. GRACE: I already got some of that. You know what they say about dim sum, I'll have dim sum... And dim some more! WILL: Why can't life be like this? Why can't they bring around cart with guys on little plates? That way you could sample a little, before you committed to a whole one. This one's too spicy, this one's too mealy. I'm gonna hate myself in the morning for eating that one. JACK: Commandment number one in the gay bible-- thou shalt not covet my ex's ass! WILL: Jack-- Is that from the book of Genesissy? JACK: Excuse me. In a rush! I'm meeting Rory at the Mandy Bar. You remember Rory. Yeah, He's the friend that never slept with any of my boyfriends. WILL: Jack, if I'm supposed to stay away from every guy you've ever slept with, that would leave me with... women. WILL: Hey, hey, hey, there was a time when I was a boob man. 'Course it ended when my mom switched to formula, but... WILL: Sorry for all these interruptions. I promise Grace will not be coming back. You wanna watch some TV, or do you wanna save that for 2 years from now when we have nothing to say to each other? WILL: What is the number one rule in the Will and Grace rule book? GRACE: No white belts? WILL: No. Incorrect. It's God help the sister that comes between me and my mister. WILL: Come on, Jack. You know the old saying: give Jack a fish, he eats for a day. Teach Jack to fish, he brings home a fisherman. WILL: It's just so weird, you know? It's exactly 4 years ago today that I moved into this office, and here I am closing it down. GRACE: It is weird. It's also wrong. You moved in the height of summer, remember? The window was open, and we thought it smelled like wet wool on a dead man. WILL: Ah, yes. The new scent by Decay-NY. JACK: Guess what. I've been promoted to captain at my catering company, and tonight I'm supervising an event at the Waldorf-Astoria. I will have 8 men under me. How great is that? WILL: 8 men? What'd you do, write the Gay Make A Wish Foundation? WILL: Jack, a monkey can do your job, providing he had a tux and a lisp. WILL: Jack's just in my wardrobe trying to find the perfect coming out-fit. WILL: I think it's his Fire Island mating call. WILL: It is time for you to grow up. [PUSHING JACK TOWARDS THE DOOR] You're gonna open that door... Be a man... And tell your mom you sleep with guys. JACK: Oh, my god! The day I've been waiting for has finally arrived. WILL: Congratulations, Jack! I wish you a long, happy life as a woman. WILL: Actually, I think what might be throwing off the whole room is all these boxes. You've been here six months already. Decorator, unpack thyself. WILL: Martha Stewart Living? Let me explain my people to you. Um...we enjoy, but are not turned on by the perfect scone. WILL: I feel like I'm having sex with a woman, and, uh, as a gay man, let's just say there are things there that I wish weren't there, um, and, one thing that isn't there that I really kind of miss. GEORGE: Shh-shh-shh! Please don't make a scene. WILL: I don't make scenes! Mom makes scenes! I don't make scenes! Oh, my God. I'm two highballs and a tight dress away from being Mom. GRACE: Josh gave it to me. It's a Chinese serenity symbol. It means "earth and air united as one." WILL: We have a similar symbol in my culture. It's called, "cheap little stone hanging on a string." WILL: You know what? No, I'm not gonna do this. Blind dates are a nightmare. It always ends up being with some guy who keeps yapping on about his two cats while I spend the whole night trying to figure out a way to get out of there by faking my own death. JACK: Excuse me, mother superior. It just so happens that I've met many fine young lovelies on blind dates. WILL: I'm talking about blind dates, not blindfolded dates. JACK: Because I'm an expert. Will, I go on literally thousands of dates a year. WILL: That doesn't make you an expert, that makes you an escort. JACK: Well, you know why we're blocked. 'Cause heterosexual marriage is just wrong. I mean, if God had intended man and woman to be together, he would've given them both penises. WILL: I believe I heard Pope Ru Paul II say that. WILL: Oh, my God. It's finally happened. You've gotten so gay, you've looped around to straight again. WILL: So how's it going for you, Sleep-Around-Sue? GRACE: What happened to minx? WILL: I'm saving that for just the right moment. Minx. For Season 1. For Season 3.

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