| Magic Knight Rayearth: First Times By Buni - 2/6/02 OCC: 1/5 (it's an alternate universe fic) Idea: 0/5 Plot: 0/5 Excessive Author's Notes: 16/5 Over All: -5/5 Ahaha...I'm sick and bored so I went looking for stories to read for entertainment. *sighs* Isn't being sick punishment enough?!?! Obviously, the Holy Orange doesn't think so. Ahaha...the first Author's Note is incredibly...funny...but so stupid...ugh... Author’s notes (With added disclaimer): First time (he he) doing a MKR fic, so please be nice and review. No flames please. Well you wanted reviews, beggars can't be choosers. It really pisses me off when first time authors think they can get out of bad reviews with some sort of sympathy wave. *shakes head* Now, this is an alternative story, which makes it more different. No Cefiro, no Debonair… It's spelled C-E-P-H-I-R-O. Crimany, it's not that hard to learning the spelling of Cephiro. The undistinguishable and unfamiliar characters, places etc. all belong to me (I think…), Ahaa...it thinks... all characters belong to CLAMP, Mokona Apapa, etc. etc… Hope you all like it and enjoy!!! What's the point of mentioning *one* of the members of CLAMP when you have *already* mentioned CLAMP in whole? Plus, isn’t Mokona’s last name “Apa”? (I stand corrected by Seiji. It *is* "Apapa". *strangles her resources*) And I'm not enjoying... The story begins with Hikaru, Umi, and Fuu walking to school together (apparently, they attend the same school now) along with various other MKR characters. Half of the paragraph IS Author's Notes. @_@ Yeah...people really want to read your fic after reading all your comments...Through out the whole story the author tells what the scene is- I absolutely hate that! This is a story- not a play write! “I wonder what’s my lunch today…” Umi asked inattentively, staring up the blue sky. I understand that this is an alternate universe fic but- is it too hard to keep the characters somewhat in their personality range?! There are a few more lines of dialog, some Authors Notes, and even more lines of dialog. The Author informs us later that the girls attend the same high school and are in "2nd year high". Erm...I guess the author isn't aware that they can go back and edit their story and add more information. In the next scene, "Principal" Zagato asks teacher Emeraude to come down to his office. Emeraude agrees and just leaves her class asking them to behave while she's gone. o___o When in hell did teachers just get up and leave when its obvious that the administrator probably has some long conversation planned?!?! As soon as the two superiors left, babble broke out in the class. The school heartthrob, Lantis, was talking to his friends Eagle, Ferio, Ascot, Lafarga and Clef (who was as tall in the OVA), Hikaru to Umi and Fuu, Prescea to Caldina and Alcione. Beautiful isn't it? Presea. Ahha...school heat throb Lanits- woohoo! The next lines of dialog include the author rambling on about how to spell "Kailu" and then a listing of couples. o_o Good God!! “Well…” Hikaru started to say. “Well?” “Well…” “Well?” “Well…” “Well?” “Well…” *falls over dead* The large text of dialog between everyone is about how Lantis and Hikaru should be together and finding out if the two like each other. “LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” a shriek was heard from behind. Why does that remind me of Relena Peacecraft? “Well, clearly it isn’t my fault. Primera hugged me for too long that it already put marks on my perfectly good uniform!!!!” he stated. Primera winced. And here is lovely Lantis in OCC land. For those of you who don't know, Lantis is a quiet man who wouldn't give a damn about having marks on his uniform. That line just made him sound like Umi. x.x ***Umi, Fuu and Hikaru…*** “I just heard the ‘well’ word again!!!!!” Umi shrieked. She grabbed Fuu’s and Hikaru’s wrists and dragged them off to Lantis and the others. ***The scene…*** Yeah...that scene was long.. o__o The only humorous in character part is when Umi is thumping around because everyone keeps saying "well". The chapter ends with Umi dragging Fuu and Hikaru off. Oh, isn't this a lovely surprise...all the reviews are good reviews. *sighs* Stupid brain dead people... DEATH TO ALL WHO SUPPORT BAD FANFICS!! *crushes with tissue box* |