| Pokemon: A Pokemony Journey By: Saru 1/25/02 It appears I've caught Buni's curse of finding bad fanfiction. First try, first fic I find, it's this one. -_- Lucky lucky me. Layout: -20 - THIS IRKS ME SO MUCH I CANNOT STAND IT!!!! He did this a little bit at the end...If he would've done it the whole time, it'd have been MUCH better and easier to read. 'prepare for trouble''make it double' Please please PLEASE tell me this boy knows how to use a keyboard. There's a little thingy...called the SHIFT KEY that makes REAL quotation marks..and that ENTER key...wow...What an invention! >__< Not to mention that he has 3 chapters on ONE PAGE and it didn't take me more than 10 minutes to read the whole thing. Characters: +4 - a point off for Mary-Jane/Sue-ness. I know that Pokemon is a game and people may want to write about their experiances as a "trainer", but just don't put it along with people in the show! Todd is NOT in any of the games. Why on earth you would have him in here, is beyond me. If you like Todd, make a Todd fic...have him meet up with Ash, Misty, and Brock again. Just don't put games with the anime. Another major irk to me. But otherwise, Todd, Prof. Oak, and Team Rocket were pretty well written. In character at least Grammar: -5 - Sorry, but the whole " " and enter key thing goes with grammar too. I hate to see what he writes in English...*shudder* Spelling: + 3 - Pokemony..^^;; Yeah..I can't see making that mistake..if it was a mistake. @_@ the n key is pretty damn far from the y key...so...I only took off 2 points ^^ Extra Points? : -10 - This has been done to DEATH. Even I'M tired of seeing it. Boy embarks on Pokemon journey, makes new friends, encounters Team Rocket, beats all odds. I mean, please, I LOVE originality. even if you got -s on everything else, if it's original, I'll give you the 10 points, but this wasn't. It was basically the first 3 episodes of Pokemon the anime. Please, you can be inspired by episodes, just don't do them over and not change anything! The only thing changed was the fact that "Ash" (Todd in this story) met Jim instead of Misty. And Team Rocket breaking into Oak's lab. And I would've liked more Meowth...He's not one to just let Jessie and James do everything! Overall: 72 points - The characters are themselves. That's about the only thing that kept this guy's head above the water. (FYI: I'm the ultimate in Pokemon fan. So, if I sound pompous and arrogant about Pokemon at times, it's because I am :D) |