An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building" The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."The blond opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."

The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.The blond opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."Everyone turned and stared at the blond's wife.............are you ready for it?...................."Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch."

*****

There was a brunette standing along side a busy road chanting "88, 88, 88, 88..." until a blonde came up to her and said, "That looks like fun, can I try?" The brunette said sure so the blonde chanted, "88, 88, 88, 88.." "Well," said the brunette, "That is fun. But what is even more fun is if you say it in the middle of the street" So the blonde said "OK" and stood in the middle of the street. "88, 88, 88, 88-" BAM! she was run over by a car, completely flattened. Along the side of the road, the brunette began to chant, "89, 89, 89, 89...

*****

A blonde tried to sell her old car. But she was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde," why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."

*****

A blonde and a brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana. They decide they need a bull to mate with their cows to increase their herd. The brunette takes their life savings of $600 dollars and goes to Texas to buy a bull. She eventually meets with an old cowboy that will sell her a bull. "It's the only one I got for $599, take it or leave it." She buys the bull and goes to the local telegram office and says, "I'd like to send a telegram to my friend in Louisiana that says: Have found the stud bull for our ranch, bring the trailer." The man behind the counter tells her, "Telegrams to anywhere in the U.S. are $. 75 per word." She thinks about it for a moment and decides. "I'd like to send one word, please." "And what word would that be?" inquires the man. "Comfortable," replies the brunette. The man asks, "I'm sorry miss, but is your friend gonna understand this telegram?" The brunette replies, "My friend is blonde and reads REAL slow, when she gets this, she will see COM-FOR-DA-BULL."

*****

SHE WAS SO BLONDE...

-She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

-She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

-She sold the car for gas money.

-She studied for a blood test and failed.

-She thought a quarterback was a refund.

-She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.

-She thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

-She thought Taco Bell was where you pay your phone bill.

-She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK".

-She tried to alphabetize M&M's.

-She tried to drown a fish.

- If you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back.

They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

-Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."

-She tripped over a cordless phone.

-She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

-It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

-If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speachless.

-When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

-She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

-When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

-When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.