We pay taxes, my friends, and what for? To feed the gluttonous belly of the senile Emperor! To buy new carpets for his gilded floors in his marble palace, while the roads in our own province turn to mud every spring. To hire guards for the cities, where they protect the battle pits and the whorehouses, while our people are harassed by bandits and orcs on those muddy roads!

Fort Urala! What does it do? Guard us against the trees? That never-seen border threat I've heard of… does anyone know what it is? Does anyone really believe that the troops in that fort could get to your village before it was burned and razed to the ground? It's an Imperial money-sink, an excuse to levy more taxes and a safe job for Imperial officers who are too old to do anything else.

And when the troops do come to town, then what? Kill your chickens, eat your dried apples, seduce your children and where? In your own home! Because to refuse to house an Imperial soldier is an offense against the Empire. I tell you, these soldiers are offenses against the Empire!

Now I don't mean poor Billy Tucker, who got pulled in by an Imperial levy. Drug off his mother's farm for five years of service, service with hard-drinking, womanizing men bent on turning poor Billy from an honest, hard-working kid to a callous imperial thug. Poor Billy Tucker! Poor John Smithson! And poor Adam and Charlie and all the rest, swallowed by the Imperial War Machine…

That does what? It doesn't put down the bandits. Nah, that'd be hard work. It doesn't chase after the orcs in the hills – too dangerous, I guess. We'll leave that to the miner's kids. Oh, the Elven Menace! How could I forget those terrible woodland savages, waiting to burst of the Legasha, the Kangrel and massacre all humankind!

Ever talk to an elf? A real one? I have, and here I am to tell the tale. Let me tell you, they are just as sick of Imperial waste and violence as I am. If they didn't have those Imperial forts squatting down outside of their lands, the forests they've been living in since time began, why, they'd be right friendly. How would you feel, sir, you ma'am, if armed guards sat outside your home and poked you with a sword every time you went outside to feed your chickens? You'd be pretty hostile, wouldn't you? I sure would be. But take away those armed guards, why, and I'm as sweet as fresh ripe fruit. C'mon, folks, think about it from their side.

That's right, we're on the same side! Against Imperial waste, Imperial corruption. We want to live decent, clean lives, away from the filth and squalor of those decadent cities. Hard-working men and women and elves, who know it's wrong to clap another being in chains to have him do your work for you. We're not afraid of work out here! We're not afraid of working hard for what's right! We're not afraid of standing up for the right, against the evil Empire! Citizens for a Free Urala, Unite!

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