This page is appropriately dedicated to the three weirdest people in Rokugan:
Ide Tadaji - the Unicorn who couldn't ride.
Hida Sukune - the Crab who shouldn't fight.
Bayushi Yojiro - the Scorpion who wouldn't lie.
"But I don't even LIKE rice!"
Quotes from the Peacock Brigade
"How typical. The one moment we aren't around to protect the Emperor, he gets himself killed." / Kuni Gotaro, gunso of the Imperial Guard
"See that tall guy in the mask? That's the daimyo of the Badger Clan. I wonder who the blond one is..." / Hida Kagemura, re: Bayushi Shoju and Akodo Toturi. Talk about your botched Heraldry roll...
"It was my fault." / Togashi Akagi. This unfortunate attack of acute honesty eventually led to the seppuku of the Peacock Brigade's first commander, Matsu Togawa.
"I did not eavesdrop. I merely happened to overhear their conversation." / Togashi Yodan
"I don't think the spirits of Earth want to talk to me today." / Soshi Kabu, after his failed attempt to commune with the earth spirits attracted the attention of a passing oni.
"You can tell my father that... oops." / Shiba Wateru, talking to Oni no Genso.
"No, wait, I don't have an army, do I..." (screeching halt) / The one and only Hida Kagemura, charging 70 000 Scorpions all by himself. Not a good idea.
"Who's Isawa Morito?" "Nobody you ought to know about!" / Togashi Yodan and Soshi Kabu, re: Scorpion assassination plots.
"What is that old fool doing here?" / Soshi Kabu, re: his family daimyo.
"You're not at all what you seem, are you, Yodan?" / Shiba Wateru.
"Please, don't force me to hurt you..." / Togashi Yodan (small, 16-year-old Dragon brat) to Hida Kagemura (6'-tall, bulky Hida bushi)
"The Fortunes may be on their side, but Shinjo Mataemon is on ours!" / Hida Kagemura, suffering a severe attack of hero-worship.
"Tea, anyone?" / Doji Ririko, again and again and again...
"You appear to have greater freedom of movement. Would you mind fetching me a bucket of sewer water?" / Soshi Kabu to a lovely young Crane courtier.
"It appears that the Crane took the back way OUT for once..." "Yeah, and they let the Scorpions get in instead..." / Hida Kagemura and Akodo Geshuto
"What killed the Emperor?" "A sword." / Soshi Kabu, talking to the spirits of Earth (who are very literal-minded).
"I have only one thing to say... (draws deep breath) ...ZAKENNAYO!" / Kuni Gotaro
"You may come out now." / Moto Asham, upon letting the Peacock Brigade out of the dungeon where they had been imprisoned for the past week.
"What brings you to Shiro Mirumoto?" "I'm looking for a woman." "Well, you're in luck. There's an excellent tea house just down the street..." / A Mirumoto house guard and Hida Kagemura (who was looking for his long-lost betrothed, not a geisha)
"I don't see myself as being guided by the Fortunes, unless there's a Fortune of Weird Dreams." / Shiba Wateru
"He's got relatives in the wrong places." "In the Crane Clan?" "No, nothing that bad..." / Hida Kagemura and Hiruma Katiko
"Ah, the traitor and the former Lion... welcome to Hell." "Thank you, but we've been here before." / Shosuro Taberu and Soshi Kabu
"It's got one minute to impress me, then I'll shoot it!" / Moto Asham, re: the Qamar.
"I want to gut him!" "I want to fry him!" / Hida Kagemura and Kuni Itoshi, who were really upset when Kuni Yori wouldn't allow them to duel.
"So you brought us here because you want Wateru to serve your wicked ends?" "That's about right, yes." "Good. Let us go, or I'll slit his throat." / Doji Ririko, the "innocent" Crane courtier, and Shiba Nakago, the maho-tsukai.
"These people are holding my horse hostage! We have to save him!" / Moto Asham, visibly upset for the first time in his life.
"I'm afraid we may have to speak with an unseemly amount of candor..." / Kuni Gotaro
"Honesty is a virtue... just not a very healthy one." / Moto Asham
"I'll follow you anywhere, Hayashimo-sama... at least until I get that horse back!" / Bayushi Ayeka
"Fujizaka-san, have you been taking lessons from Tangen?" / Shiba Wateru, upon hearing Hida Fujizaka say something he really shouldn't.
"Mommy!" / Bayushi Ayeka, meeting her first Oni no Kyoso.
"Cheer up, people. It's always darkest just before dawn." "That's as may be, but it can also be quite dark just after dusk..." / Shiba Wateru and Bayushi Shoju, re: optimism.
"You think you've suffered? I've been stuck in this miserable village for eighteen months, trying to train these clumsy peasants into soldiers..." / Akodo Geshuto
Quotes from other sources
"My brother did WHAT?" / Bayushi Shoju, re: the aforementioned army of Scorpions.
"And get that shugenja out of the bushes." / Bayushi Shoju
"This might come in handy." / Shinjo Mataemon, carrying a half-dead, bleeding maho-tsukai over his shoulder.
"We are disorganized, unprepared, and outnumbered seven to one... so, yes, our situation is desperate." / Akodo Toturi
"I suppose we could tell the other clans that this is all an unfortunate misunderstanding... but do you think they would believe us?" / Bayushi Yojiro
"I wish I had your faith in me." / Shinjo Mataemon, re: Kagemura's statement above...
"I did not insult your wife! All I said was that my cousin was never married to her mother!" / Kuni Itoshi, re: family matters.
"I suppose there's a very good reason why my former student is pretending to be his own cousin, and this Kuni witch-hunter is pretending to be a heimin and buying weapons for a Bayushi pretending to be a Doji." / Hida Katsu
"You shouldn't do such things to Yojiro. He's a courtier. Courtiers are very delicate." / Bayushi Tangen
"Only a Crab knows how to handle a tetsubo..." / Hida Katiko
Quotes from another campaign
"They don't think we're stupid enough to try to move through the Shadowlands at night. So if we do exactly that, we'll take them by surprise." "A clever plan, my lord." / Hida Yakamo and Shinjo Yuriko, discussing tactics.
"Blood is only redder than water." / Bayushi Sugai, re: his aunt Kachiko.
"Zakennayo!" / Kuni Mashito
"Old man, I have nothing but the greatest respect for your age and wisdom, and I deeply appreciate everything you've done for us. But if you ever do anything like that again, I'll hit you so hard you'll be reborn as an invalid!" / Shinjo Yuriko
"Run!" / Kakita Yinko
(It's been pointed out to me that this quote deserves an explanation. At the time, Yinko had just encountered his first dragon (of the elemental variety) halfway down a pond. An unnerving experience, even for a brave Crane bushi...)
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