I'm sure by now, pretty much everyone has heard that global warming is occurring and will eventually cause an ice age that will kill the human race. The propaganda film The Day After Tomorrow gives all the information on how an ice age is going to start the day after tomorrow, kill everyone who doesn't live on the Equator, and destroy the future of civilization.
First of all, there is no direct proof of global warming even occurring, let alone due to human activities. Second, no one gives a shit.
You may be wondering: "How will global warming start an ice age?" Simple. Global warming melts the polar ice caps causing desalinization of water, causing salt currents in the ocean to stop/reverse. This would set of a major climate shift which could cause an ice age.
You may also be wondering, "How could an ice age occur the day after tomorrow?" Because I'm a crazy mad scientist building an ice-age-machine so I can freeze all of the hippies crying about global warming.
Even if an ice age were to occur, it would take thousands of years. Hundreds just for the planet to heat up enough, hundreds more to melt all the ice, hundreds more to desalinate the ocean, (which is impossible anyway considering that there will always be a salt concentration no matter how much fresh water is added, let alone the fact that there isn't enough ice to begin with. Also, if more fresh water is added to the ocean, the sea level will rise, covering more land area, BRINGING MORE SALT INTO THE OCEAN), hundreds for a climate shift, hundreds for temperatures to drop, and thousands for glaciers to take over our land. When that happens, the sea level will fall, GIVING US MORE FUCKING LAND AREA. So even if you assume the worst, it will hardly affect anyone.
Now there are all these people bitching that Hurricane Katrina and other natural disasters are a direct result of global warming. Yeah, either that or hurricanes have been occurring there for thousands of years. New Orleans was built under a dam. One of the many hurricanes that come each year broke it, despite warnings about the dam's weakness for decades, and the city flooded. The hype about global warming affected nothing, you assholes. The only reason people are starting to blame global warming on everything is that the news corporations need stories to put on TV to make money, and all of the docile, weak-minded individuals that take everything they see on TV as gospel, took something they saw on TV as gospel.
I have a question for you hippies. If we were in an ice age now, and global warming occurred, melting glaciers and ice caps, etc., wouldn't that just be giving the Earth more habitable land area? So how is it any different now? It wouldn't start an ice age then, nor would it now. It would only end it.
Either way, the sea level, and the position of polar glaciers is inversely proportional, meaning if the sea level rises, the glaciers retreat, and vice versa. So we will always have enough land area.
So anyway, even if another ice age hits the Earth, we will lose some coastal land and have to live near the Equator. Who cares? It beats living here. It's not like we won't be able to go back again, let alone survive.
There are the only four possibilities of human future:
- We regress, meaning we stop emitting greenhouse gasses because we lose the capacity for it.
- We progress, meaning we find a simple solution in the future, such as space colonies, in addition to the land we will already have, a big vacuum that sucks all the greenhouse gasses out of the atmosphere, or anything else your mind can think up. Global warming will be a non-issue if we progress.
- We remain at the status we are at now, meaning we start a war with all nations and nuke the hell out of the planet, rendering the issue of global warming to nothingness.
- We get destroyed by a giant alien laser beam.
Go Back
Updated: 7/21/06.
© 2006 Scalping People
Email Me Dammit