Self Injury is NOT- an act of Suicide

Family and Friends

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Its ok to cry Its ok to feel scared Its ok to feel worried Its ok to feel angry Its ok to feel hurt Its ok to feel upset Its ok to react It can be natural to feel alone It can be natural to feel you cannot cope

The person who self injures does not intend to hurt those around them.  It is not a personal attack on you - its a personal attack on themselves.  It is ok to feel annoyed, upset or angry etc but its important not to project your anger on to the person who self injures.

Try to stay calm Try to be open minded Try to have patience Try to understand Try to listen Try to let them know you care Try to give support Try to stay in control of yourself Try to stay positive

Self Injury is NOT -  egotistic attention seeking

Give support by- LISTENING

The person who self injures is not looking for answers - not from you.  The only answers we will find are from within ourselves.

There is no magical cure.  This is a problem that you cannot "make better".  It is a positive step when a self injurer seeks advice from a doctor.  They may be put on Anti-depressants or be given some form of therapy/counselling.  This is not always necessary.  By allowing your friend or child to talk out in the open about how they are feeling, can be of great benefit to them.  Give them options.  Allow them to be in control.

How do I approach someone if I think they self injure?

Very cautiously.  Let them know you believe what they tell you, that you trust them- even though it may not be the truth.  They need to know that you are not going to be mad or disappointed with them.  Self injury is not an act that alot of people feel outwardly proud of.  There can be alot of shame surrounding it and guilty feelings, as they can often feel their actions hurt the ones they love.

Should I take away their razors and keep away other sharp objects?

If you were to do this - you are taking away the self injurers "control".  It can be very hard and frustrating for them.  A person who self injures does not need instruments to injure, if you had read the first page on self injury, you would realise that self injury happens in many forms - you cannot stop a person who injures, from injuring.  They are the only people who can stop harming themselves.

What are urges or triggers?

Urges are a strong feeling of wishing to harm oneself.  Its like "buying an item on impulse" - the feeling of wishing to injure on impulse.  It is possible to control these urges, but it is very difficult.  Sometimes it can feel as though the urges are controlling the person who self injures.  Triggers are eg.something that may give the person the desire to injure - it gives the person an URGE to injure.  These triggers can range from feeling depressed, watching an upsetting movie, listening to a sad song, having an argument with someone - you can even be triggered by positive things.  It is very difficult to control triggers as many things in life are potential triggers.  If there are triggers that the person who self injures wishes to avoid, it is good to be aware of these and give support if and when they are triggered.

You are not alone It can seem like an awful lot is being asked of you.  An awful lot is being asked of you.  You may be the first person that has confronted your loved one or friend about this issue. If they are met with judgement from those who are supposed to love and care for them, they may be to scared to seek help from others. You cannot force the person who injures into receiving treatment - but if you are depressed due to this situation, you can seek treatment for yourself. The person who takes time to read this page and support and understand their friend/family member is someone that should be proud of themselves - its not easy when you are in a scary situation you dont quite understand.  There is a place in the main forum if you wish to ask questions directly - you are really welcome.  Please take care and we hope everything works out.