OK...so a wife ALWAYS knows when something is wrong, but sometimes she hides her head in the sand and pretends that everything's okay. I did this. I did it for a very, very, very long time. I did it knowing that his family had problems, knowing that he's ruined business (es).I did it knowing that sometimes he treated me like (excuse the _expression) sh*t and knowing that he was miserable.

1. FADE OUT....New scene...April (??) of 2002. I'm out shopping with my mother in law (we won't get into HER). Haven't heard from my husband in days maybe even a week. Things were hectic at home...had just settled a case (was in an automobile accident...hit head on...& my dumbass lawyer let it go to the very last minute...I switched lawyers at the 11th hour & got a halfway decent settlement...along with carpel tunnel, a herniated disc & bumps & bruises). I call his cell phone, as I had over & over & over again. A young "lady" answers the phone. I hang up...call again. Same young girl's voice picks it up again, only this time I ask for him & she hangs up. I wait a couple of hours & try again....same thing (wasn't she dumb to keep picking up the phone).

Later that evening...I call &.....HE answers. I ask who the female is. Now, you're gonna laugh at this one...he says "what female"? I tell him that I called earlier & some girl answered his phone. He says...are you ready....that he left the cell phone in his car in the parking lot at the hotel...UNLOCKED...& someone must have answered it. OK>...now I'm even laughing cause (1. why would they put it back???? 2. well...she did answer over & over again 3. oh, this whole thing is too dumb....).

HOLD on...I need to take a deep breath....this isn't easy for me....

I can't believe that I can look back on all of this and I laughing....

hmmmmm.....so how gullible am I really???? NOT!

ok...I'm ready...so...I tell him that this woman has answered the phone...over & over again during the day. I told him that it was the same voice, hour after hour and that she kept hanging up on me (oh, one time she did tell me that he wasn't there....I forgot that).

Admission of guilt.....(nope...just another story). Now...he tells me that she's his DRUG dealer and that part of the deal is that he's letting her use the car & cell phone in exchange for cocaine. Cocaine?????? What cocaine???? I never knew about any cocaine......oh...wait...there's one itsy bitsy thing that I forgot to tell...he'd been going through between $700-$1500 per week in money that he'd have NO RECEIPTS FOR & telling me that they were business expenses (ok...well...I really wasn't dumb enough to believe that...but once again...I looked the other way). So...now...he tells me that he has a $100 a day coke habit (geez....a few years ago it was a $700 per week gambling habit....guess he likes that 100 a day number....ez to remember).

Taking another deep breath....before the rest of chapter 2...............