All's Fair... by scheherezhad

Rating: PG-13 for a bit of slash

Author's Notes: There is a bit of slash in this (Percy/Oliver), so you've been warned.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or other recognizable bits, nor am I making money off of this.

Feedback: Please. Praise me, criticise me, outright flame me. I don't care; I just want to know what you really think. scheherezhad@yahoo.com

Two silent figures crept up to the last door along the tower stairs and pulled out their wands. They whispered the unlocking spell that would allow them entrance into the room. The first slipped in and motioned the other forward.

"Okay, coast is clear. Bring it in."

The second figure hauled in a bucket whose contents made a thick slopping noise. "He'll never see this one coming. We've not even let out a single clue that we found out how to unlock this door."

"This one will be priceless, George. Percy'll lay down to go to sleep and - bam! - he's covered in Honeyduke's chocolate." He high-fived his twin before climbing up onto the bed. "Pass me the bucket. I see the perfect place for it; it's out of sight, and it should hold it long enough..."

Fred put the bucket up on one of the canopy supports and arranged the curtains to hide it. He waited as George put a charm on it to keep it steady as he got off the bed, then they made a quick escape, carefully relocking the door amidst stifled laughter.

"Mm. Percy..." Oliver moaned against his soon-to-be lover's mouth. "Can't believe we finally got a moment alone. Wanted you so long..."

"I know." Percy kissed Oliver hard and turned to unlock his door. He fumbled and nearly dropped his wand when Oliver's hands wandered over his hips. They finally made it in the door, undressing one another hungrily.

Percy reluctantly pulled away to find lubricant, and Oliver backed over to the bed to lie down. An odd "glop" sound preceeded a surprised yell from Oliver; Percy froze. Afraid of what he was going to see, he slowly turned around.

Oliver was covered in chocolate.

The Gryffindor common room was buzzing merrily with the usual talk. Harry, Hermione, and Ron sat together in a corner, discussing homework. Ginny quietly observed as Dean tried to explain hockey to Seamus and Neville. The twins and Lee Jordan had their heads together over something no doubt mischievous. Then the entire room gradually went silent when Oliver appeared on the stairs, wearing nothing more than a towel and a generous coating of chocolate.

"Fred. George. Could I speak to you for a minute?"

The twins' smiles faded as they shared a fearful look.

"Err...Oliver, what--"

"--in the world happened to you?"

He simply shot them a withering glare. They only hesitated a moment before following him back up the stairs. The rest of the students in the common room looked at one another blankly for a second, and they began talking again.

Upstairs in the seventh years' room, Fred and George stood nervously before an irate Oliver. "Just what the bloody hell were you thinking, pulling that stunt?"

"We were aiming for Percy, you know," George offered.

"We didn't know...you would be, um, in his bed," Fred said.

"Naked."

Percy stormed in at that moment, ears and neck blazing red. He opened his mouth to begin a tirade, but Oliver held up a hand to stop him.

"I can handle them, Perce," he said tersely.

The elder Weasley's mouth snapped shut. He exhaled loudly, and a frown crossed his features. "Fine. I'll talk to you later, then." He turned to the twins. "I've owled mum about this stunt." And he left Oliver to deal with his brothers.

Later, Fred and George seemed properly chastised by whatever Oliver had said to them, and things soon went back to normal. No one but Percy, Oliver, and the twins knew what had really happened; everyone else assumed that the prank had been intended for the Quidditch captain in the first place. But Oliver was back on speaking terms with the twins, and Quidditch practices had resumed for the year, so all was forgotten. At the end of one practice, Oliver waved the team down to critique their performances.

Harry and his Nimbus were the first down, followed by Katie, Alicia, and Angelina. Fred and George captured the bludgers to return to the box before coming down. When they hit the grass, a small cloud of dust flew up around them.

Oliver was pointing out some of the Chasers' mistakes when Fred and George made it over. Both were clutching their stomachs and looking vaguely green.

"I don't--"

"--feel so good."

The rest of the team stopped to stare. When they spoke, their faces had started changing color, and it stopped when they quit speaking. Harry and the girls tried valiantly to stifle their laughter.

"What?" they asked in unison.

Their faces went from lilac to lime green with thin blue stripes.

"Um...you might want to take a look at your faces," Alicia suggested.

They turned to each other and let out yelps of surprise. "Oliver!"

Oliver held up his hands in denial. "I had nothing to do with this, I swear. Though I do admit, if I'd known you looked so fetching in violet, I might have tried something before." He couldn't help grinning as Fred and George stalked off to the locker room, muttering under their breath to one another.

"Come on, now, Oliver. Admit it was you, getting back at them for that chocolate prank," Katie said, eyes sparkling with mirth.

"Really, I didn't do it." He shook his head. "I'd like to know who did, though. I need to thank him."

As the team trudged to the locker rooms, a voice called to Oliver from around a corner. He waved the others on and turned to see Percy coming toward him, grinning like a maniac. The redhead took a quick look around, then flung his arms around Oliver's neck and kissed him soundly.

"You see what happened to your brothers, then?" Oliver asked, pulling back.

Percy grinned again. "Of course I saw it. Who do you think set it up in the first place?"