---
"Listen, Lupin, you've yet to take your turn. Dumbledore declared each and every eligible educator (save certain stunted shrimps) should provide the pompous, peonic peacock an amiable afternoon ambulatory and lunch in London," Severus Snape snarled snarkily.
Lupin looked on, a soft smile on sinfully luscious lips. Severus had ceased to scare him ages ago. "Now, now, I know I'm needed to oversee this obligatory outing." He paced patiently past the peeved professor. "I daren't dream of disappointing dear Dumbledore. Let Lockhart know nine is when we will leave for London."
Snape sneered at the departing Defense professor's perfect posterior.
---
Later, Lupin and Lockhart Disapparated directly for Forsythe's, an elegant eating establishment catering to the cream of the wealthy wizarding world. Luckily, Lupin had his hands on Hogwarts's Gringott's Gold credit card. Lockhart liked lunching at atrociously expensive eateries, and Dumbledore didn't discourage this horrid habit. He happened to sneakily support the blasted behavior.
Remus really resented being bade to take the man for a meal. Lockhart's lost memory may have held him from frankly flattening the obnoxious oaf's enormous ego, but barely. Obliviate obviously hadn't helped crush his cockiness, and any attempt at conversation couldn't but be led to Lockhart's life.
Lupin looked wearily at his watch and stifled a sigh. The witless waiter was taking too long bringing the bill by, and Lockhart lustily licked his fingers free of the day's dessert.
"Oh, one more minute thing, there," the idiot indicated.
Remus regretted raising his hazel eyes as Lockhart leaned in and locked lips with the lovely, luscious Lupin.
"At least you're not lacking in every area," the werewolf whispered when they parted, panting.
Gilderoy grinned. "Let's leave. I've rented a room," he hinted.
The teacher took the beseeching bait. "Sounds superb."
---
Only an hour later, Lupin and Lockhart leaned back in bed. Gilderoy gleamed with sweat and smelled of sex, and Remus growled gamely. "Ready for round two, Tiger?"
Gilderoy groaned. What had he gotten his gorgeous self stuck with?