Through the Looking Glass Dimly

Author: Lucysmom


Humor AU

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Wish I did., but Alliance does

Pairings : Fraser/F

Synopsis: Ray K finds himself enmeshed in a sticky situation with some vaguely familar literary characters.

For: Snowee who knows a good plot bunny when she sees one and also keeps us on the edge of that cliff

Ray Kowalski turned his sleep-dimmed head slowly. He could not move his arms which were

secured to the headboard. His ankles were also securely fastened to the foot of his bed. It was happening again. Did these people never sleep? Did all they do is think up ways of tormenting him?

Well, at least he wasn't gagged or blindfolded. That was something. He heard a noise. He turned his head toward the door. The door slowly opened and Huey and Dewey literally popped through the door. Only, it wasn't Huey and Dewey per se, it was Tweedle Dee Huey and Tweedle Dum Dewey who walked erratically toward him. Tweedle-Huey was swinging a bucket What the heck, none of the fanatics he knew were into Lewis Carrol. Was this someone new?. Just what he needed another crazy...Before he could complete his thought, Tweedle-Huey had dumped a bucketful of slimy disgusting oysters onto his body. Then the two blathered on about a Walrus and a Carpenter, in rhyme, no less . Ray shut his eyes and when he opened them, Dief was floating in the air above the bed, only it wasn't Dief, the half-wolf, it was Dief the Cheshire Something...the huge smile plastered on Dief's lupine face made Ray shiver or maybe it was the cold, disgusting oysters working their insidious slimy way through his well-worn, form-fitting T-shirt.

Suddenly the door flew open and a huge something squeezed it's way into the room. It was an... elephant. On it's back sat Fraser, only he wore a huge cardboard mockup of a Jack of Hearts. Behind him sat Snowee, well Ray thought it was Snownee. She was dressed in a blue dress, with a white pinafore, white knee socks, and black patent Mary Janes. She was waving a vorple blade. Okay, Ray didn't really know what a vorple blade was, but it sounded good.. Fraser slid effortlessly off the elephant's back, calling out: " Callow, Callay." , as he landed gracefully on the floor. He, ever the gentleman, gallantly offered his arm to Snowee so that she also might descend from the elephant. She sheathed the sword, so as not to harm Frazer and descended from the pachyderm. Ray tried to talk, but he found himself speechless. He could only sputter.

Fraser made his way stiffly over to the bed. Held his hand out to Snowee politely asked for the blade. Snowee handed it to him and with one deft motion he sliced through the bonds holding Ray's arms to the headboard. Of course, the Blade went: "SnickerSnack". Ray breathed out deeply, "Frase", he yelled: "What in Heaven's name is going on here?" . He cringed as Fraser once again raised the sword and sliced cleanly through the ropes securing Ray's legs. Ray bolted upright, spraying his rescuers with oysters and salty water.

Everyone turned toward the door where Meg Thatcher, The Red Queen stood, screaming: "off with their heads." She advanced formidably into the room.

This was too much for Ray he bolted towards the door where the real Ray Vecchio, dressed as the White Rabbit was inspecting his gloves, naturally. He opened the door and hordes of rabbits hopped into the room. Oh, my Gawd, plot bunnies. They were everywhere. Some were cute and adorable. Others were big and nasty-looking. Some had sharp teeth. Ray knew he had to get out of there. He also knew he could not leave his two friends behind to fend off all the evil plot bunnies. He waded back through the sea of bunnies, most cringed out of his way. But he did not hesitate to kick the aggressive one in the head as he determinedly made his way to Fraser and Snowee. He grabbed both their hands and dragged them across the room. Bunnies scattered left and right. They reached the door and Ray shoved both of them through the doorway. He threw himself through and leaned against the wall, breathing deeply as he found himself on the ledge of a precipice. He shut his eyes tightly. When he opened his eyes, the cliff was still there. He looked around to find Fraser dressed in a Red Star Trek uniform and Snowee looked fetching in Nurse Chappel's short uniform. Ray couldn't take it anymore. He ran to the edge of the cliff. He jumped, screaming:: "Leave me alone. Go pick on Krychek or Blair.. .or, or... There was silence as the person sitting at the computer terminal chuckled and Said: Gee, I didn't think he had it in him." She shut down that part of Word Perfect. Called up a clean screen and started inputting::

"Krychek turned his.........

No actual bunnies were hurt during the commissions of this work.