Abbey awoke slowly, stretching her hand over to feel for her husband. She sighed when she realized that he was gone. This had become an all too familiar morning ritual over the past month or so. Waking up naked and alone, without her husband to press up against. She thought about the previous night and many of the nights lately. Jed would slip into bed and roll away from her, only to toss and turn and finally roll back to face her, running his hand up her thigh,or over her stomach to cup her breast. Every night she promised herself she would turn away from him, but, instead, she would turn into his embrace and return his caresses. The silent, straining sex they shared in the dark was in no way the teasing, vocal, passionate lovemaking they usually shared, but since the press conference, Jed had retreated into himself and this was the only connection Abbey seemed to have with him and she was reluctant to part with that. It was as if, with his body joined with hers, he was not the brooding, bitter stranger he had become in the daylight hours. However, it only lasted for while they were joined as one. When it was over Jed would roll back to his side, leaving Abbey more lonely than ever. She longed for the cuddling and tender nuzzling they used to share as they both came down from the high.

Abbey wearily got out of bed and headed for the shower, hating herself for allowing this to continue. Jed was a man, and like most men, at times, he was ruled by a piece of his anatomy that was not his brain, or his heart. And, as long as she was allowing him to continue having sex with her, he would never really believe anything was that wrong between them. But, she thought, as she began to shampoo her hair, she missed the old Jed. The Jed who would join her in the shower and shampoo her hair for her, and inevitably make her late. The Jed who would have breakfast with her and the babies in the solarium, talking babytalk with his months old twins. That Jed had disappeared the day he made his decision to run again and in his place was this cold, indifferent man who was too busy to talk to her, to spend time with her and the babies, or to even make love with her properly. So, Abbey had begun to fill her schedule with more luncheon and dinner engagements, working around Nicholas and Aislinn's schedule, rather than Jed's.

***

Jed stood on the portico smoking a cigarette. It was a gorgeous sunny day and Abbey had brought Nicholas and Aislinn out for some sun and fresh air. He watched her pushing them around the gardens in their carriage. Watched her sit on one of the benches, kick her sandals off, and begin to push the carriage back and forth with her foot. She pulled a book out from the diaper bag and began to read, while absently playing with the gold crucifix around her neck. Any other time he would have joined her for a little while, but he knew she wouldn't welcome the intrusion. He just did not know what to say to her. He couldn't change what he had done and so he simply stayed where he was, feeling the gulf between them widen with each passing, silent moment.

He wasn't an idiot. He knew that despite her reluctant (yes, he knew it was reluctant) acceptance of his nightly caresses, she was still very upset with him, her anger always simmering under the surface of civility. She had told him once that men did not know the difference between sex and making love. He knew the difference all right. In a marriage as long as the one he and Abbey had shared, not every physical encounter was a sensual explosion. Sometimes it was just sex. But, never in their marriage, until now, had something like this gone on for an extended period of time. That just wasn't the way he and Abbey operated. Their usual modus operandi was to argue, yell and passionately make up. Neither carried a grudge and both were too verbose to engage in a silent treatment. Until recently, that is.

Jed knew he was shutting Abbey out, but for one of the few times in his life, he didn't know how to deal with a situation. He'd had an exhausting week of interview after interview with news magazines and many of the nation's major newspapers, in which he had to rehash his explanation of his disease and why he planned to run again. When he got home at the end of the day, he simply wanted to crash and relax, but there was Abbey, gently prodding him to explain it all to her. This had caused him to spend many of his evenings working in his private study to avoid looking at his wife and knowing what he owed her. He knew she had been totally against him running again, but had honestly believed she would come around and be able to support him. That was the subject of the argument they had later that evening.

On this night, he had chosen to read in their bedroom. Normally they snuggled together on the bed to read, but on this night he lay on the bed, while Abbey stretched out on the couch. He lay there stewing over their situation, merely skimming the article he had in front of him. All it took to set him off was Abbey's innocent comment telling him not to worry about agriculture because it was not exactly his field of expertise. She stood quietly listening to his tirade about just how, as President, agriculture had to be part of his expertise. His anger was not about agriculture and Abbey knew that, but, what had surprised her, was that he finally let it out that his anger was aimed at her. He was angry with her because he perceived her not to be behind him. She was stunned by these shocking turn of events. She understood the pressures and demands of Jed's job and had been patiently awaiting an explanation from him, when she could have been furiously demanding one. And did he appreciate that? No, he had the unmitigating NERVE to be angry with her.

Jed saw the look of absolute incredulity on Abbey's face when she told him she couldn't believe he was pissed at her. After which, her anger got the better of her and she let know exactly how she felt about his recent lack of communication and avoidance of her. Jed's frustration at having to discuss all this yet again, after the week of interviews set in, and he responded with a cool sarcasm that made Abbey wonder just exactly who this man sitting on their bed was. She glanced over at him where he lay reclined with a look of combined pain and disappointment in him in her eyes. Jed did not see that look as he was staring straight ahead, not even able to look at her, knowing the pain he was causing her. He did, however, hear her bitterly tell him to "Go to hell" as she exited the room.

***

As the evening wore on, Jed couldn't concentrate on his reading. He felt like a heel. He really had acted like the jackass Abbey had accused him of being. All she had asked was that he open up to her and he had reacted like a jerk. He finally rose to his feet and headed out to look for his wife. He found her in the nursery, sound asleep on the daybed. He moved closer to the bed watching her sleep.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered to her sleeping form. He then bent down to kiss her forehead. She stirred sleepily. "Abbey?"

"Mmmm," she murmured opening her eyes.

"Come to bed, sweets."

"Go away Jed," she said and rolled over to turn her back to him. Jed stood straight staring down at her for a long moment before he made his way back to his big empty bed.

"You really fucked up royally this time, Bartlet," he said to himself as he slid alone under the covers. "You've got only yourself to blame, you stupid jackass." He turned off the bedside lamp and began a sleepless night of tossing and turning.

***

A few days later, Abbey entered the residence to see Jed laying on the bed, stretched out on his side. Both Aislinn and Nicholas lay on their backs beside him, waving their tiny, pudgy legs in the air. He was reading the 'Three Little Bears' to them and while they didn't understand a word he said, they were gazing up at him with wide eyes, intrigued by their father's deep voice. Abbey smiled as she watched Aislinn reach a hand up to Jed's lips and he kissed his daughter's tiny fingers. How easy it was for her heart to melt for this man. To be thankful for the hundredth time that he was the father of her children. Jed looked up and saw her standing in the doorway and smiled.

"Do you realize that when we go to New Hampshire Thursday morning, it will be the first time I've been back there with these guys? The last time I was there you were still pregnant."

"I'm not going on Thursday," Abbey said quietly.

"What do you mean you're not going?" he asked stunned. If she was so upset, she wouldn't be there for his kick off rally, he knew his campaign was over before it even started.

"I didn't say I wasn't going. I said I wasn't going Thursday. I'm going to the ballet with Zoey and Ellie Thursday night, and we'll all fly up Friday."

"So, no photo-ops," he said coldly. "You planned that well, Abigail. Is that supposed to be some type of payback?"

"Jed, that isn't why...No...you know what, if that is what you want to believe then you just go ahead and believe that," she turned and walked out the door, slamming it behind her.

***

Leo gazed out the window at the picturesque New Hampshire countryside as he pulled into the driveway of the Bartlet farm. He found Jed down by the cow pasture leaning on a pick up truck and smoking a cigarette.He was in a foul mood but Leo understood why that was so. The staff had not completely forgiven him for keeping his secret, Democrats were jumping ship in a panic and questioning his judgement in running again, subpoenas to his staff and family members would soon be sent out and, most significantly, Abbey had not accompanied him to the farm. Leo began to wonder if he had made a mistake in pushing Jed so hard to run again. Maybe all this turmoil was not good for him physically or emotionally. Maybe he would be better off returning with his young family to this beautiful, serene place. However, when he suggested such a scenario to Jed, he saw something that he hadn't seen in this man the first time around. Total defiant confidence.

"Screw em' all, Leo," he said his voice tinged with bitterness, "like I said before, I'm running again and I'm gonna win." Leo looked at his oldest friend and realized, yet again, that despite his genial, good natured manner, underneath it all Jed Bartlet was a force to be reckoned with.

***

Abbey arrived at the farm with her daughters by her side and a baby in each arm. CJ couldn't help but wish that had been the picture coming off Air Force One with the President. But, everyone knew there was very real tension between the First Lady and the President. Tension nobody had dared allude to. Jed Bartlet had made it very clear in that first presidential campaign that his marriage and his family were off limits, separate from the campaign and his job. He had kept this insistence in the White House. CJ watched the President approach the car hugging each of his daughters and turning to Abbey. He ran his hand over her shoulder and took one of the babies from her. It was amazing to CJ that even with things so bad between them there was some kind of thread of emotion that seemed to hold them together. They had a bond that nothing could break. That bond was evident in their home. She loved the Bartlet home, because that was what it was, a home, not a house. Despite the antiques and fine old carpets and furniture, it was the home of a family and reflected that family. There were bookshelves and books in almost every room, evidence of the Bartlets' love of reading and revealing their eclectic taste. From old college textbooks, to philosophy, to religion, to classics, to mysteries and to Abbey's childhood books that she had kept and passed on to her daughters. 'Black Beauty', 'Anne of Green Gables', 'The Bobbsey Twins', 'The Secret Garden', they were all here. CJ envied the Bartlet girls that library. And, speaking of the Bartlet girls, they were everywhere. Pictures of the growing family graced almost every table and wall. Pictures from Jed and Abbey's wedding, of the girls as babies, then toddlers and first days of school, to sporting events and graduations. The family at the beach and at picnics. Governor Bartlet dancing with his young daughters at his Inaugurations. And always, when Jed and Abbey's eyes rested on each other, the love that came shining through was almost luminous, and sometimes so intimate it made CJ blush. Yes, this couple had a bond that could not be broken and CJ knew they would make it through this rough spot.

***

For her part, Abbey studiously avoided Jed's senior staff. There was still a residual bitterness that she felt in knowing they had persuaded her husband to go against the deal she had made with him. She knew it was foolish but somehow she felt that Jed had chosen them over her and she wasn't ready yet to be part of that inner circle again. So, while they prepared speeches and strategized in her kitchen, Abbey spent the time hiking and riding horseback with her older daughters and taking long walks down the lane with the babies. But when it came time to do her duty and play the perfect political wife by introducing her husband, New Hampshire's greatest son, to the crowd, she did so like the seasoned pro she was. But, what scared Abbey most about all of this, was the fact that she and Jed had never had to act the part of the happily married couple. Everything between them had always been genuine. But that afternoon when she had smiled and kissed Jed in front of the crowd and TV cameras, she had felt like a fraud. While, she still felt undeniable pride in her husband as she listed his accomplishments and listened to the crowd cheer for him, there was a rift between them that could not be healed by one political kiss for the crowd. She felt a horrible sadness overtake her as she stood in the background where she had stood so many times before and she knew she could not continue to on like this. To live with this kind of coolness and tension between she and Jed. She could not take a whole campaign like this. Jed was running again and she had to find a way to accept that and live with it. She knew she had to find a way to make things better between them, but, on the other hand, with Jed's attitude being what it was, she had to wonder if any of this would even matter to him at all. Had he become so obsessed with winning re-election that she and the kids had ceased to matter to him? She had to fight back the tears when that thought had penetrated her mind.

***

Later that night Abbey slid into bed, having spent over an hour comforting her son, who was cutting his first tooth.

"Nicky OK?" Jed asked, running a hand over her hip.

"Yeah, he's running a little fever so I gave him some Tylenol."

"Mmm," he murmured and his hand moved from her hip to caress her belly. Abbey knew exactly where this was going. Jed always fed off a crowd with a major adrenaline rush that never failed to raise his testosterone level. She had always referred to it as his rockstar syndrome because he came off that podium as randy as all get out. The sex after the Democratic National Convention had been incredible. But, Abbey wasn't going for any of that now.

"Not tonight Jed," she said tightly, and removed his hand from her belly. Jed sighed with frustration and rolled over, turning his back to her. Abbey felt the silent, warm tears trickle from the corner of her eyes to her pillow.

**

The next morning when Jed awoke, Abbey was gone. He moved sleepily to the window and saw her riding horseback over the fields, her blazing auburn hair flying out behind her. He knew how much she had always loved the freedom of these early morning rides. He watched her for a while before moving to take a quick shower. He came out of the shower toweling off his wet hair and moved to the closet. As he fished for a shirt, he looked at Abbey's side of the closet. He saw her white lab coats, the piles of her scrubs on the shelf, the black leather jackets and the varied colored leather skirts she had favored before the election. In that moment it hit him stronger than ever before, just how much she had given up for him. All so he could realize his dream. She had given up her profession, her freedom and even, in some cases, the way she dressed. And how had he treated her? Like a pouting, sulking child. He knew how deeply he had hurt her and it was time to acknowledge that.

Once he finished dressing, he made his way to the nursery for a visit but both his offspring were still asleep so he knew Abbey must have nursed them before heading out.

"Don't worry guys," he said, running a hand over Nicholas' downy fair head, "your old man screwed up pretty damn bad but I'm going to take care of that now. Don't you worry."

***

Jed set out from the house toward the barn. He found Abbey leaning against the rail of the paddock, Zoey and Annie jumping, Zoey on her big bay gelding, Annie on the little black mare he and Abbey had given her for her 10th birthday. Abbey wore fawn colored riding breeches that clung to her slender legs and shapely hips, along with tall worn brown riding boots and a white cotton shirt. It was a look he had always found sexy and he had always had the urge to jump her when she returned from her early morning rides, even when she laughed that she smelled like a horse. God how he wanted to hear her lovely throaty laugh again, it had been too long. She had not been carefree since that wonderful, romantic, and sexy weekend at Camp David. One of the benefits of making up with Abbey would be the fact that he could act on those urges again.

"Hey," he said putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Good morning. Did you have breakfast?"

"Not yet Doc," he grinned. "You know I was thinking, I'm going to talk to Leo and see if we can spend an extra day here instead of flying back to Washington tonight."

"I'm not flying back to Washington tonight," she said. "In fact, I'm not going back at all."

"EVER?"

The End