Kara's Fanfic Archive
Bottles, Babies and Change
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Chapter 5
Toby sat at the table in the solarium with a plate of French toast in front of him. He was completely at a loss for words. The President and First Lady had invited him to a private breakfast and had just asked him to be their daughter's godfather.
"But I'm Jewish," he said stunned. "Don't you have to be Catholic?"
"Only one godparent has to be Catholic. We've asked CJ to be her godmother so that takes care of the Catholic issue," Jed informed him.
"If you don't mind my asking, what made you two pick me?"
"There were many reasons," Jed said. "This is not a decision we make lightly. First of all, other than Mrs. Landingham, Abbey, and Leo, you have been with me longer than anyone else here. We've been through an awful lot together. Second of all, your real devotion to your faith. Being a godparent means that if anything should happen to Abbey and me, you would make sure our daughter was raised in our faith. I know it is a different religion from yours but I also know we could count on you to make sure Aislinn is raised devoted to God and to her faith."
"And last of all we believe in your integrity," Abbey said, taking Jed's hand. "It is a very admirable quality."
"Well, it's a quality I share with the both of you. I can't tell you how honored I am that you would even think of me. Yes, I would love to be your daughter's godfather. I guess I'll have to start working on my Marlon Brando impersonations. I can't wait to tell my rabbi," he smiled.
****
Later that afternoon, Abbey set her mug of chai tea down on the table with a loud thunk. Her eyes were riveted to the television screen watching her husband deliver his State of the Union address. She had been so busy planning the twins' christening that it had been over a week since CJ had given her the tape. Now she couldn't believe what she was seeing and hearing. With every declaration, every call to arms, every promise her husband made, she felt the rug being pulled out from beneath her. Her heart began to race with anger as she rewound and watched the tape again and again.
My God, she thought, that damn fool is planning on running for a second term.
***
"Well, I guess that's everything," Leo said causing the senior staff to rise and leave the oval office.
"Leo, can I talk to you for a minute?" Jed asked once everyone else had gone."
"What's up?"
"I just wanted to let you know that Jenny called Abbey last night. She's coming to the christening."
"I figured she would," Leo said, "it's no big deal. Jenny and I get along fine. We won't cause a scene or anything."
"I'm not worried about that. What I am worried about is that she told Abbey she wants to bring her new boyfriend."
"Boyfriend? When did she get a new boyfriend?"
"I don't know, you can pump Abbey for the details. They were on the phone for an hour last night. She wanted to make sure it was all right with us."
"What did Abbey say?"
"She said it was OK. But, we wanted to warn you. I mean I know it's a couple weeks away but we figured it would give you time to adjust."
"I'm fine. I don't need to adjust. She's not my wife anymore. She can date whomever she wants."
"Just because you have a piece of paper that says you aren't married anymore doesn't mean you aren't still emotionally connected."
"I'm just fine emotionally, thanks."
"I just don't get it, Leo. One day you are in love with a woman, you are a couple, then you sign a piece of paper and the next day it is over. Completely separate lives and dating other people," his tone belied his complete abhorrence of the idea.
"You don't get it because Jenny and I are not you and Abbey. It doesn't happen that way, it's not all of the sudden. It starts out that you grow further and further apart. At first it bothers you but after a while you begin not to care. That is the danger zone. Jenny and I stopped being a couple long before we divorced."
"I guess I just always thought that one day you two would...you know..."
"Get back together?"
"Yes."
"Ever the romantic, aren't you? Well, that just isn't going to happen, old friend."
"I know," Jed sighed sadly.
***
Jed entered the residence hoping to have a quick bite to eat with Abbey before she left for Seattle that evening. She was slowly easing back into her role as First Lady, and as such, was giving an early morning breakfast speech. He knew how difficult it was on her to leave the babies when they were still so small and he wanted her to know that he would try to spend as much time as he could with them. Her suitcase was packed and propped against the wall by the door, but she wasn't in their bedroom.
He found her in the nursery and stood quietly in the doorway watching her. It was bath time. She had Nicholas in the sink in the plastic baby tub. She was singing softly to him while rubbing baby shampoo into his scalp.
"You little imp," she laughed as he kicked his feet and splashed his hands, soaking the front of her shirt even more. Her nipples stood out against the thin fabric of her t-shirt.
Jed smiled as he felt the heaviness in his heart lift. Leo was right. He and Abbey were not Leo and Jenny and he remarked to himself yet again at what a lucky son of a bitch he was to have a woman like Abbey and two precious new additions to his already wonderful family. He moved across the room wrapping his arms around Abbey's waist from behind. He felt her stiffen as he kissed her neck.
"Abbey?"
"What are you doing here, Jed? It's early."
"I wanted to see you before you left."
"Why?" She asked coolly.
"Abbey, what's wrong?"
Abbey took a plastic cup and began pouring water over Nicholas' head to rinse out the shampoo. Her son sputtered and blinked his big blue eyes at her, Jed's eyes.
"Not now, Jed. I don't want to raise my voice in front of the babies."
"Are you going to raise your voice?" he asked holding open a towel and wrapping Nicholas in it when Abbey handed the wet baby to him.
"There is that distinct possibility," she said, taking Aislinn's diaper off and slipping her into the lukewarm water which caused her to cry with distress. "Sssh, it's OK sweet girl, Mommy's got you," she began to hum softly and Aislinn quieted, watching her mother's face, but, this time it was Abbey's own eyes peering up her so intently, not her husband's.
Jed laid Nicholas on the changing table to dry him. He sprinkled baby powder all over his little body before putting on a clean diaper and a cotton baby nightgown. He tucked his son's feet in and pulled the drawstring at the bottom.
Abbey continued bathing Aislinn but she wasn't singing now and their silence was anything but companionable.
"Do you need to feed him?" Jed asked holding his son to his shoulder and inhaling his sweet clean baby smell.
"No, I nursed him before his bath. You can lay him in his crib. It's time for a nap."
Jed did as told and then, while Abbey prepared Aislinn for her nap, he left for their bedroom. He wanted a good stiff drink before Abbey hit him with whatever she was going to hit him with. It didn't take long for him to realize just what had her in such a mood. When he had turned the television on, his State of the Union was still playing. OK, he thought, she's angry about something in the speech, or rather something that wasn't in the speech. He knew she'd be angry, they had cut out the section pertaining to the Violence Against Women Act. That had to be it. He couldn't think of anything else that would make her this mad.
Abbey entered the bedroom wiping at her wet chest and arms with a towel.
"Abbey," Jed said, "I know what you're pissed about. The Violence Against Women Act had to be dropped. I'm sorry about that but you know we only have so much time..."
"You don't know the half of what I'm pissed about, Jed," she said, her voice icy cold.
"What else have I done?"
"Just when the hell did you decide you were going to run again?"
"What? Abbey, that isn't what the speech was about."
"Like hell it wasn't...We had a deal, Jed. Do you remember that at all? That little deal you made me when you told me that you wanted to run for President."
"That was over three years ago."
"I didn't realize it had a time limitation. I guess I should have been more specific." Jed saw her eyes get shiny with unshed tears. He wanted to hold her, comfort her, promise her he wouldn't run again. But, he couldn't do that because he wasn't even sure of that himself.
"Abbey," he looked at his watch, "I have to go down for a meeting about Columbia. When are you leaving?"
"Not for a few hours. I'm going to give the twins their seven o'clock feeding before I go."
"I want to see you before you leave."
"I'll be here," she said softly.
"I'll try to get back before you go." Abbey nodded and watched him leave. She noted sadly that Jed had not denied wanting to run again. Good Lord, how in the world was she going to convince him not to do this?
****
Jed's meeting did not go the way he had wanted. The rescue mission for the DEA agents held hostage in Columbia had failed. Nine men were dead because of a rescue order he had made and the hostages were worse off than before. A tough decision had to be made. A decision that made him furious, that made him sick. A decision that went against everything he believed in. He was going to give in to the enemies demands in order to get his agents back. He was the leader of the only superpower left in the world, and yet, at this moment he felt completely impotent.
It was with a heavy heart that he entered his bedroom. He was later than he had planned. Abbey had changed into her traveling First Lady look and was obviously on her way out.
Abbey knew when Jed walked in, slouching as if he had the weight of the world on his back, that something had gone horribly wrong. His face was drawn. His eyes etched with weariness and grief. All her anger with him dissipated and was replaced with the overwhelming need to provide comfort.
"Jed...honey, what's wrong?" She asked.
Jed flopped down into the chair and ran his hand through his hair.
"We lost them. The Blackhawk was shot down. All nine rescuers are dead. The hostages have been pushed so far into the jungle we'd never get to them without turning Columbia into my Vietnam and I'll probably be forced to have a drug baron released from jail in exchange for getting them back."
"Oh babe, I'm sorry. Do you want me to stay?" she asked, the concern for him apparent in her voice. Please ask me to stay, she thought. Dammit Jed, tell me you need me.
"No...you've had this trip planned for a while. It'll be OK." Tell me it doesn't matter, he thought. Tell me you'll stay and I won't have to come home to an empty house after greeting those coffins in Dover. He looked up at his wife sitting across from him, the emotions playing across her lovely face. "Abbey, I didn't make the decision to run again. I wouldn't do that without discussing it with you."
"Jed, let's not get into that tonight," she sighed.
"When, Abbey?" He asked angrily. "I don't want this hanging over me."
"Jed, I have to leave in about five minutes. This is not the time to start this argument."
"There is no argument. I haven't decided to run again."
"Yes, you have Jed," she said sharply. "My God, your whole staff is running around in re-election mode."
"Of course they are. My numbers are great. Never mind policy, people still love me for getting shot and giving them Nicholas and Aislinn. Why would my staff assume I wasn't going to run again.? They don't know I...I..."
"Say it, Jed."
"Abbey."
"They don't know you have MS," she knelt by his chair looking up at him with tear filled pleading eyes. "When I see you like you are tonight, burdened with the weight of the world, stressed to the breaking point, it scares the hell out of me. You know you could progress to Secondary..."
"A lot of people don't, Abbey, thousands of people. I have had this disease longer than my initial diagnosis. Who knows? I may be past the ten year mark already. My episodes have not become more frequent or severe..."
"Jed, this disease..."
"...and nobody knows how well the betaserone will work. So far it has kept my episodes few and far between." He cupped her cheek in his palm.
"Jed, you promised me," a tear slid down her cheek and he wiped it away with his thumb. No words were needed in that moment as they stared into each other's eyes, pleading with the other to understand.
"Mrs. Bartlet?" The door opened.
"Yes, I'm coming," Abbey said clearing her throat. She got to her feet, wiped the tears from her eyes, and turned to get her purse.
"Call me when you get there," Jed said quietly.
"I will." Oh Jed, tell me not to go. Tell me you need me.
"I love you," he said instead, and she guessed that would have to be enough for now. She wanted to go to him, kiss him good-bye but she knew in doing so, she might start to cry.
"I love you too," she said and, instead of kissing him good-bye, she turned to walk out the door.
TBC...