Wearing a pair of heavy rag wool socks and faded jeans and wrapped up comfortably warm in one of Jed's oversized Notre Dame sweatshirts that fell well below her hips, Abbey made her way out to the porch of their New Hampshire arm with a steaming mug of coffee in her hand. It was a cold morning, just after dawn, and the house was still silent, her family still sleeping. She yawned sleepily and pushed her hair back off her face as she made her way to one of the comfortable wicker chairs, tucked her legs up under herself and sat down. It was so quiet right now, so peaceful. A light foggy mist hovered over the pond and blanketed the green pastures. Fallen leaves rustled on the breeze. It was the first week of November, the day before the election, and all the brilliant foliage was gone. The tree limbs were stark and bare. November was not her favorite month. It was so dark, so bleak, so gray and gloomy. It wasn't until the first coating of pristine white snow would hit the ground at the end of the month that the beauty came back to the land.

She sipped at the quickly cooling coffee and watched a fox run across the lower pasture to stop for a drink at the pond before slinking away back into the woods and it hit her again, the butterflies. She hadn't gotten home until well past midnight after a whirlwind week of last minute campaigning around the country and by all rights she should still be snuggled in bed. Instead, she was out here on the porch waiting for her children to awaken and for chaos to arrive in the form of her husband and his entourage. It all came down to this. A year of campaigning, all down to one day where the entire country would make their choice of who they wanted to lead them for the next four years.

There was hardly the drama of four years ago when her husband had been the dark horse, the challenger, and polls had shown a neck and neck race. Since the debate Jed had steadily shown a big lead over most of the electoral map and even more so in the popular vote. Everything the Ritchies had tried to do had backfired on them. Releasing the personal pictures of her had only made her more sympathetic to people not inclined to feel sympathy for her, and more popular with male voters of all ages. Bringing up the attack and the events that had transpired at Harmony Point with Marcus Hughes had made Jed a hero to women all over America and had helped make him a more palatable candidate for a certain part of the Republican male population who, in the past, had viewed him as a liberal policy wonk, not a man's man.

Now it was down to one day. One day until she would find out if she would spend the next four years in the limelight of the White House or the relative privacy of this farm, not that she would ever regain the anonymity she had enjoyed before her husband had been elected President. She knew what her preference would be. If it were up to her she would be back living here at the farm, riding her horse every morning, working part time at her practice, and raising her two young children away from the scrutiny of the press. But, as much as she would prefer that it was not what she was hoping for. She was hoping with every fiber of her being that her husband would win this election because she knew what it would do to him if he lost. All of his life he had been striving for affirmation that he was a good person, a good leader, and if the country turned away from him now it would devastate him. It would prove his father right, that once people got to know him they would find him lacking somehow. Jed needed to win this election more than she needed to be home. This was his dream and it certainly wasn't going to kill her to live that dream with him for four more years. It was only four years, and then she could come home.

****

By the time Jed arrived at the farm later in the afternoon he found his family down by the south pasture watching Benny burn the piles of leaves that had been raked up. A job that used to be his. He grinned as he watched Abbey holding on to the hoods of each child's windbreaker to restrain them from getting too close to the bonfire. He inhaled the woodsmoke deeply and made his way down to the pasture where they were all so absorbed they had never noticed his motorcade arrive. It was Max who noticed him first, the big dog ambling away from the family to greet him. The excited barks drew Abbey and Nicky's attention; however, Aislinn was too busy sitting on the grass trying to button her doll's jacket to notice him right away.

Nicholas began toddling toward him and Jed grinned at the sight of him. There was a beaming, dimpled smile on his face, grass stains on his knees, a little gray soot on his cheeks from the fire and his nose was slightly running. In short he looked like any other typical little boy, not a Presidents son raised in the rarefied atmosphere of the White House. And, when he picked his son up he caught the scent of little boy, a combination of bubble gum bubble bath, baby shampoo, sun, smoke, grass, and toddler sweat It was the smell of Nicholas, his son, and he would recognize it anywhere, just as he would recognize the scent of the boy's mother, a more feminine flowery scent that never failed to make his senses reel. He inhaled it now as Abbey leaned in for a kiss.

"You're home," she smiled, running a hand over his cheek.

"Yeah."

She glanced up at the motorcade of cars that filled their driveway. "Any plans for this afternoon?"

"Just one." He gazed away from her, down across the pond. Abbey's eyes followed his.

"You're going to the cemetery?" It had been his first visit after the last election.

Jed nodded and bent to pick up Aislinn who was now tugging on his leg for attention.

"You want to go alone or would you like some company this time?"

Jed thought about it for a moment. He usually visited his father's grave on his own. "I guess I could use some company this time."

He saw the smile of surprise cross his wife's lips and regret tugged at his heart. So many times he had shut her out of his feelings for his father. Not that she was ever really in the dark. She knew everything, every last detail, every hit, every insult, every painful moment of his childhood, however, once told it was not something that he dwelled on, not something he could discuss at length as much as she might have wanted to. A part of him would always be ashamed, always want her to have the illusion of the strong man he had become, not the weak child that he was.

"Well okay then." Abbey said carefully, trying not to make a big deal out of it. ”Let's bring the kids back to the house and we'll go."

****

Jed held Abbey's hand as they walked slowly along the grassy edge of the pond. The sun that had burned off the early morning fog now warmed their backs as they quietly took in the beauty of their farm. Took in the black and white cows covering the hills of the lower pasture across the pond and the lines of rock walls that divided the property and ran along the edges of the woods. They paused at one point holding their breath as they watched a large Bull Moose come slowly crashing out of the woods. The huge animal walked slowly into the pond dunking his magnificent rack under the water to come up with a mouthful of vegetation that he proceeded to munch with seeming unconcern. The king of his domain. Animals were safe here and they knew it. Their property had always been marked with "No Hunting" signs and the pond had always been a favorite watering hole for the local wildlife.

"As much as I'd like to stand here all day with you, we really should get going. Your mother is coming over for supper tonight."

"You didn't tell me that."

"She just called this morning. She wants to see you before the election."

"I owe her a little talk. I need to thank her for coming here to be with you when I asked her."

"Before you do there's something you need to know." She turned to him taking both of his hands in hers. "I wanted so many times to talk to you about this but with the campaign the timing was always off. This was too important for quick little 'by the way'."

"What? She's not sick, is she?"

"No, it's nothing like that. It's just…oh, God…how do I say this?"

"Just tell me. What is it?"

"She never knew, Jed."

"Never knew what?" He was clearly puzzled by the importance of his wife was placing on these words.

"She never knew that your father beat you."

Jed tried to break away from her hands but Abbey held tight. She wasn't going to let him turn away from her.

"Jed, please, don't close off from me," Abbey pleaded.

"I'm not. I just don't know what to say. You TALKED about this with her. How on earth did the subject even come up?"

"I was angry with her. She was talking about how different you were from your father. How much she loved your warmth and the sweetness inside of you and I got so pissed I just sort of blurted out the question that if she loved that part of you how could she let her husband try to beat it out of you."

"Jesus," Jed sighed. All of his life this had been a taboo subject with his parents. Only Abbey and Jon knew everything, even Leo didn't know the extent of the abuse.

"In a way I'm sorry, Jed, but in another way, I'm not. There has been far too much silence on this subject in your family. Can't you see? It's like a cancer sitting in there eating away at you. For fifty years, half a century, Jed, this has been festering inside of you." She cupped his face in her hands staring deeply into the pain ravaged blue eyes of her husband. " Baby, the time is way overdue for you to purge yourself of this. It should never have been your burden…your shame, NEVER."

Jed nodded tears welling in his eyes. "She really never knew?"

Abbey shook her head negatively and reached a finger up to wipe a tear from her cheek. "She knew he was hard on you, knew he hit you to punish you, but she didn't know that he beat you."

Jed nodded and tried to turn away again. This time Abbey let him. Jed looked up at the sky. He watched a hawk circle overhead with all the freedom in the world. That was how he felt at this moment, a sense of freedom from all the questions he'd had about his past.

Abbey watched his shoulders shudder as he tried to restrain his emotion and she moved to him wrapping her arms around his waist from behind as she pressed her cheek into his back.

"You okay," she asked softly.

"Yeah. Somehow this makes it all easier. I always wondered if she knew what he did and if she did know, how she could let him do that to me."

"Me too…You were just a little boy." She turned him back around and looking into the incredibly handsome face of the man before her, she could see the little boy he had been. She saw him every day when she looked into her sons earnest, sweet little face, and to think of anyone trying to destroy that child damn near broke her heart.

Jed saw the tears well up in her eyes, watched them begin to spill down her cheeks. "Abbey, sweetheart, don't cry…Please…It's over, it's finished." He tried to pull her tight against his chest but she was having nothing of that. She held herself back still looking him in the eye.

"No, it isn't Jed. Not for you. Don't you see? You carry that pain around with you every day. It's a part of who you are."

"Well, maybe I can start to let some of that go now."

"I hope you can, Jed. I really hope you can. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get all maudlin on you. We aren't even at the cemetery yet." She wiped her cheeks with her palms and Jed took her damp hand back in his so they could continue on their way.

"There is another interesting tidbit that you might want to know about your parents marriage." Her voice was brighter now a teasing lilt to it rather than sadness.

"Really? That must have been quite a visit you two had."

"It was very…shall we say…. Enlightening."

"So, tell me. What is this gossip that you have about my parents marriage."

"Your parents didn't have sex for the last EIGHTEEN years of their marriage."

"Oh, Abbey," Jed grimaced… "Oh, that's just GROSS. I don't want to know about my parents SEX LIFE."

"Or lack thereof," Abbey grinned. "You sound just like the girls when they find us making out on the couch or with our bedroom door locked."

"That's different," he argued. "That's US, we're lovers."

"It's not so different. We may be lovers but we're also their parents. So, do you want to know WHY they didn't have sex for 18 years."

"I suppose you're going to tell me," he cringed.

"Because your mother went through the change. She moved into a separate bedroom after menopause because a good Catholic woman is only suppose to have sex to procreate and once that ability is over there is no longer any need to continue on with her wifely duties."

"Are you serious?" Jed's eyes were wide.

"As a heart attack."

"My MOTHER said that to you."

"Almost verbatim. So, who knows how much longer I'll be forced to put up with these heinous wifely duties? I mean it's been SUCH a CHORE all these years putting up with…" Abbey giggled as Jed pinched her rear sharply.

"Wifely duties, my ass," he grumbled. "I seem to recall plenty of times my insatiable wife enticed me into performing my husbandly duties and if you even so much as had a thought of turning me out of our bed after menopause…"

Abbey began to giggle then. "It's a good thing I'm not always a good Catholic wife then, isn't it?"

"Sometimes there is such a thing as being too literal."

"Eighteen years, Jed. I can't even imagine. I think I'd go crazy not having you touch me or make love to me or not even having your warm body laying next to me in bed. I don't know how she could stand losing that closeness and intimacy."

"Probably because she never had it. You knew my parents. Okay, this is the last time I'm going to say anything on the subject because it's making me a little ill… but, honestly could you even picture what sex would have been like for them.

Abbey could. They were not her parents so it was easier for her to objectively dissect them. Knowing John and Emily there had been no teasing or laughing or experimenting with positions or various forms of sex. There would have been none of the joy or body worshipping that she and Jed experienced in their marital bed. Sex would have been purely business. Emily fulfilling her wifely duty, John releasing a need.

"Okay, I can see that you're picturing my parents in bed and it's grossing me out so let's move away from the subject."

Abbey laughed and laid her head against Jed's shoulder. "Well, one thing you should know. I've read up on the subject a bit and I've heard that sex is even better for women AFTER menopause."

Jed stopped then and looked down into the twinkling glint in his wife's green eyes. "Well, then I'll look forward to finding out."

TBC...