***

Goddammit, how the hell did they get to Jed? With all the security he has to put up with, and yet they still got to him. Shot him right in front of his daughter. I just can't believe my best friend might be dying. Good Lord, how am I going to face Abbey? This is all my fault. I'm the one who convinced him to run for President. Convinced him that even though they didn't think so, the Party needed him. Convinced him the country needed him. Not that I had lied, I knew Jed was the best man for the job even when he didn't. I still do. But was it worth it? One year in office and now this. I knew what Abbey would say, "No Leo. It wasn't worth my husbands life." Abbey, there she is again. Jesus, how can I face her?

I don't have to wait long. She comes around the corridor, her auburn hair flying behind her as she confronts me, wanting to know how Jed is. I see she is trying to keep herself in control but there is a wild fear lurking in the depths of her beautiful hazel eyes. I don't like seeing that. It scares me. I have to tell her, "It's not good. He was flatlining when he came in." Oh Jesus, I see all the blood leave her face and her legs give way. I catch her but she pulls herself together. We sit quietly for hours just taking comfort in each other's presence. I hold on to her arm while the surgeon talks to her about Jed's condition. 25%. That is Jed's chance of surviving this. I have to believe this is enough. I tell Abbey it is. I tell her that he has beaten worse odds than that but, in my heart, I don't believe even Josiah Bartlet can pull this one out. Abbey leaves me to go to her husband. I go to the waiting room to update the staff. I am the Chief of Staff; I still have a duty. But, my best friend is dying.

After I do my duty, I stop in the chapel. I may not be as religious as Jed but I still believe in the power of prayer. I try to pray but instead I am flooded with memories. Memories of my friendship with Jed, which started at prep school. Jed likes to tell people he was a nerd but nothing could have been further from the truth. Nobody with Jed's level of self-assurance and confidence could be a nerd. Sure he was studious and always had his nose in a book, but, he also had a great sense of humor and an aura of belonging. Of knowing exactly who he was and where he was going. Maybe it was his upbringing, his family that has been rooted in New Hampshire's soil since before the Revolutionary War.

He was good looking in that New England preppy kind of way. Disheveled blondish brown hair, intense blue eyes, and a uniform of khakis and loafers. The girls were drawn to him despite his studious nature. Still waters run deep and all that. Hell, people were drawn to him. He had a way of entering a room and commanding that room. It's what makes him such a great politician. Everybody mattered to Jed, they still do. There is not a snobbish bone in his body. Well, maybe a little intellectual snobbery, but that is to be expected of a brilliant mind.

I had the same level of self-confidence, but somehow on me it came out as arrogant cockiness. I guess I always did have a bit of a chip on my shoulder. Unlike Jed, I never really felt like I belonged anywhere. I didn't belong in South Boston, an A student in a home where my father was an alcoholic and my mother simply looked the other way. I didn't belong with those rich New England prep school boys. Me, the charity case, who had a scholarship to their elitist club. But I gotta give Jed credit. He was the one person who never treated me like a charity case. We were always equals in his eyes. We still are even though he is the President of the United States and I am his Chief of Staff...Damn that's my beeper. I have to go phone Hoynes.

When I get off the phone, I know it is time to go see Jed. I enter the room cautiously but my eyes are not drawn to Jed's pale and lifeless form. They are drawn to Abbey, she is sitting, wrapped in Jed's suitcoat, rocking back and forth and just staring into space. I have never seen her like this and it scares the hell out of me. "Abbey...Jesus," I say startled. I don't know what to say. Her voice is soft and almost devoid of emotion when she tells me, "He's going to die, Leo." I try to reassure her and she begins to tell me in this pleading voice I have never heard from her before, that Jed promised her he would never let something like this happen. What can I say? I don't know what to say to this woman who is my best friend's wife. My friend for more years than I care to admit. It's all my fault this is happening to her. She and Jed were happy in New Hampshire. I'm the one who changed all that.

Abbey gets very upset when the priest comes in to give Jed last rites. She runs from the room and I hear her retching in the bathroom. I have never seen Abbey lose control like this. But, then again, I have never seen her so close to losing Jed. To losing a part of herself.

Abigail and Josiah, Abbey and Jed, even their names fit together perfectly. The two of them have been inseparable since Jed stole her from Ron Ehrlich all those years ago at Notre Dame. I have never believed in love at first sight but both Jed and Abbey swear that is how it was for them, I do believe them. I didn't go to Notre Dame with them but I do remember the first time Jed introduced me to his gorgeous new girlfriend. With her waist long wavy auburn hair, big hazel eyes, and killer body, she took my breath away. She still does. A part of me has always been half in love with Abigail O'Neill Bartlet. Oh, it's nothing weird or anything. Not like I've been pining away all these years waiting for her to dump Jed and notice me. I married Jenny and we built a life in DC far away from the Bartlets of New Hampshire. We would see them once or twice a year on visits. We never missed the annual week before Christmas Bartlet bonfire and skating party.

I admit I always felt Jed and Abbey lived in the middle of nowhere but for this time of year it was like something out of Currier and Ives. The hills and fields were covered in snow. Abbey had the old colonial farmhouse dressed to the nines in Christmas finery, wreaths on the doors, white candles in every window. Inside, the halls were really decked with holly. The girls' stockings hung over the fireplace and, of course, Jed had anointed every doorway with a sprig of mistletoe. Jed was in his glory on this day. While Abbey was ever the gracious hostess, it was Jed who was the master of ceremonies. As friends and the girls' classmates arrived, he would take them down to the pond on a sleigh he found at some old estate sale, which was hooked to two of the Bartlets' horses. It was a magical day and evening, one that Mallory looked forward to every year. At the pond, everyone was ice skating to music or standing around the bonfire talking and taking swigs from flasks of hot buttered rum. I remember once finding Jed sitting alone on the bench beside the pond watching Abbey teaching Zoey how to skate while Elizabeth and Ellie sped by with their friends. I found it odd that he was alone. Jed was usually the center of attention. I sat next to him and asked him what was wrong. "Nothing's wrong," he said, "this is where I asked Abbey to marry me. I had no idea then that one act would produce so much, this family. I am going to miss them so much when I have to go back to Washington. The life of a congressman."

"Are you going to run for the Senate? There has been talk," I asked.

"Nope," Jed said, taking a drag from his cigarette. "When my term is up, I'm going to run for Governor."

"Senator would be more helpful if you want to run for President some day," I told him.

"Senator means more years in Washington. Governor means being home with my family." He wasn't looking at me now; he was watching Abbey laughing as she fell with her daughter to the ice. "In the end, that's all that matters, Leo." He stood and walked to the ice helping his wife and daughter to their feet. I knew it in that moment; Jed Bartlet would be a great President because of the very reason that he didn't NEED to be President.

It's not that I was actively jealous of Jed, more like envious. I would watch the easy way Abbey was with him, the way she would pat his butt while he dried the dishes she had washed, the way she would tease and flirt with him as if they hadn't been married for years, and I would feel that pang.

On the campaign trail, I saw them together even more. We all witnessed the verbal sparring and arguments but then again, Jed Bartlet needed a strong woman who would not be overpowered by his bigger than life persona. He got that in Abbey. On the other hand, we also all witnessed the sexual electricity between them and the genuine affection. Neither of them is embarrassed to show their love for the other. CJ never had to instruct them to hold hands on the campaign, holding hands was automatic for the two of them. As soon as Jed finished a speech, he was reaching for Abbey. As they walked, his hand was on the small of her back guiding her. Knowing how it troubled him, Abbey would run her hand up and down his back while he talked to voters. In the car, his hand would rest on her knee. This need for contact was all completely unconscious, as natural to them as breathing.

Since becoming First Lady, Abbey has not lost her femininity or her sexiness. I still remember all those letters we got after the State Dinner when she wore that tight gold gown that revealed the top swells of her breasts. I heard more than one man remark that night what a lucky bastard Jed Bartlet was. I have heard staffers and congressmen discussing the First Lady’s short skirts, high heels, and the fact that she has incredible legs. One hell of a package as one Senator put it. While I secretly agree with them, I usually shut them up, either out of respect for Abbey, or because Jed might be within earshot. Jed can be a possessive man when it comes to his wife. That is one reason I have never even jokingly referred to my feelings about his Abbey. I know damn well Jed would not find it amusing at all. And Abbey? Abbey would be embarrassed. She would become self-conscious around me and lose her spontaneous ways, which is not what I want. I really do love them both.

The envy of their relationship was not mine alone, Jenny felt it too. How could she not? Despite three kids and two high powered careers, they were able to keep it all together. When I made that statement that effectively ended my marriage, the one where I said at this time my job was more important than my marriage, Jenny was at first stunned. When she regained her composure, she threw it in my face that Jed was the PRESIDENT, which was a hell of a lot more important job than mine, and he NEVER would have said that to Abbey. She was right. I remembered his conversation with me by the pond; I never argued the point.

When I went to Jed to try to convince him to run for President, and I could see he was swaying to a yes answer, he stopped short. He told me he would have to get a yes from Abbey. If Abbey said no, the answer was no. A commitment to this job would mean a few years. His commitment to her was for life. That is where we differ. If anyone had tried to get me to run for President, I never would have given Jenny the choice. She would either be with me or not. I guess that is why I am divorced and Jed's wife is puking her guts out in terror at the thought of losing him.

Abbey comes back out of the bathroom pale and trembling, but calmer. I try to get her to go rest but she will not leave Jed. She refuses to allow him to die alone if that is what is to be. God is she strong. I know I can't be there to see that vibrant, energetic man slip away from us.

I don't see either of them again until morning. I have been up all night with John Hoynes going over security. I am with Abbey when they remove Jed's ventilator. I stand with her while Jed chokes and gasps trying to breathe on his own. I watch his blue eyes flicker open. The recognition is there.

"A...Abbey," he chokes out, and tries to reach her with his hand.

Yup, same old Jed. I grin, because at that moment, I know Jed is going to be just fine.

TBC...