Abbey awoke slowly to the realization that it was finally morning. Something felt heavy on her chest and she could feel soft warm breath against her neck. For a moment she thought it was Jed, but hearing a soft cough reminded her of coming downstairs with her sick son deep in the stormy night. It was Nicholas who lay sleeping on her chest, not her husband. They had both evidently fallen asleep in the rocking recliner while watching "The Jungle Book". Abbey pressed her lips to Nicky's forehead gratified to feel the coolness there. At the touch of his mother's lips, Nicholas snuggled more closely into her and wrapped an arm around her neck. Abbey just sat holding his warm little body to hers enjoying this peaceful quiet time while she watched the sun rise over Chesapeake Bay.

When she finally felt awake enough to get up and start the day she rose slowly to her feet and laid her son on the couch. Nicholas stirred and blinked his sleepy blue eyes.

"Mama?" He whimpered softly, while reaching up to stay clutched to her.

"It's okay, baby, just go back to sleep." Abbey knelt beside the couch and pulled his T-shirt down over his exposed belly. Nicholas promptly stuck his thumb back in his mouth and rolled over onto his belly and into his favorite sleeping position, knees pulled up and his butt in the air. Abbey smiled and gave his well padded diapered rear a tap before beginning to run her hand in the circular patterns on his back that were usually guaranteed to soothe him back to sleep. When she was satisfied that he wouldn't re-awaken she propped pillows all around him so that he wouldn't fall off the couch and placed her grandmother's quilt over him. She stood for a few more moments then made her way to the bathroom twisting her stiff neck from side to side and rotating her sore shoulder. Her right arm was still fairly numb from having been wrapped around Nicholas most of the night and she began to flex her fingers to get the feeling back.

Once in the bathroom she eyed herself critically in the mirror. "You look like hell, Abigail," she told her exhausted looking reflection. She yawned tiredly, rubbed her eyes and began brushing her hair before carelessly twisting it up into a clip. After a few splashes of icy cold water on her face and a good brush of her teeth she felt decidedly more human and made her way to the kitchen to begin preparing breakfast. * * * *

Jed climbed wearily up the porch stairs. His steps were as heavy as the gloom that had settled over him. As he made his way to the kitchen he could smell the fresh coffee brewing and he could hear Abbey humming and singing along to the radio that was playing softly. Already he could feel a bit of the tension leaving his body and the tight control that he'd had on his emotions start to loosen. He stood quietly for a long while simply watching her. It was all so normal, a morning like any other; as if what had happened last night had never occurred. She was at the counter making blueberry muffins barefoot and wearing a cream colored silky bathrobe. Her bright auburn hair was pulled loosely up into a clip and was gleaming like copper in the bright morning sunshine. He ached to reach out and touch her, to run his fingers through the warm silky strands and kiss the delicate nape of her neck that her upswept hair exposed. But, he didn't, he couldn't.

As Abbey placed the muffins in the oven she had the unsettling feeling that she was being watched, a tingling down her spine. It had always been this way between she and Jed. Tiny jolts of electricity seemed to pulse between them when they were in the same room and so she was not surprised when she turned to see him standing in the archway between the hall and the kitchen. She turned to face him with a welcoming smile that faded quickly from her lips as she took in the haggard look on his face, the pain in his eyes.

She stood transfixed, unable to move. "Jed, my God, what's wrong.".

The compassion and concern on her face and in her voice were too much. Jed crossed over to her his eyes never leaving hers. When he finally reached her his hands cupped her face and he stared deeply into her beautiful eyes as if he could absorb all that she was, all that was good and pure and decent in the world. His thumbs molded her cheekbones and her lips.

"Abbey…" Her name crossed his lips as a pain filled moan and he kissed her then, hard and passionate his tongue invading her mouth with desperation. She tasted so good, a combination of minty toothpaste and coffee. Abbey felt the need within him and knew instinctively that he was seeking comfort. She held him tightly to her allowing him to possess her until his kiss began to gentle and seek a response from her. She pulled back slowly, weakly, her legs still shaking with the intensity of his kiss and the force of his need.

"Jed?" She gazed up at him with confusion.

"I had to do it, Abbey." He was still breathing heavy, his voice filled with pain. "I didn't have any other choice."

"What? What did you have to do, baby?" She gently stroked a hand over his cheek.

He wanted to tell her. He wanted so badly to unburden himself but he just couldn't do it. He wouldn't be able to stand it if she turned away from him. "I can't tell you. It's really hard for me to say that to you and I'm sorry, Abbey, but I just can't." His eyes pleaded with her to understand and she did understand She knew there were times when he couldn't tell her things and times that his job forced secrecy but somehow she knew deep down inside that this was something big. He had come to her with the weight of the world on his shoulders and he need comfort not questions. As she looked steadily into his tortured eyes she also knew without a doubt that he had done the right thing. Jed was the most morally strong man she had ever known. He was completely sure of who he was and what his values were and he lived his life to the best of his ability by those guiding principles. It was a strength that had won him an election and had also won him many enemies.

"It's okay. Whatever happened, I'm sure you did the right the thing."

Her eyes were so damned earnest, so full of her trust and belief in him. "How do you know?" He choked.

Abbey lifted her other hand to his cheek so that she held his face in her palms. "Because I know you." They were four simple yet emotion packed words that Jed needed to hear at that moment more than anything.

"I don't want to talk about it, I just want to hold you. Please Abbey, just let me hold you." He pulled her into his arms crushing her to him. His hands moved up her back and dislodged her hair clip so he could plunge his fingers through her hair. He grabbed handfuls of her silken tresses and brought them to his nose inhaling deeply. The scent of her was so familiar, so clean and fresh, honeysuckle, lily of the valley, and Abbey. With his fingers still tangled up in her hair, he pulled her head back from his shoulder and covered her lips with his. He felt Abbey give a soft gasp against his lips at the sheer force of his need, felt her fingers dig into his shoulders, and all the tension and pain and frustration started to dissipate as she began to respond to his kiss.

He hadn't planned to do this. He had come home to Abbey, home to his safe harbor where he knew he would be loved and accepted. He had simply meant to hold her but as always his body had a different idea of what exactly comfort meant. He hadn't planned on Abbey's immediate ardent response to him, was unaware of the demons she had spent the night slaying and the need to feel his strength and the safety that she felt in his arms.

Jed's kiss deepened and he grabbed her hips grinding his erection into her. Abbey moaned against his lips her hands sliding down from his waist to his rear pulling him even closer and harder against her. Jed gave a quick fleeting thought to their bedroom and with a groan he broke free of her. It was too damn far. One swipe of his hand cleared the kitchen table of magazines and place settings and sent condiments crashing to the floor. He turned to Abbey. She had slipped off her silky bathrobe and was now standing before him wearing just the simple white cotton and lace nightgown. It was old fashioned and innocent looking and yet on her it was sexy as hell. Her lips were swollen from his kisses and she was breathing heavy with desire causing her breasts to rise and fall enticingly. Her nipples formed hard little peaks jutting out against the fabric. He watched her run her tongue over her bottom lip as she reached out to grab a fistful of his shirt and pull him to her. This time she was the aggressor. She locked her mouth over his, her tongue teasing his while she worked at his belt and tugged his pants down. He felt her reach into his boxers and he gave a deep groan. His fingers made their way up her thighs and hooked into each side of her bikini panties before pulling them down. With those finally discarded, he yanked her nightgown up over her hips.

Abbey started to unbutton his shirt, but the need to touch his flesh and touch it that instant was too much for her to finish the job. With the top few buttons undone she slid her hands inside and flattened her palms over his warm chest and felt his heart pounding like a drum against them. She began to drag her fingers through his crisp chest hair but before she could follow the line down to where it disappeared into his boxers, Jed lifted her up onto the table and dragged her legs around his waist. Not even bothering to remove his underwear, he slipped himself through the slit and slid into her in one swift, sure move. That was all it took to send them careening into a maelstrom of passion. Both still half clothed, their lovemaking was all about hunger and need and the giving and receiving of the kind of comfort they could only get from each other.

"Where the hell is Max?" Jed asked when it was over and they both lay sprawled over the kitchen table satiated and breathing heavy. He was still inside Abbey stroking her hair back from her face, enjoying the quivering remnants of her orgasm.

"What?" she asked, still fairly dazed from what they had just done on the table where just a few minutes before she had been preparing breakfast.

"Max. He should have been carrying on like Cujo when I came through that door. I didn't hear one growl. Some guard dog he is. Anyone could have…"

"It's not his fault," she said sheepishly. "I shut him in the nursery with Aislinn last night."

"What? Why?"

"Well, I had Nicholas safely down here with me and I felt better leaving him to protect her upstairs."

"Did something happen? Is there something you aren't tell me?"

"No, Jed, nothing happened. Nothing except me having a pretty vivid imagination."

"Oh, God, I didn't even think. It was the first time since…"

"Yeah, since."

He carefully regarded her pale face for a moment. "So that's what these are all about." He ran a finger over the faint purplish- gray shadow's that lay beneath her eyes. "I thought it was because you'd been up all night with Nicholas."

"I was, but that was only part of it…"

"Mama" Both Jed and Abbey heard the sleepy call of her name and froze for a moment before breaking apart like two guilty teens caught going at it on the couch. Abbey jumped off the kitchen table smoothing her nightgown back down over her thighs and turned to see her son standing in the doorway wearing only his T-shirt and diaper rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Hey, buddy, you're up." She tried to sound bright and cheerful as she made her way over to him but Jed heard the shakiness in her voice. It had been a very close call. Abbey kissed him good morning but before she could lift him into her arms he saw Jed.

"Dadda!" he called out and began to toddle to him. Facing away from his son for a moment, Jed quickly slipped himself back inside his boxers and turned to greet him.

"Hey, partner," he grinned.

"Up, up" Nicky lifted his arms up and bounced on his toes wanting Jed to pick him up. Jed complied lifting the boy up into his arms. "Me pay"

"What?" Jed frowned.

"Me pay." He squirmed in Jed's arms and pointed at the kitchen table.

"Oh God," Abbey groaned. "He thinks we were PLAYING on the kitchen table."

"Weren't we?"

"JED"

"Come on Abs, just be thankful that he doesn't know what we were really doing up there. I mean at least it wasn't like that time the girls skating party was cancelled and all three of them found us doing the wild thing in front of the living room fireplace. Zoey thought I was hurting you, Ellie wouldn't look me in the eye for a month and Liz..."

"Just kept shaking her head at us and saying 'gross'. Oh I remember that day quite well. You don't think he saw anything, do you?"

"No, and even if he did he wouldn't know what we were doing. He's one. Why didn't you tell me he was sleeping down here?"

"Because you starting kissing me and I forgot all about it."

"Me pay" Nicholas tried to get back down.

"No way, Nicky boy," Jed said, putting him in his booster seat. "It's time for breakfast. Only Mommy and Daddy get to play on the kitchen table." He sent a sly grin Abbey's way as she bent to take the muffins out of the oven.

A half-hour later Abbey sat with her chin propped in her hands while she watched her husband. He was laughing and munching away on warm buttered blueberry muffins while he helped Aislinn with her oatmeal and wiped Nicky's runny nose with a napkin. How different he was from the haunted man who stood in this kitchen barely an hour ago filled with gloom and despair, the man who had taken her with such quiet desperation.

She smiled as she watched Aislinn feed him a spoonful of her oatmeal, watched Jed savor it and open his mouth for another bite. She had at times heard Aislinn and Nicholas referred to as a "mistake", a word she loathed with all her being. She preferred to think of them as an unexpected gift. However, if they wanted to refer to them that way she would have to say they were the best mistake she had ever made in her life. Being with the children lifted Jed's spirits quicker and easier than anything else could. She loved to watch the mantle of weariness and tension leave him as soon as he was in their presence. The selfless act of loving and caring for a child tended to bring one quickly out of whatever selfish misery they might be in at the moment. Today was not any different and whatever problem had been weighing him down this morning had obviously been put into prospective as he ate breakfast with his family.

"Abbey, you're not eating," Jed observed, while filling Nicky's empty sippie cup with milk.

"I'm just enjoying watching you and the kids."

Jed handed his son the cup then turned to look at his wife. He could see the curiosity in her eyes. He knew she wanted to know what had happened last night to make him so crazy. He also knew that she wouldn't ask him again. Had this been personal she never would have let him close off to her like he had, however, when it came to the national security part of his work she didn't push and she didn't nag, she was simply there if he needed to talk. He wondered if someday down the road he would have to tell her about what he had done and wondered if when she knew she would still consider him to be one of the 'good guys'. More than anything he needed her to still believe that of him. He needed to believe that of himself.

* * * *

Leo knocked on the front door and stood nervously readjusting his weight from foot to foot. He had put this moment off for far too long. He'd avoided her whenever possible, ignored her phone calls, but he couldn't avoid her forever and if he truly wanted to move forward he had to cross this last one last hurdle. The door swung open and he gave a small start.

"Leo?" Abbey stood before him in an old pair of faded jeans and a scoop necked forest green sweater that buttoned up the front and clung to her every curve. It didn't help that Nicholas was on her hip, his little hand pulling her sweater down even lower to reveal more of her breast and a hint of her lacy pink bra, as he struggled to stay in his mother's almost slack arms.

Abbey noticed where Leo's gaze fell and she pulled Nicky's hand off her sweater blushing with embarassment. Trying to feign a casualness she didn't feel she looked him right in the eye." Did you come here to see Jed?"

"No, Abbey. I came here to see you. I think it's time that we talk."

TBC...