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Under Siege
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Chapter 15
Jed jumped to his feet as if shocked by a live wire causing Sammi to fall ignominiously to the floor.
"What in God's name do you think you're doing?" Jed gasped, wiping the back of his hand across his lips to rid himself of her lipstick.
Sammi jumped to her to her feet, a bit put out at having been basically thrown off of him.
"I want you, Jed," she moved closer to him. "It's just sex. Abbey doesn't ever have to know what goes on between us." She reached a hand out to try to stroke his chest. Jed took a step back out of her reach, his shock being replaced by simmering anger at her audacity.
"Young lady," he boomed, "It's Mr. President and Mrs. Bartlet to you. You are standing in the Oval office and I am the President and a married man to boot. Don't you have any respect?"
"Y...yes," Sammi's lip began to tremble. She knew men, and somehow she knew this was the way to cool Jed Bartlet's anger. "I'm sorry...I just thought...you've been so lonely and I'm very attracted to you. I just wanted to help," she began to cry
"Damn," Jed muttered "Don't cry." He hated tears, had always felt ill at ease around that emotion.
"I...I'm sorry," she cried even harder. "I'm just so embarrassed. I thought you might be interested."
"Why on earth would you think that?"
"It's been my experience with my other bosses that men in Washington aren't exactly faithful."
"Well I am faithful to my wife," he looked at her curiously. "You've had these relationships with your other bosses?"
"Yes, they sort of expected it," she looked up at him through wet lashes playing on his sympathy and Jed was reminded of his daughters. He shook his head with disgust.
"You should have some respect for yourself, Samantha," he said sternly. "Sex is not something you just give away to anyone."
"Yes, sir," she said contritely. "Please don't fire me. I really need this job."
"I should boot you out on your ass for this little stunt."
"Yes, sir," she looked so young and apologetic, he actually felt sorry for her. Jed sighed.
"Look, you only have a couple days left. I'll let you stay for these last two days but if you ever attempt a stunt like this again, I'll have the Service drag you out of here."
"Yes sir, thank you," she turned to leave. As she walked away she was filled with an even stronger desire to have the President. She had tasted his lips, touched him carnally, and his outrage and devotion to his wife only made her want him more. There was nothing she loved more than a good challenge.
+++++
Leo awakened on the couch in his office as he often did. A gaze at the clock told him it was 3:30 in the morning. He groaned debating whether to bother going home or just stay here for the night. It was then that he noticed the band of light under his door that led to the Oval Office. He opened the door, running his hand through his hair sleepily.
Jed was stretched out on his couch with paperwork.
"What paperwork is so important it has you here at almost 4 in the morning?"
"I'm checking off my Christmas list."
"At 4 am?"
"Yes," Jed looked up seeing the concern on Leo's face. "I'm not sleeping well lately."
"So I've noticed. You never sleep well when Abbey is away."
"This is different."
"How?"
"I'm not sleeping at all."
"At all?" his brow furrowed. "For how long?"
"This is the fourth night. I try but I end up just tossing and turning."
"Have you talked to Abbey about taking something?"
"Not Abbey, she'd come rushing home and I don't want that. I got Hackett to give me a sleeping pill but it goes into effect at inopportune times."
"You can't continue on like this. You need to be sharp. Maybe you should talk to somebody."
"What? Like a psychiatrist?" Jed asked skeptically.
"Yes, have you ever been to one?"
"No. Well not a psychiatrist anyway. After Abbey was raped, I went to a couple appointments to see her therapist with her."
"Did it help?" Leo asked gently.
"Yeah," he admitted, "I guess it helped me sort through my feelings and understand how Abbey was feeling."
"So maybe I should call that guy Josh used to see after his father's death. What was his name? Stanley?"
"Yeah," Jed said, his eyes downcast. He hated to admit that he needed help. Damn Toby anyway. Bringing up his father right now on top of everything else had not been a good thing. He was still too raw over discussing the man with Ellie, then the censure coming right on the heels of that conversation, and now this. How had Toby known? What had tipped him off? It had been a secret shame for so long that bringing it out into the open the way Toby had, had been like picking a scab off a particularly deep wound and had left him feeling raw and exposed.
++++
Abbey sat in the living room of her parents home surrounded by boxes and wrapping paper. Christmas carols played on the radio and she sang along while wrapping presents. Nicholas and Aislinn sat playing in their playpen to her right where she should keep her eye on them. She smiled as she watched Nicky give up his rattle to his sister and Aislinn gave him a drooling smile. It was so different having twins. It never failed to amuse her to watch the way they communicated with each other, even as babies. Sharing the space in her womb for eight months had formed a magical bond as strong as the one she shared with them. She was smiling and watching their antics when 'Jingle Bell Rock' gave way to 'I'll be home for Christmas'. Her smile faded and she was surprised to feel the prick of tears in her eyes as the poignant Christmas carol tugged at her heartstrings. It had been a long time since she and Jed had been apart this long and it was so hard, especially at Christmas. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up into her mother's sympathetic face.
"Homesick?" Beth asked.
"A little. But we'll all meet up in New Hampshire soon."
"Abbey..." the ringing of the phone interrupted what Beth was about to say.
"Hello," Abbey answered.
"Hi Abbey, it's Leo."
"Hey Leo. What's up?"
"I need you to come home."
"What? Why, what's wrong?" Abbey asked urgently. Leo knew her first fear was that Jed was sick.
"Jed needs you. He's not dealing with the censure well and he and Toby had some kind of falling out that seems to be really affecting him. He won't talk to me about it. He isn't sleeping and he's becoming a wreck. I set up an appointment with Josh's old psychiatrist tonight, but I think what he really needs is you." Abbey knew it had to be serious for Jed to agree to seeing a psychiatrist. The only reason he had gone to see her rape counselor was because he thought he was helping her, not himself.
"Why didn't he tell me? We talk everyday, sometimes more than once. He keeps telling me everything is fine."
"You know Jed. He doesn't want to burden you. He knew you would come home and he wants you to do what you need to do."
"Well, I guess what I need to do is get home to him. I'm on my way, Leo."
++++
Jed felt strangely restless after his session with Stanley. The man had dredged up feelings inside him that he had suppressed for so long he had thought they were gone. Feelings he thought he had dealt with. Evidently that wasn't the case.
He made his way down the hall to the empty nursery. It was so barren here without his family making all that noise and all those demands that kept him in the present, away from the soul searching that only brought him pain. He moved forward, running his finger over the rail of Nicky's crib. He remembered how scared he had been when Elizabeth was born. How afraid he was that some part of his father lived inside him and he wouldn't be able to love his child. Afraid that somewhere deep inside him there lay violence ready to be unleashed upon an innocent little soul. His fears had been unfounded. He had fallen in love with his slippery, squirming, squalling newborn daughter the minute the doctor took her off Abbey's belly and handed her to him. Abbey had known from the beginning that he would be overcome by love and that he would be a good father, but HE hadn't known it until that moment. As his daughter grew and her sisters came along, his love had only grown stronger.
Then, almost a year ago, when he had watched Nicholas slide out of Abbey's body and seen the tiny penis, evidence that he finally had a son, there had been joy, but also a niggling doubt in the back of his mind. Part of him wondered if the protective love he had for his daughters came from the fact that they were girls, the "weaker" sex. It scared him to think that his feelings for his son might be different. They weren't, not in the least. He felt that same surge of protective love when he looked at his son that he did with any of his daughters.
He left the emptiness of the nursery and made his way down to the Oval office intending to lose himself in some work. However, things did not quite go as he had planned. As he sat at his, desk little flashbacks of his childhood kept filling his thoughts making work impossible.
(When he was four)
"For goodness sake, Jed, stop carrying on like a baby, it's just a skinned knee."
"John, he's only four years old."
"He needs to toughen up, Emily. Men don't cry, Jed. Bartlets don't cry."
(When he was six)
"Why are you digging a hole out here, Jed?"
"Snowball died last night. I'm burying him," Jed bit his lip. At the tender age of six he had already learned that to cry in front of his father meant anger and ridicule.
"That stupid rabbit your grandfather gave you?"
"Snowball wasn't stupid. He was smart and he loved me."
"Don't back talk me, boy," the smack across the face sent Jed sprawling over the hole he was digging.
(When he was 8)
"Jed, why are you wearing those robes?"
"Father Callahan made me a junior altar boy," his big grin revealed a missing front tooth.
"Your mother is bound and determined to turn you into a little papist pansy."
"I'm not a pansy, Dad." The pain seared through Jed's shoulder as his father wrenched his arm behind his back.
"Don't tell ME what you are. I know exactly what you are. You are a little smart aleck and you're far too big for your britches."
(When he was 10)
"Dad, I got first place in the spelling bee," Jed pushed a lock of sandy blond hair back off his forehead impatiently.
"You?" The snort was derisive.
"Tell him, Mother," Jed urged.
"He did, John," Emily said proudly. "You should have seen him. He was so calm, so poised. He did us proud tonight."
"Must have been easy words." All of Jed's excitement and pride in himself deflated at that cold statement. He turned, his shoulders slumped, and he headed back to his bedroom.
"You did good tonight, Jed," Jon whispered in the hall.
"Not good enough," Jed glanced back at the door to his father's study.
(When he was 12)
"Dad, Coach is pitching me in the game today against Holderness. Can you come watch?"
"Why would he pitch you?"
"He say's I've really put some heat on my fast ball and..."
"Jed, I've watched you practicing with Jon. You can't even throw a decent curve."
"Coach said my curve is really coming along nicely."
"Are you saying I don't know my baseball?" The fingers digging into Jed's arm caused him to cringe.
"No sir...it's just that Coach Snyder said..." The quick hard backhand left a red imprint on Jed's face.
"Your precious Coach Snyder doesn't know ANYTHING about you. He doesn't know how you'll choke under pressure."
(When he was 14)
"Dad, I made the basketball team."
"Aren't you a little short for basketball?" The statement brought Jed up short and he stopped dribbling his ball.
"Coach says I'm quick and I'll make a good guard. I know I'm not one of the best players but..."
"Not one of the best?" The sarcastic laughter stung Jed to the core. "You'll be lucky to keep up."
(When he was 16)
"Well, well, Jed. I didn't think you had it in you." The voice caused Jed to pull back from the girl he was kissing so intently behind the gym where the school was having a mixer. "Wait a minute," he turned the flashlight on the girl's face, "you didn't come here with the girls from Mrs. Chase's Day School."
"No, sir," the girl admitted. Jed's heart ached for Colleen's nervousness. After all it was he, who after getting to know her at the library where she worked part time, had convinced her to come to the mixer.
"I should have known. A townie, Jed?" The look in Jed's fathers eyes caused Colleen Anderson to flee from the prep school that she had known she had no business being at. The only reason she had come was Jed Barlet's big blue eyes and his sweet, kind nature.
"Dad, that wasn't very nice. Colleen is..."
"I'll be even less nice if you knock up one of these little townie girls." The finger pointing into his chest hurt. "Those girls are after one thing and one thing only, to hook up with one of you rich prep school boys."
"Colleen isn't like that, Dad. She..."
"Quit thinking with your hormones, Jed. Use those damn brains you're so proud of. There are women you sleep with and women you marry. You want to carry on with one of these townies, you better protect yourself. I will NOT see you marry one of these girls."
(When he was 18)
"Dad, did you hear that I was voted class president?"
"Of course I heard. You're the headmaster's son, they wouldn't dare vote against you." All the hard work Jed had put into the election suddenly meant nothing.
(When he was 21)
"Dad, I just asked Abbey to marry me and she said yes."
"I hope you're going to wait until you get back from London."
"No, we want to get married this summer."
"Look, I know that Abbey is real little looker but you don't have to marry her to sleep with her." Abbey entered the room at the moment and the blush on her cheeks confirmed what John had thought upon seeing his son's flushed features and the hay in his thick hair. "Then again, it looks you I don't have to tell you two that. On HOLY Easter Sunday too, my goodness, what would the Pope think?" John mocked.
"Shut up," Jed's voice was deadly.
"What did you say to me?" There was astonishment in his voice as he grabbed Jed's wrist trying to twist it. Jed yanked his hand out of his father's grip.
"You may think that you can talk to all of us like that, but you will NOT talk to Abbey that way. She is going to be my wife and YOU are going to show her respect."
"Who do you think you are to talk to me like that?"
"Thanks to Abbey I'm just starting to find out who I am. I am the man who is going to walk out of here with my fiancee if you can't keep a civil tongue in your mouth."
(When he was 22)
"What are you two doing huffing and puffing like that?"
"We're practicing Lamaze. I'm helping to teach Abbey how to breathe."
"Abbey doesn't know how to breathe?"
"It's a technique in childbirth that is becoming quite popular. It helps a woman use different breathing methods to handle pain and deliver a baby naturally. We're going to try it."
"What do you mean 'we're'. You mean she is?"
"No, he was right. WE are going to try it. Jed is going to be a big part of this. He has to coach me through everything because with all the pain, I won't be able to remember which techniques I should be using."
"You're going to be IN there? In the delivery room...when the baby is born?"
"Yes. I want to be there to help Abbey and I want to see my baby born."
"A man has no business being anywhere near a delivery room. Any man who would want to watch something like that is just sick." Jed watched his father walk away and felt Abbey squeezed his hand reassuringly. It was funny, but since he had met Abbey his father's disdain and sarcasm didn't hurt nearly as much as it used to. She was what mattered now, not him.
(When he was 37)
"Your mother said Abigail hasn't gotten out of bed in two days. You need to snap her out of this, son."
"We just lost a baby, Dad. She spent hours in agony only to deliver a son who was too little to survive. Jesus Christ, let her grieve."
"I don't understand how she can have that much grief for a child that never existed."
(When he was 40)
"Seaton just called me, Dad. He's conceding. I won the election. I'm the new Governor of New Hampshire."
"Of course you won. You're a Bartlet. With that name, a monkey could have won the election." His eyes locked with Jed's daring him to contradict. Jed could have thrown out the fact that he was only 40 years old, a liberal Democrat in a Republican state, but none of that would have mattered to John Bartlet. Instead, he turned to go and celebrate with his wife and daughters who were giddy with excitement and pride.
TBC...