With all it's intricacies, this "dating" thing is difficult enough by any measure. However, once you step outside the boundries of your own race the complications expand exponentially. It may be a match made in heaven but it must be lived here on earth. And here, often times, race is still a sensitive issue.

Recently, I naively took my boyfriend to a family function and proudly introduced him around, only to have a relative pull me aside and hiss under her breath "sistah girl, that man is white! What were you thinking?" At the time, I was so surprised at the sentiment prompting the question, I could not form a coherent reply. Well, cousin, let me answer you now and tell you exactly what I was thinking.

The first time I saw him I remember thinking that the man had sex appeal. The formal attire, the slow sexy smile and the devil-may-care twinkle in his eyes was a lethal combination. With all I've seen and learned of him since then, my initial assesssment remains correct.

During the course of our relationship, when he gave me unwavering and unconditional love and friendship, I was thinking that it was such a luxury to be able to trust another so completely that there was no need to be anything other than my true self. I was thinking that this was a man I could always depend on and that, no matter what, I would never again be alone.

When we first made love it was a mind blowing lusty coupling and I was thinking that I was lucky to find an excellent lover so completely sexually compatible with myself. Our sex life has since been no less intense or enjoyable.

After seeing him interact with the kids, I was thinking that his family values were refreshing in a era where fathers often make very little effort. He gave them his time and, more importantly, his attention and provided them with not only entertainment but also education and communication.

What I was NOT thinking was that the color of his skin should invalidate any of the above. I am no less pleased with him or proud of him and our relationship because he's white. Nor will I be on the basis of your (or anyone else's) opinions.

Right now, all I'm thinking is that I love this man. Period. No explanations, no excuses. You should be so lucky.