Dear Friend,

I won't name you here as the Internet is too public a forum but youknow who you are.

Being a lifelong loner, I will never know just how you managed to slip in under my defenses. I don't think it was your charm, though you do possess that in abundance. I think it was your persistance, your demand to have more than just my mind, my smile and my body.

I often curse you for the friendship you dragged forth from me. I resist each need to reach out and share with you the good times or the bad. But sometimes the need overcomes the reticence and I seek you out. That you are there always surprises me.

This tentative friendship that I find so at odds with my nature, is a mystery to me. It seems to grow unmindful of my desire to retreat, unheeding of my sense of danger. I know it sounds silly but I often want to say "stop caring, quit being a friend" so that I can find the sense of balance I once had in my aloneness. I say nothing, however, and the friendship grows and I find a smile in the places I least expect it. And I surprise myself in that, despite myself, I enjoy being and having a friend.

As with all great gifts, you gave me the gift of friendship unexpectedly. And as such, I can only say thank you as graciously as possible and try to return the favor.

Bn.