~So who turns on your bulb in the wee small hours? ~If the worlds an egg Border Collie, then this kids the lion stamped on the side ~Do you know the French for duvet? I'm talking 100% cotton ~MMMM I'd like to find your duck down stuck to the soap ~Open Mouth Surgery? Feel my scalpel! ~I know what you're thinking baby and if I was the telly you'd think I was talking     in centimetres! ~You ever done it on a bean bag? Baby I do it inside beanbags! ~Here we are baby ready for action ready for fun ready for love [check watch]      and its only just gone one! Chatup lines for specific locations: The Chemists ~ £180 worth of durex please....Oh sorry force of habit! Breakfast Time ~Get out a box of cereal and a large toy elephant (or other woodland creatures)          pour the cereal on to the table and put the elephant in the middle ~'the last on to find the jungle animal takes off all their clothes' ~remove the elephant ~'alright your turn' That one works a treat! ~Whats two foot long with a big round end.... 'I dont know' ~Neither do I, but I keep finding it in my cornflakes Have no fear ladies and love struck gentlemen, there are more words of              wisdom from Mike Thecoolperson to come!