If Only I Knew Now

 

Chapter 2: A Stranger Among Us

Part 1

"Buffy?"
Willow stopped dead in her retreat, staring at the blonde
woman that had just walked through the door.

"Hey, Will," Buffy greeted her with a smile. "What's wrong? You look
like you just saw a ghost. You didn't, did you? Because I really
don't think I can take any more slaying tonight."

"Buffy, I…"
Willow began, before looking toward Spike, completely at
a loss. "I-is this the bot? Did you get another one made?"

"Bot? That stupid robot version of me?" Buffy asked in disgust. "You
made another one?" She turned, glaring at the vampire before her.

Spike simply stood, staring at the slayer, appearing to not even hear
the questions being thrown to him.
Willow's face fell at the way he
was looking at Buffy, as if she were the most beautiful sight he'd
ever seen. She remembered seeing him look at the slayer like that
once before, when she had raised the girl from the dead, in a
previous existence.

"Spike?" She called out, trying to get his attention. Seeing that it
was no use, she turned back to Buffy. "I-I don't know where you came
from, but…" The redhead stepped forward and made an attempt to lift
up the lower part of Buffy's shirt, checking for the circuit panel,
but the slayer quickly stepped away.

"Hey! Watch it Miss-grabby-hands," Buffy shouted with a little
chuckle. "What's gotten into you, Will? I mean, I know I'm a hottie
and all, but I don't think that
Tara would…" Buffy's voice trailed
off as she saw the look on
Willow's face at the mention of her
girlfriend. Pain, heartache and loss were etching into her features,
and Buffy suddenly felt very confused. "Did you and Tara have an
arguement, or…"

Willow opened her mouth to respond, though she wasn't sure of what to
say, when she suddenly heard footfalls coming down the stairs.

"Hey!" Faith called as she headed down. "Didn't hear any more
fighting, so I figured it was safe to…" The words died on her lips as
Faith found herself standing face to face with Buffy.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Both slayers asked at once. Both
the blonde and brunette turned and gave
Willow a questioning look.
The witch opened and shut her mouth several times, trying to move
past the shock of seeing Buffy and regain her thought process. Spike
remained standing still and silent, staring at Buffy.

"I, um, I'm sure there is a very simple explanation for all of this,"
she told them both hesitantly.

"Did you know that she was out of jail?" Buffy asked, her voice
slightly accusing.

"Well, yeah, I did know that, Buffy,"
Willow responded. "I was sort
of, uh, the one that got her out."

"You what?"

"
It's, um, complicated,"
Willow told her. "And I really wish Giles
were here right now."

"
Willow, what happened?" Faith asked, utterly shocked to see the
supposedly dead slayer before her.

"I have no idea,"
Willow told her, before turning her attention back
to the blond vampire. "Spike? Spike!" Finally, he turned and looked
at her, his eyes dazed and clouded. "Any ideas here?" The vampire
simply turned back toward the blonde woman, staring again.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Buffy asked in irritation,
gesturing toward Spike but not taking her eyes off of the other
slayer.

Suddenly, Spike took a step toward her. "Buffy, I…" He began,
searching for the words he needed to say. Reaching out, he took a
hold of the slayer's hand gently. Faith glanced toward
Willow in
utter confusion, seeing the extremely pained look on the girl's
face. "I don't know how, but I…There's so much that…" Seeing the
slayer brought back a million emotions and thoughts, all of which
seemed completely foreign and wrong to the vampire now. To say that
he felt confused would be more than a slight understatement, but one
thing he knew for sure, he no longer loved this girl before him.

Buffy yanked her hand away quickly, glaring at him in disgust, also
oblivious to the horror and pain radiating from the redhead nearby.

"What are you doing?" She spat at him, before turning back to
Willow. "Willow, I want to know what the hell is going on."

"You aren't the only one, B," Faith argued, stepped in front of the
now shaking witch. "Don't get on her case. This isn't her fault."

"What? What isn't her fault?" Buffy yelled, desperately trying to
understand what was happening.

"I-I'm not exactly sure of where you came from, or-or what you are,
but…"
Willow began, her voice shaky and quiet, her head tilted
downward, not looking at anything but the floor.

"
Willow," Buffy said, moving toward the redhead, "you aren't making
any sense. What is wrong?"

Willow opened her mouth, but was cut off by the front door opening,
and three people walking in, talking loudly.

"And I was like, `look Jessica, you may have the latest pair of
Kenneth Cole shoes, but when it comes time to run from a vampire, in
those heels, you're going to be completely screwed,' a-and then of
course she looked at me like I had ten heads," Dawn told Anya, who
nodded with a smile.

"
Willow!" Xander yelled, as he shut the door, not yet seeing the
group already assembled in the living room. "We're back! Brought you
one fifteen year old girl, complete with two finished homework
assignments, and some question about an essay on a country I've never
heard of, and whoa," Xander stopped, finally looking up as he walked
into the room, and staring at what Anya and Dawn were already
seeing. "Buffy?" He whispered.

Dawn took a few steps toward Buffy, who was looking both angry and
confused. "Buffy?" She mumbled, reaching a hand out and touching her
sister's hair.

"You're looking at me like you haven't seen me in years," Buffy told
the younger girl with a chuckle.

"A year," Dawn mumbled, still staring at her sister.

"What is going on with all of you?" Buffy asked. "And will SOMEONE
tell me exactly what Faith is doing here, and why Spike is acting so
extra creepy?"

"It's really you?" Dawn asked, tears filling her eyes. She turned
toward
Willow. "Did you do this?"

"No!"
Willow exclaimed. "Why does everyone automatically think that?
I mean, just because before I…no." By the end of the statement, the
last bit of wind had left her sails, and
Willow looked again toward
Spike, who was now standing on the far side of the room, keeping a
sideways glance on Buffy.

"Buffy!" Dawn yelled, lunging at her sister, enveloping her in a
tight hug. Buffy jumped in surprise, recovering quickly and hugging
her sister back.

"What is…" Before she could say more, she felt Xander behind her,
wrapping his arms around her as well.

"Wow. Really feeling the love here, a-and that's all great, but
seriously, guys, WHAT is going on?"

Finally Xander and Dawn pulled away, and everyone looked toward
Willow for answers that she didn't seem to have.

"Is she a demon?" Anya whispered a little too loudly.

"I am NOT a demon!" Buffy shouted incredulously. "I'm me! Buffy!"

"
Yes, but Buffy's dead, so then are you zombie Buffy, or ghost Buffy,

or…" Anya began to question.

"I'm not dead! I'm just Buffy-Buffy!" The slayer shouted.

"Could it be The First?" Xander asked
Willow.

"The First?" Buffy growled. "That thing that tried to get Angel to
kill himself?
Why would you think…"


"No,"
Willow shook her head. "We weren't able to touch the first, and
since Buffy is all huggable and...What, um, what do you remember?"
Willow asked wearily. "I mean, uh, What's the last major event you
remember?"

Buffy gave her a skeptical look. "Defeating Glory, obviously," the
slayer responded, glancing around the room, "And, hey, who moved the
furniture around?"

"Defeating Glory?" Xander questioned. "You remember defeating her?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, it was only, like, a few days ago," she
answered, rolling her eyes. "Are you guys under some kind of spell or
something?"

"
You remember defeating Glory," Xander asked again, "and not dying?"


"Dying?" Buffy scoffed. "Why would I remember dying? I didn't…"

"You did," Anya offered with a bright smile that was supposed to be
reassuring. "Everyone was very sad and distraught. It was really
depressing."

"Guys, I think I would remember if I had…"

"Buffy, you did," Dawn told her. "Over a year ago."

"A year?"
The slayer asked. "I don't understand. Just the other day I

was…"

"Dead in the ground," Faith supplied, earning glares from several
people.

"You're trying to tell me that I've been dead? I don't remember
dying. I don't remember rising from the dead."

"What exactly do you remember?" Xander asked.

"I remember defeating Glory. We took a few days to clean up the
demony mess she made, and then partied at the Bronze. Tonight, I went
out on patrol, came home, and you all went `One Flew Over the
Cuckoo's Nest' on me."

"I think we'd better call Giles," Xander said, heading toward the
kitchen phone, followed by Buffy, Dawn and Anya. Once they had all
left the room, Faith turned to
Willow.

"You okay?" She asked the stunned and dejected looking redhead.

Willow shook her head as she looked toward the vampire she
loved. "Spike, I think…" She didn't get any further, as her eyes
followed his quickly moving form out of the house, the door slamming
behind him.

"He's just surprised, and confused," Faith reassured her.

"Somehow, that doesn't make me feel better,"
Willow mumbled, before
the two headed toward the kitchen.

 

Part 2

"So you live here now?"

"Yep."

"
And Faith lives here."

"Yep."

"
And she's not evil?"


"Nope."

"
And Xander and Anya got married?"


"Yep?"

"
Wow. I can't believe they got through the wedding without any

demonish catastrophes."

Willow was about to say something about that, but then just stopped
and smiled slightly.

"And
Tara died?"

"Yeah,"
Willow replied quietly, causing Buffy to wince at the
callous way that she had asked that last question.

"
Willow, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"It's okay,"
Willow told her with a weak smile. "I'm just still
dealing with it all."

"Ok, well, the part I'm still having trouble with is the whole you
traveled back in time, to NOT resurrect me, and save the world from
the First, and now somehow I'm still here."

Willow nodded. "I'm having a little trouble with that myself. I
mean, not that I'm not ecstatically happy that you're here, `cause
big gaping amounts of happy here, but still…"

"I understand," Buffy told her with a reassuring, warm smile. "I
can't believe what you've been through, Will. I mean, everything
you've done, and taking care of Dawn, and just I don't know what to
say."

"I just did what I had to do,"
Willow told her. "Coming back, it
wasn't one hundred percent unselfish. I mean, there was
Tara, who…"

"You lost in the end, anyway. So you still ended up alone." Buffy
looked guilty-stricken.
Willow didn't know exactly how much she
should tell Buffy about her and Spike. He hadn't returned home that
evening, and she had yet to hear from him, which had the witch more
than a little worried. Fortunately, she had the daunting task of
filling Buffy in on the last year, more or less, though now her eye
lids were growing increasingly heavy as exhaustion began to set in.

"Actually, I haven't really been completely alone,"
Willow told
her. "Spike and I…He's sort of…well…been there for me. At first, it
was just a friendship kind of thing, but eventually, it grew into,
well, something more."

Buffy's eyes widened in shock. "You? You and Spike? Wow. I…I don't
know what to say. Spike? Really? Spike?"

Willow nodded. "It's hard to explain really. It just…it just
happened. But, I love him Buffy, and he loves me. We…I needed him, a-
and I think that he needed me and…and it just…it just works."

"Wow," Buffy replied after a long pause. "I don't really know what
to say."

"Well, you don't have to say anything,"
Willow told her
hurriedly. "Really. I just…you know…I just wanted you to know. No
secrets, right?'

Buffy nodded. "It might take a little getting used to," she admitted.

"That's okay,"
Willow told her with a smile, feeling relief at the
slayers reaction. "It took me a while, too."

"You're tired," Buffy said, seeing the redhead yawn for the tenth
time in five minutes. "I'll let you get some rest." She stood up
from the bed she was perched on and headed toward the door of
Willow's room. "My room is still…"

"Same one,"
Willow told her with a smile, before the blonde left,
shutting the door behind her.

Willow laid back on the bed, too tired to bother changing her
clothes or pull up the blankets, and closed her eyes, only to have
them open again a moment later hearing a knock at the door.

Calling out an invitation, she was surprised to see Spike walk in,
and she sat up, suddenly more alert. A million questions swirled in
her head, but none seemed to make it to her lips as he walked in and
sat on the end of the bed, where Buffy had been a few moments
earlier. They both sat for several minutes, just looking at one
another, before she could finally stand the silence no longer.

"Where have you been?" She asked, nothing but curiosity in her
voice
.


"Around," he answered vaguely.

She raised her eyebrows at the lack of information. "I was getting
worried."

"Shouldn't have," he said a bit gruffly. "Just needed to think for a
while."

"
And, uh, come to any interesting conclusions?" She asked. The

vampire simply shook his head, leaving them once again to sit in the
awkward silence, before he finally spoke.

"I talked to Giles," he told her, surprising the redhead a bit. "He
said you were filling Buffy in on what's been happening."
Willow
nodded. "Did you tell her about…"

"Us?" She asked, the word whispered hoarsely. Spike nodded
slightly. "Well, at first I thought it would be better to wait
until…"

"Good," he interrupted, surprising her a little bit more, a bolt of
pain slicing through her. "I mean, yeah, we should wait until…" The
words faded away and
Willow simply nodded, looking down. She didn't
have it in her to explain that she had told Buffy.

"I'm going to stay with the watcher for a while," Spike told her,
waiting for her to look up at him again, but
Willow continued to
look down at her hands in her lap and nod. "Figured that would be
for the best."


Willow bit down on her lower lip, willing the tears away and finally
looked up. "Are we still, I mean, are you..."

"I'm still yours,
Willow," he replied in a low, raspy voice. The
tears finally spilled forth as he pulled her closer and kissed her
forehead gently, before standing up and silently walking out.
Neither noticed the blonde slayer listening across the hall.

 

Part 3

"So the question really is, how did I get here," Buffy stated,
looking around the shop.

"We're looking into it,"
Willow told her. The redhead sounded as
tired as she looked, and was appreciative of the fact that everyone
seemed to accept that her puffy red eyes were due to a late night of
researching and talking with Buffy. She was also glad of the fact
that Spike had not joined them at the Magic Box.
Willow didn't
think that she could handle watching him watch Buffy just then.

"Maybe the higher-ups just decided that I was needed down here,"
Buffy suggested.

"Already got a slayer," Faith stated in a scornful voice. "Doin just
fine without you."

"
Oh, right," Buffy shot back. "And I remember just how great a

slayer you were before…"

"Guys!"
Willow interrupted, effectively stopping both slayers with
the one word.

"Is it possible that The First brought her back?" Xander
questioned. "Like when it brought Angel back from hell."

Willow shook her head, rubbing her temples. "I don't think so. The
First brought Angel back to destroy Buffy, so I doubt that it would
want to suddenly ressurect her. We should have more information once
Giles gets here. He was going to call a few contacts to see if they
had heard any-"
Willow was cut off by the ominous bell ringing over
the door. Everyone turned and looked up, seeing the older
Englishman walking in.

Giles scanned the room and stopped his steps as his eyes fell on the
petite blonde slayer standing near the register. The watcher let
out a gasp.

"Buffy," he whispered. A moment later, she found herself enveloped
in the strong arms of the man she considered a father, a deep sense
of protection and safety overwhelming her.

"My god, it's really you," he whispered, refusing to let go just yet.

"In the flesh," she mumbled back.

Finally, Giles pulled away, still holding onto her shoulders, as if
he was afraid that letting go completely would cause the girl to
disappear.

"You look wonderful," he told her.

"Yeah, I guess I'm looking pretty good for a gal that was dead just
a day ago," she quipped, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the way
everyone was watching her. "So, um…any idea what's going on?"

Giles shook his head, finally stepping away completely. "Nothing
yet," he told her. "But I have several people looking into it.
Something should turn up soon, I hope."

Buffy let out a deep sigh. "Until then?" She had never been known
for her patience. The slayer much more preferred to be pointed in
the direction of something to kill. Sitting and waiting had never
exactly been her forte.

"Well, um…Dawnie needs to be picked up from school," Willow offered,
sitting down with a book that she already knew would hold no
answers. Faith was about to stand up and head out. She was, after
all, the one that looked after Dawn the most as of late, but the
brunette stopped when she saw Buffy head toward the door.

"Great!" The blonde said cheerily, glad to have something to do.
Before anyone could say anything more, she was out the door.

"So, what do you think?"
Willow asked Giles, once Buffy was gone.

"I have absolutely no idea," he admitted. "I've spoken to several
people at the council, but as I suspected, they are less than
forthcoming with information. They claim to not know why she is
here, but I'm not entirely sure just how much we can trust them
right now."

"Well, I gotta get back to the site," Xander announced, kissing Anya
and heading out the door. His wife grabbed a box from the checkout
counter and moved toward the stock room, while Faith picked up an
ax, twirling it in her hand as she walked toward the training room.

"Up for a little sparring?" She asked Giles. The watcher smiled.
He knew the brunette needed to work off a little steam.

"I'll be right in," he told her, watching as she disappeared through
the doorway. Once they were alone, the older man turned his
attention toward the distracted redhead at the table. "Are you
alright, Willow?"

"Hmmm? What?" She looked up, startled by his voice. "Oh, I'm fine,"
she stated, her tone of voice begging to differ.

"Spike is at my flat," he told her, his voice slightly hushed. He
noted the way her eyes widened at his name and the pained expression
that spread across her face.
Willow simply nodded, biting her lower
lip and looking down miserably.

Giles let out a deep sigh and moved to sit next to the
girl. "
Willow, I suppose it's no secret that I am less than fond of
Spike," he told her. "But I've seen the way that he treats you, the
way he looks at you. He loves you,
Willow. Of that I have no
doubt. The recent appearance of Buffy…I'm sure that it's thrown him
for a bit of a loop, but have a little faith in him. When he loves,
I believe it's complete and absolute."

Willow looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "But he loved
Buffy," she whispered. "I mean, he really loved her. You don't
remember, I know, a-and maybe he doesn't either. But he loved her
so much. Giles, he got a soul for her."

The watcher's eyes widened at that new information. "That may be,
Willow. But that was in the past. Here and now, he loves you. I
believe that, and you should too. Whatever that Spike in your other
past was like…whomever he loved, it is of no consequence now. He
loves you. Believe in that."

Willow nodded as he stood up and turned toward the training room and
his waiting slayer.

"Giles,"
Willow called after him. She wanted to tell him…tell him
that even though things were different, they still kept turning out
the same.
Tara was still dead, Buffy was back, and now Spike would…
but she saw the kindness in his eyes, along with the joy of having
Buffy back again, and couldn't bear to dampen that. "Thank you,"
she said finally, with a weak smile, which he returned with a warm
one of his own.

~*~

"Buffy!"
Dawn called out as she skipped down the steps of the
school. "You're picking me up?"

"Of course, silly," Buffy responded with a smile. "Don't I alwa-"
The words died on her lips, as Buffy remembered that she couldn't
have really been the one to always pick Dawn up. For a moment, the
slayer felt the same as she had when she had discovered that Dawn
had not always been her sister. Her memories had been altered, and
then she realized, this must have been how Dawn felt, knowing that
her existence, at least part of it, had never really happened. It
left her feeling slightly lost and weak, not knowing what was
reality
and what was the false memories.


"Well, I'm here now," Buffy said, forcing a smile.

"Good," Dawn responded, hugging her sister tightly. "I mean, not
that I mind when Faith picks me up, but then the whole way home
usually ends up being some lesson about how I'm more powerful than
the most bad ass bad guy, a-and how the stake is my weapon, and more
mighty than anything they might throw at ya."

"Really?" Buffy asked. What exactly had Faith been teaching her?
She was more powerful than any demon? Lessons like that were sure
to get her killed in no time at all. After all, hadn't it been that
exact line of thinking that had led Faith down the dark path that
she had chosen to begin with? "What, uh…what other stuff has Faith
been teaching you?"

"Oh, you know," Dawn said with a slight smirk. "How to skin a man
alive, and the many different torture techniques to get a captive to
talk."

"
What?" Buffy gasped.


"Buff, I'm kidding," Dawn laughed, seeing her sister glare at
her. "Faith really isn't that bad, once you get to know her. I
mean, at first, I pretty much didn't want to have anything to do you
with her, you know? It was like, I was worried that it would be like
trying to replace you with her, but then I realized…Getting to know
her was like getting to know a part of you that I had never met,
both of you being slayers and all. She knew stories about when you
used to patrol together and, just, stuff that no one else knew."

"Yeah? Did she happen to mention the time she killed a man?" Buffy
asked snidely.

"I know she's done some stuff wrong, Buffy. We all have," Dawn
defended.

"We didn't all kill a guy and then turn toward the enemy for help,"
Buffy told her. "She's dangerous."

"No, she's not. She's changed, Buffy. If you get to know her,
you'll see that she really has," Dawn told her. "She's trying so
hard, and once you get in a little deeper, she kinda reminds me a
lot of you."

"I am NOTHING like Faith!" Buffy yelled in outrage. Dawn rolled her
eyes and gave her a knowing look. "I'm not!" The blonde insisted.
The younger girl decided to drop the issue for the time being, happy
to just enjoy being with her sister again, and not wanting to spoil
the time she had with her by arguing.

"So how's
Willow doing?" Buffy asked, changing topics. "I mean,
really. How's she holding up?"

"She's okay," Dawn told her. "She's slowly moving past
Tara's death
and everything that happened last year. It wasn't easy for her, and
most of us, we didn't really help too much. But Spike, he really
pulled her through it, you know?"

"Spike?" Buffy asked, sounding surprised. "She mentioned something
about that."

"Well, yeah. I mean, he was there for her, you know? More than the
rest of us, anyway.
I didn't notice it at first, but now, when I

watch him, watching her, I don't know how I could have missed it
before."

"Missed what?" Buffy questioned.

"The way he loves her," Dawn explained with a broad smile. "He'd
die for her."

"Wow," Buffy said quietly, her eyes narrow and calculating.

"Yeah. I mean, if it wasn't for Spike, I really don't know if
Willow
would have come through it all. He was the one that stopped her
from going all dark-magic-wicca-girl. If he hadn't been there, I
don't really know if she would have made it."

Buffy nodded, her mind reeling at the newfound information, and they
continued to head home in silence.

 

Part 4

"Now remember, tomorrow's test will be open book, but that doesn't
mean that you shouldn't study," the professor called out, as the
auditorium of students packed up their books at the end of class.
Willow tucked her textbook into her new bag and stood up, slipping
the straps over her shoulder. Stepping out into the hallway, the
redhead paused as several students pushed past her. She heard a
friend saying goodbye as she passed, but didn't seem to notice.

He wasn't there. Spike always came by to walk her home from her night
class. Each and every time, she had stepped out of the room, and
into his overprotective arms. As she scanned the emptying hallway,
Willow's green eyes filled with tears at the realization that he
hadn't come. He had forgotten about her.

With a dejected sigh, the redhead closed her eyes, willing the tears
away, and trudged down the hall and out of the building, steeling
herself. She would go home, to Buffy's home. Suddenly, it didn't
feel so much like her home anymore. It was full of people and full of
life, but the one person that she longed to see wouldn't be there.
Spike wouldn't be there, and she didn't know how she would be able to
stand another night without him.

~*~

"So, Dawn tells me that you've been teaching her about slaying,
training her," Buffy said casually, as she and Faith meandered
through the cemetery.

"Yeah, well, you know, girl's gotta learn somewhere. We don't teach
her, she'll learn all about demon fighting from the bad crowd," Faith
told her with a smirk.

"Last time I checked, you were the bad crowd," Buffy stated dryly, a
slight smile on her face.

"Yeah, well, things change. I've changed," Faith replied.

"So everyone keeps telling me."

"Then I guess it must be true."

"You shouldn't be telling her those things though," Buffy stated,
looking toward the brunette slayer. "She isn't invincible, Faith. I
mean, WE aren't even invincible, and she isn't a slayer."

"Never told her she was invincible," Faith argued. "Just teaching
the girl how to fight back, you know? I mean, she's going to school
on the Hellmouth, B. What else is she supposed to do?"

"How about study, and do her homework, and sneak out to kiss boys,
and lie about going to fraternity parties, like normal girls," Buffy
stated, her anger rising.

"She isn't a normal girl!" Faith retorted. "Come on, Buffy. She lives
with two slayers, a witch and…"

"And what?" Buffy was hoping Faith would confirm what she had
suspected about a certain vampire, but Faith seemed to catch herself
in time.

"And it's inevitable that she's going to have to fight," Faith
replied. "She should know how to protect herself."

"I'm all for Dawn being able to protect herself," Buffy told her. "I
gave her a cell phone, so that if anything happens, she can…"

"A cell phone? Come on!" Faith yelled. "A vamp'll have her neck torn
out before she dials your number. She needs to know how to really
protect herself."

"You aren't telling her how to protect herself, Faith," Buffy
argued. "You're telling her how to hunt and how to kill. You're
telling her how to do what we do every night, and you know what?
She's NOT a slayer."

"Xander and
Willow weren't slayers either, but they went out on
patrol with you," the brunette pointed out.

The blonde let out deep sigh. "I want something better for her," she
told her. "I don't want her living in the dark, like we do. It's too
dangerous."

"Well, that might not be your decision," Faith told her. "You live
in Sunnydale, and Dawn is well aware of things that go bump in the
night, and you might wanna play the protective big sister, but if you
don't prepare her to fight and defend herself, you're handing her an
early death sentence."

"Don't tell me how to look after my own sister," Buffy ground out,
having heard more than enough. "I'll do what I think is right. I'm
her sister. I'm her flesh and blood. Not you."

"Yeah, well I'm the one who's been looking after her the last year,
not you," Faith shot back. "Do you know what classes she's taking
this year? Who her teachers are? What the name of the boy she has a
crush on is? Yeah, didn't think so."

Buffy visibly flinched at the words. Of course she didn't know. She
had no way of knowing. The entire last year of her life was gone, and
Faith's words hit closer to home than Buffy liked. There really was
so much about Dawn that she didn't know, and it angered her to no end
that the dark haired slayer could know more about her sister than she
did. Looking down for a moment, her hands fisted at her sides,
Buffy's eyes flashed red, though neither girl noticed.

"I want you gone," Buffy told her. "I want you gone, out of the
house, tonight." Faith's eyes widened at the growled words, and she
opened her mouth, ready to protest, but then shut it again, thinking
better of it, and simply nodded. Turning and walking in the opposite
direction, Faith went in search of something to slay, hoping for a
violent kill before she headed home to collect her things.

 

Part 5

Willow walked into the cemetery, taking her usual shortcut home. Of
course, she was normally accompanied by a blond vampire, but the
powerful witch knew that she was more than able to take care of
herself, should the need to arise. Things had been quiet, lately
though, and she didn't suspect that she would run into any trouble.

Passing one of the older mausoleums, the redhead paused, feeling
something strange hit her as she passed. There seemed to be a faint,
magical energy coming from inside the building. Cautiously
approaching, the witch slowly opened the door and peeked inside,
surprised to see nothing but empty darkness. Closing the door, she
walked away with a shrug, still feeling the tingling sensation of
unseen magic. She would have to mention that to Giles later.

~*~

Several feet below ground, the man paused in his chanting, glancing
up toward the dirt above. He felt her presence as she entered the
mausoleum, and then watched until she was gone. Once he was sure that
the redhead had left, the Witch Doctor continued with his chanting,
holding up the blond doll and smearing a bit of the blood-red potion
across the lips with a deep chuckle.

The fun was only beginning.

~*~

Spike stalked through the cemetery, looking for something evil to
kill. His head ached with confusion, and though he knew he should be
out looking for
Willow, he couldn't bring himself to do so just yet.
The vampire had no idea what to say to the girl he loved. Buffy had
suddenly appeared, just when his unlife seemed to be going so
perfectly, and the sight of her had caught him completely off guard.
He suspected that
Willow was a bit worried at his reaction to seeing
Buffy, but he was sure that she understood his confusion, and that
she knew how much he loved her. He had to get past his mixed
feelings for the slayer before he could confront his witch, and
thought that working out a bit of his frustration on a demon first,
was the safest bet.

"Spike!" Letting out a sigh and rolling his shoulders, Spike turned
around, taking one last drag from the cigarette he was smoking,
before tossing it to the ground. Looked like he wouldn't be getting
that kill in after all.


"Slayer," he greeted the blonde as she quickly walked toward him.

"What are you doing out here?" Buffy asked.

"It's the cemetery. I'm a vampire. What do you think I'm doin?" He
asked in slight annoyance. Of course, it wasn't her fault that he was
having the sudden conflicting emotions, but that never stopped Spike
from taking his frustration out on anyone before.

"You know, I just wanted to say thank you," she said, surprising him
with her words.

"For what, exactly?" He asked cautiously.

"Well, I mean, I know it was a while ago for you, a-and a lot has
happened, but for me, well, the whole thing with Glory, it sorta just
happened, and I…well, I remember what you said to me, about loving
me, and about me treating you as more than just a demon, a-and about
you keeping the promise to watch after Dawn. You did, and…and I just
wanted to say thank you."

"Yeah, well, let it never be said that I'm not a demon of my word,"
he stated dismissively. "Think nothing of it."

"No, Spike, really," Buffy went on, taking a few steps closer, so
that she was almost touching him, and speaking in a low, almost husky
voice. "I really mean it. Thank you. And…and I know I never treated
you the way I should have. I should have been…better."

Spike shook his head, taking a step back. "Water under the bridge,"
he told her, his voice sounding uneasy. "A lot has changed since
then."

"Has it?" She asked, taking another step forward, causing Spike to
take several more backwards, until he came up against a tree. Buffy
moved forward, nearly chest to chest with the vampire again, and
reached down to take his hand in hers. "How much, exactly, has
changed, I wonder."

Yanking his hand away, Spike responded harshly. "Yeah, it has. Things
are different now."

"But you still love me, don't you?" The slayer questioned, running
her fingers over his leather clad arm, batting her eyelashes at
him. "I bet I know how to really make you feel like a man," she
whispered in a low, sensual tone.

"Hey, now," Spike replied, grabbing her by the shoulders and trying
to shove the girl away. "Buffy, you should know that…I don't feel
the way I once did for you. There's…"

"Shhh," Buffy interrupted, placing a finger over his lips. "You
don't need to say a thing."

"Actually, I think that…" He was growing angry, his words once again
cut off.

This time Buffy leaned up on her toes and brushed her lips against
his, catching the vampire completely off guard. Spike gasped,
opening his mouth slightly, allowing her the chance to slip her
tongue between his lips. He never heard the other soft gasp behind
him, though Buffy did, as
Willow stopped, seeing the scene playing
out before her. Walking through the dark cemetery, she had just come
upon Spike and Buffy, engaged in what appeared to be a passionate lip
lock. The redhead gasped, her hand flying up to cover her mouth, as
the tears that had been threatening to fall all evening finally did.

Buffy smirked against Spike's mouth as she felt his hands tighten on
her shoulders, trying to push her away, and she quickly reached out,
tangling one hand in his hair, while the other went around to squeeze
his ass. She opened one eye, glancing over to see
Willow drop her
bag to the ground before the redhead turned and ran away. A moment
later, Spike was finally able to push the slayer off of him.

"Buffy, stop!" He yelled, holding her at bay. "Listen to me. I can't
do this with you. I might have wanted you at one point, but there's
someone else now. I love her. I'm sorry." Spike didn't notice as a
red light flickered in the slayer's eyes, and Buffy suddenly stumbled
backwards, grabbing her head.

"Huh? What? Spike?" She looked up at him in confusion.

"Look, I'm sorry," he told her gruffly. "I know this is all confusing
for you, but we can't do this."

"This? Uh, right…no this. What, um…what exactly are you doing here?"
She asked. The last thing Buffy remembered was walking with Faith,
arguing about Dawn. She hadn't even been entirely aware of what they
had fought about, and then suddenly, here she was, standing in front
of a slightly disheveled looking Spike, who was making little to no
sense.

The blond vampire gave her a confused look. "You feelin alright?" He
asked.

"Yeah, just, you know…a little disoriented, and slightly
embarrassed," she told him with a bashful chuckle.

Spike nodded, assuming that she was embarrassed about kissing
him. "Let's just forget it happened," he suggested.

"Right. Good," Buffy agreed. "Already completely forgotten." At that,
she turned and headed off, stake in hand, her legs slightly
unsteady. Spike moved to go in the other direction, pausing as he
caught a certain scent, and walked a few feet back from where they
had been standing. Looking down, he was surprised to see a familiar
looking bag on the ground. Reaching down, he lifted it up and looked
inside, his suspicions proven true. It was
Willow's. His stomach
dropped at the realization, and he knew. She must have seen them
kissing. Turning toward the direction of their home, Spike ran
through the darkness, desperate to find the redhead as soon as
possible and try to explain what she had seen.

 

Part 6

Buffy walked through the back door, flipping the light switch in the
kitchen, and jumping slightly as she found a distraught looking
Willow sitting at the table. Seeing the tear tracks on the girls
face, Buffy quickly moved to sit next to her, surprised as the
redhead flinched and moved away.

"
Willow, what's wrong?" Buffy asked, her voice full of genuine worry.

"How could you?"
Willow whispered, looking up slightly, as her
shoulders remained hunched forward and she looked utterly defeated.

"What? What did I do?" Buffy asked urgently, not understanding the
question.

"I saw you!"
Willow shouted suddenly. "I saw you and Spike in the
cemetery!"

"Saw us? Will, I don't know what you think you saw, but…"

"I saw you kissing, Buffy,"
Willow told her, glaring at her
accusingly. "Don't try to deny it. I know what I saw. How could you?
After I told you about he and…How could you?" Her voice cracked and a
sob escaped as she shook with anger and pain. Looking down for a
moment, she didn't see as a sudden red light flashed in Buffy's eyes
and her posture stiffened.

"What did you expect, Willow?" The slayer asked in a cold, harsh
tone, startling the witch.
Willow's head shot up, and she stared at
her friend incredulously. "You know, you came back here and you took
over some of my duties, but I don't really think I expected that to
include fucking the undead."
Willow gaped at her friend, unable to
believe that she was saying these things to her.

"Buffy, how can you…"

"Come on, Willow!" Buffy interrupted. "How could you really think
that Spike would actually need or want you, once I was back? I'm the
one he really loves. You were just a cheap substitute."

Willow visibly flinched at the words, biting her lip to the point of
nearly drawing blood.

"Buffy, how can you say this to me?" She whispered.

"I appreciate all your help, Wills, really," Buffy stated, her voice
condescending and thick with sarcasm. "But I'm back now, and you
really aren't needed anymore."

"What?"
Willow was reeling from this conversation, and all that had
happened in the last day. "Buffy…"

"I think it would be best for everyone, if you just left, now," Buffy
told her. Not having the will left to fight,
Willow nodded, standing
up and pushing the chair back, before heading out the door.

Across town, the Witch Doctor smiled as he once again wiped the red
potion from the voodoo doll's lips, a cruel grin upon his own.

~*~

Spike practically ran through the front door, and headed up the
stairs toward
Willow's room. Finding the bedroom dark and empty, the
vampire called out for the redhead as he headed back into the hall.
He was surprised when Faith stopped him at the top of the stairs.

"What the hell did you do with Buffy?" Faith questioned angrily, her
grip on his arm tight.

Spike glared at the slayer. He didn't have time for this.

"Really don't want to talk about it with you, slayer," he growled,
yanking his arm free. "Where's
Willow?"

"Well, lucky for me I don't care what you want." Spike gave her an
incredulous glare.

"Look, Spike, I care about that girl.
Willow's my friend, and I care
about her. And believe me, that is something I never thought I would
say, but it's true. And, despite everything, I think you're actually
good for each other. Or, well, I did until I heard her and Buffy
arguing down stairs."

"She was talking to Buffy?" He asked urgently, moving to head back
down the stairs before Faith caught his arm once again.

"Spike, what the hell happened?" She asked, her tone making it clear
that he'd better answer her.

Spike let out a deep sigh, once again yanking his arm free. "I was
walking through the cemetery, ran into Buffy. She kissed me. It's
complicated. I think that
Willow saw us."

"She was kissing you? Why would Buffy…"

"I have no bloody clue," he told her honestly. "Wasn't my idea."

Faith arched an eyebrow, clearly questioning that last
statement. "You need to find
Willow," Faith told him.

"She's not here?" He asked in surprise.

Faith shook her head. "She and Buffy got into a big argument. B said
some pretty harsh things, told
Willow to leave. Actually, she kicked
us both out tonight." Spike's arched an eyebrow at that. "Something's
up with her. I mean, Buffy kicking me out, not a huge shock, but the
things she was saying to
Willow? She was just being down right cruel.
You need to find
Willow and talk to her, explain exactly why your
lips were attached to Buffy's."

"You need to keep your nose out of other people's business, slayer. I
can handle this on my own."

"Right. I can see what a great job you're doing of that right now.
If you aren't careful, you're gonna blow this, buddy!"

"Faith," he growled.

"You guys have made it through so much crap," Faith point out. "And
now what?
Buffy comes back and you're going to just forget all about

Willow?"

"No! Why would you think that? I love her. I'm just confused."

"Buffy isn't the end all be all of existence, Spike."

"Don't you think I know that?" He shouted.

"Yeah, I do," she replied, surprising him. "But
Willow doesn't. For
her, it's always been about Buffy. Always."

"
I love
Willow," he told her.

"Don't tell me, stud. Tell the girl."

 

Part 7

Pulling the front door open, Xander was more than a little surprised
to see a crying
Willow standing before him. He quickly ushered his
friend into the apartment and shut the door, leading her into the
living room, where Anya was sitting with Dawn, playing a board game.

"
Willow, what's wrong?" The younger girl asked, jumping up and taking
the redhead's hand as she walked toward the couch in a daze. "
Willow?"

Anya stood up next to Xander, whispering to him. "What's wrong with
her?" She asked in concern. "She looks broken." Xander shrugged.

"Wills, what happened?" He asked, kneeling down in front of his best
friend as she sat.
Willow turned her watery green eyes up toward the
young man, startling him with their vacant stare. She opened her
mouth, as if to speak, but then closed it again a moment later,
saying nothing.

"
Willow, please tell us what's wrong," Dawn pleaded. She hadn't seen
the girl like this since
Tara's death, and had no idea what to do.

Willow's head jerked around to look toward Dawn suddenly, and her
eyes grew more despondent.

"Dawnie," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Dawn questioned, feeling panic building. "Sorry for what?"

"I'm not going to be around anymore," the redhead mumbled. "I have
to go away."

"Go away? Willow, honey, what are you talking about?" Xander
questioned, holding her free hand tightly.

"Buffy," the redhead mumbled, a sob escaping her lips. "She's back,
and I have to go away."

"No you don't," Dawn told her urgently. "You don't have to go just
because Buffy's back. She wouldn't want you to just…"

"She told me, a-and I can't stay there anymore,"
Willow sobbed.
Xander looked toward Anya with a questioning glance.
Willow wasn't
making any sense. Buffy would never just tell
Willow to leave.

"I saw them, and she's back, and I have to go," the redhead continued
to mumbled.

"
Willow, I don't understand," Dawn told her, her own eyes becoming
watery at the broken, vacant sound of her friend's voice. "Who did
you see?"

"Buffy and Spike,"
Willow stated, looking at no one in
particular. "He loves her."

"
Willow, if there's one thing I know for sure, it's that Spike is in
love with you. He's so sweet with you, it's enough to make us sick,"
Anya told her, trying to reassure the distraught girl.
Willow simply
shook her head.

"She's right, Will," Xander added. "The guy's crazy about you."

"You don't understand!"
Willow shouted suddenly, standing up. "You
weren't there before! You didn't see! He loved her so much…a-and now
that she's back…It's all the same! It never changes! He loves her!"

Before anyone could say anything more, the redhead broke down
sobbing, falling back onto the couch.

"Dawn, why don't you take
Willow into the bedroom," Xander whispered.
The younger girl nodded, helping
Willow up and leading her into the
bedroom, grabbing a box of tissues along the way.

Once the door was closed, Xander and Anya turned and looked at one
another.

"I don't know what the hell is going on," Xander told her
angrily, "but I will find out."

Grabbing his coat and marching toward the door, he was just about to
grab the knob when the door flew open, startling him and nearly
knocking him off his feet. He and Anya both looked up to see Faith
come storming into the apartment.

"Ever hear of knocking?" He asked in annoyance, eyeing the large bag
that Faith was carrying.

"Not now, Xander," Faith practically growled. "Is
Willow here?"

"What's all this?" Xander questioned, gesturing toward the bag she
had slung over her shoulder.

Faith rolled her eyes. "I'm not moving in," she told him.

"Well that's a relief," Anya told her. "This apartment is already
getting pretty darn crowded and…"

"Is
Willow here or not?" The slayer interrupted.

"Yeah, she is," Xander told her. "What the hell is going on?"

"Not sure. Something's wrong with Buffy."

"Yeah, I was starting to get that impression.
Willow said something
about seeing Buffy and Spike kissing."

"She's resting now," Dawn stated, walking out from the
bedroom. "She's exhausted, so I think she'll sleep for a little
while. What happened?" She turned toward Faith. "
Willow said Buffy
told her to leave?"

"Yeah, big sis isn't exactly acting like herself," Faith told her
gravely.

"You think this might have something to do with her sudden
reappearance?" Xander asked. "Like, maybe it isn't really Buffy at
all?"

"It is Buffy!" Dawn insisted. "I would know if it wasn't really her.
I would…I would know."

"Course you would," Faith appeased. "It's just…she isn't acting like
herself. Kissing Spike and then…the things she said to
Willow…B
wouldn't say those things."

"So she kissed Spike and then got into a fight with
Willow?" Xander
asked, trying to sum up exactly what had been happened.

"Yep, all after she tossed me out," Faith replied with a nod.

"What? Why?" Dawn questioned, becoming increasingly upset.

"We had a disagreement about taking you on patrol and training you,"
Faith told her. "Buffy doesn't want me teaching you how to fight."

"Why not? I'm not a kid anymore," Dawn argued indignantly. "I mean,
hello! I'm the same age that she was when she started slaying."

"Yeah, but Dawn, you aren't a slayer," Xander reminded her.

"Neither were you," she shot back.

"Right, and we've all had this conversation already," Faith cut
in. "The point is, Buffy doesn't want me training you anymore."

"Well, tough!" Dawn responded. "I want you to teach me. If I'm going
to get attacked, I'd like to be able to defend myself."

"Right, well B thinks a cell phone'll do the job," Faith told her,
scoffing.

"Yeah, well…actually, I like the phone. Let's not discount the phone.
It has 72 different rings, and this little animated…okay, so not the
point. The point is…"

"The point is that Buffy isn't acting like herself, and we don't know
why," Xander summed up.

"Right, so the question is, what do we do about it?" Anya asked.

 

Part 8

"Girl troubles?"
The bartender gave Spike a sympathetic look as he
poured him another drink. The vampire glanced up, scowling.

"What's it to you, mate?"

The bartender shrugged, holding his hands up in mock
surrender. "Hey, now. Just askin. You looked pretty down, and
generally, a guy comes in alone, lookin the way you do, it's girl
troubles. Some pretty little thing won't give you the time of day?
That it? Doesn't think you're good lookin enough?"

"Hey!" Spike shouted indignantly. "I am plenty good lookin! Ain't
nothin like that." Thinking back on the past evening, the vampire
snorted. "Too many girls is more like it."

"Ah," the bartender nodded. "Can't choose between `em, that it? I'll
tell ya man, they're all alike. They'll take ya for all ya got and
then dump ya in a heart beat for the next available..."

"Nah, ain't like that," Spike interrupted with a wave of his hand,
taking a gulp of his drink. "Not with Red anyway. Loyal to the end,
that one is, and perfect to a fault. Hell, even her faults are
perfect! I messed up big this time." The bartender leaned an elbow
against the dark oak counter, listening to the blond. "What the hell
was I thinking? Gods, that girl…You know, she's the smartest little
thing I've ever met. So bright and clever, and she always finds a
way to make me smile, even when I'm feelin lower `en the dirt I
crawled outta."

"So what's the problem, then?"

"The problem? The problem is that I had to go and get all caught up
in the slayer comin back."

"Did you just say the slayer?" The bartender asked in a hushed
voice, glancing around at the demon patrons, a few of which had
perked up at hearing the name. "Faith?" He wasn't exactly fond of
the brunette. She'd come in causing a commotion, looking for
information, on more than one occassion in the last year.

"Not that one," Spike replied with a scornful chuckle. "The other
one.
Always screws everything up. Just when everything seems to be

goin so well, she shows up, and then suddenly she's all over me,
askin if I still loved her. You know, before she left, I would have
done anything to prove my love. But now…"

"Now, what?"

"
Willow," Spike whispered. "She's everything, and I blew it." Spike
laughed bitterly. "Knew I'd do somethin to screw it up sooner or
later."

"
So you love the girl?" The bartender questioned.


Spike looked up at him, thinking about the question for a moment
before smiling slightly. "Yeah, I do."

"Then it seems to me you should be tellin her how you feel,
instead'a sittin in here, serenadin the whiskey."

The blond shook his head. "Tried. Can't find her. Looked just about
everywhere I could think of. Sides, pretty sure she won't be ready
to listen just yet. She got hurt real bad tonight. Slayer didn't
help."

"Did you say the Slayer? You talking about the blonde one?" Spike
turned around, finding a large blue demon standing behind him.

"Maybe. What's it to you? Didn't you ever learn it ain't polite to
listen in to another demon's conversation. Get you nice and dead if
you aren't careful."

"I wouldn't be slinging threats if I were you," the blue demon shot
back.

"Hey, guys, not in here," the bartender entreated. "Take it outside,
huh?"

"The Slayer's back?" The demon questioned, ignoring the man behind
the bar. Spike just shot him a glare, not answering. "Well ain't
that just perfect timing?"

"Why's that?" Spike asked, suddenly feeling curious.

"New Dominion coming and all," the demon told him. "Just seems funny
that the slayer should suddenly return now, don't you think?"

"New Dominion?" Spike questioned. "What's that?"

The demon glanced around, as if suddenly nervous that someone else
might be listening in. "Death," he answered with a hushed whisper.
Spike's eyes narrowed, not sure he liked the sound of that.

The demon turned and walked away as Spike looked back at the man
cowering behind the bar. "You heard about any new big bad in town?"

The bartender shook his head. "No, honest. There have been some
whispering about some new master heading this way, but nothin
concrete. Seems to be on the real down low, you know what I'm sayin?
If anyone knows anything, they ain't talkin."

"Well, we'll have to see what we can do to change that," Spike
mused. He turned back around, ready to further question the blue
demon, but found that it was no longer in the bar. Standing up,
Spike let out a sigh, just before lighting a cigarette and walking
out. The bartender opened his mouth, about to call out about the
unpaid bar tab, but then looked down, thinking better of it.

~*~

"Buffy?"
Dawn called out as she tentatively walked into the
house. "Buffy?"

"Hey," Buffy answered, as her sister walked into the living
room. "Thought you were spending the evening at Xander's."

"
Yeah, thought you were going to patrol," Dawn answered, eying her

sister carefully.

"I did. Just got home," Buffy told her. She picked up the remote
control and turned off the television, tucking her legs below her on
the couch. "What's up?"

"What did you say to
Willow?" Dawn questioned.

"
Willow?" Buffy looked confused. "I…I haven't seen her. Why?"
Something nagged at the back of her mind, but the slayer wasn't
quite able to grasp what it was. Something just felt…not right.

"She said that the two of you got into an argument," the younger
girl stated, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms as she
stared at her sister suspiciously.

"Dawn, I haven't seen
Willow since earlier today at the shop," Buffy
told her.

"
Willow doesn't lie," Dawn reminded her with a raised eyebrow. "At…
at least not about stuff like that.
She was really upset, Buffy."


"Upset? Where is she?" The slayer sat up a little straighter, not
liking the uneasy feeling flowing through her. Something was
definitely not right.

Not bothering to answer her sister's question, Dawn continued to
talk. "She also said something about you and Spike in the cemetery.
Any idea what that might have been about?"

"
I ran into Spike, patrolling. We talked, but…actually it was weird,
I got all confused, and…"

"Confused?" Dawn's cool gaze turned worried at her sister's words.

"It was strange. It was like, one minute I was walking along, and
then I sort of zoned out or something, and next thing I know, he's
standing there, telling me to forget what happened."

"Forget what happened? What exact were you supposed to forget?"

"That's just it. I really didn't know what he was talking about."

"Something strange is going on," Dawn stated, looking around
nervously. "I think you need to talk to
Willow."

"Why? What exactly did
Willow say?" Buffy stood up, her voice filled
with worry.

"She said that she saw you and Spike kissing, and then you told her
to move out of the house."

"What? I didn't…I wouldn't…Kissing Spike?!"

"I know. That's what we all said, but Buffy…she was so sure that…A-
and then Faith…"

"What about Faith?" Buffy's voice took on a little bit of anger at
the sound of the other girl's name.

"She said that you told her to move out too."

"What? I did NOT tell anyone to…Or…or…oh god, I think I did. But I
don't really remember…I wouldn't have. I mean, Faith, I don't like
the idea of her training with you, but I wasn't going to tell her to…
Oh god." Blurry memories began to assault the slayer's mind as she
sat back on the couch, holding her head. "What's happening to me?"

"Buffy?" Dawn slowly walked toward her sister, unsure of what was
wrong, but feeling increasingly worried. "What is it?"

"I can't really remember…It's almost like…I have these vague
memories of saying and doing things I didn't do."

"Buffy, I think maybe we should go talk to the others. Xander and
Faith were going to see Giles at the shop. Maybe he'll know what's
going on." Buffy just shook her head, staring off in a daze,
wondering at exactly what horrible things she had said and done that
night, and hoping that whatever damage had been done would be
repairable.

 

Part 9

"Something is wrong with her, Giles," Faith explained. "First with
me, and then with
Willow…She wasn't acting like herself."

"Is this true,
Willow?" Everyone turned and looked at the forlorn
redhead who sat in the corner of the room. She hadn't wanted to
come along, hadn't wanted to talk about this just ett, but her
friends had left her with little choice, and in the end,
Willow knew
something needed to be said and done.

"She…she wasn't really acting like herself," she mumbled
uncertainly, "a-and there was the whole thing with Spike."

"Thing with Spike?" Giles questioned.

"Wills thinks she saw Spike and Buffy kissing in the cemetery,"
Xander explained.

"Well…I'm…uh…I'm sure there must be some sort of explanation for
that," Giles stammered, removing his glasses and cleaning them
thoroughly as
Willow simply shook her head.

"I know what I saw Giles, and even if Buffy isn't…you know, herself?
Spike is, and he was…." The witch's voice trailed off as she looked
down sadly, Anya sitting down next to her and rubbing her back,
looking slightly unsure of how to comfort the girl.

"Oh! I know this one!" Anya said suddenly. "
Willow, did you happen
to do a My-Will-Be-Done spell?" Everyone gave the former demon very
confused looks. "Well, last time Buffy and Spike were found
kissing, it was because of
Willow's spell, when they got engaged."

"Actually, I think the last time, was when it was the Buffy-bot,"
Xander interjected. "But the bot is long gone, unless you think
there's a new one."

"It wasn't a bot. It was Buffy,"
Willow told them. "A-and I didn't
do a spell. Even if I did, do you really think that my will would be
to have Buffy and Spike kissing?"

"Well, no," Anya agreed, "but maybe it's an anti-My-Will-Be-Done
spell. You know, does the opposite, and we just need an anti-anti-My-
Will..."

"Stop!"
Willow interrupted with a shout. "I didn't do any spell, a-
and the last time wasn't with the bot. Not technically."

"What do you mean?" Xander questioned.

"Buffy and Spike were kinda...uh...together, before. The...um...the
other before,"
Willow explained quietly, looking down at her hands
in her lap.

Xander's eyes widened. "Buffy was with Spike? Of her own choice? Why
would she do that?"

"Hey! Hello! I'm with Spike by MY own choice,"
Willow pointed
out. "It's hard to explain. She sorta used him, and he...he loved
her. He really did."

"Ok, well that was then," Xander surmised, "and this is now, and
Spike is butt-crazy in love with you
Willow. Trust me. Maybe we
should just find Spike. He might know what's going on with Buffy."

"Right," Giles agreed. "I think it would be in our best interested
to speak with Spike as soon as possible. We should probably spread
out and try to find him before…"

The older man was interrupted as the door flew open and the blond in
question stormed into the room.

"Watcher, gotta talk to you about…" Spike paused, seeing the rest of
the group standing around the small living room, his eyes resting on
the distraught redhead who refused to look up. "
Willow?" He
whispered, taking a step closer to her.

"Well that was easy," Xander noted, seeing the vampire that they
were about to search for.

"Yes, well, Spike," Giles called out, catching the vampires
attention, "we need to ask you a few question."

"Oh! Right. Listen, found out from a few demons around town, there's
some sort of Witch Doctor voodoo guy hanging out in the cemetery.
Might be your man, causing all the trouble. There was also some
demon tonight, making some noise about a New Dominion comin. Heard
anything about it?"

"No, I can't say as I have. Actually, Spike, we wanted to ask you
about Buffy.
Willow believes that tonight she saw you…"

"Kissin, yeah I know," Spike interrupted, watching
Willow as her
head shot up, her eyes wide and pain filled. "I know what you saw,
but there's a perfectly good explanation for it," he told her
sincerely.

"Oh, good!" Xander stated. "See, Wills, I told you there was an
explanation. Spike and Buffy would never…"

"Buffy and I did kiss," Spike interrupted again, his voice low and
sad.

"What? That is not the explanation I had in mind," Xander told him.

"Or, well, she kissed me. It meant nothin, pet, honest," Spike
stated, walking up to
Willow and kneeling in front of her. "She
kissed me, and I pushed her away, explained that my heart belonged
to another."

"Didn't look that way to me," she told him, feeling anger and hurt
bubbling up inside of her.

"I swear it,
Willow. Ask the slayer."

"Ask me what?" Everyone turned around, surprised to see Buffy and
Dawn walking in.

"Tell them! Tell them that you kissed me and that I stopped it. Tell
them!" Spike insisted.

Buffy looked down nervously. "I think…I can't remember, but I think
he's telling the truth."

"Can't remember?" Xander questioned. "Buff, I would think that
kissing Spike would not be a thing to be easily forgotten." He
paused, looking toward the blond vampire before adding, "No matter
how badly one might want to."

"Hey!" Spike shouted indignantly.

"I…I don't know how to explain…Giles, something's happening. I have
all these flashes of things I don't remember doing. Arguing with
Faith, kissing Spike, yelling at
WillowI…I don't remember doing any
of that, but at the same time…"

"Something is making you say and do things?" Giles questioned.

"Sounds like we need to make a little visit to the Witch Doctor,"
Xander quipped.

"Why would some guy come to town and start manipulating me?" Buffy
questioned.

"Maybe he's the reason for your sudden reappearance," Giles
suggested.

"Why would he want to bring me back, though? Wouldn't that just be
trouble for him?" Buffy asked.

"Come on," Anya interjected. "Using the slayer as your own personal
toy, all her strengths included? What evil creature wouldn't want to
do that if they could?"

"She has a point," Xander replied. "A slayer makes a pretty powerful
weapon."

"Then it's time to go and take this guy out," Buffy stated decidedly.

 

Part 10

"
Willow, please…" Spike was still trying to get the redhead to
acknowledge him as they marched through the cemetery. The redhead
had done a simple locator spell to find the Witch Doctor, and now
she, Spike, Faith and Buffy were on their way to take him out.

"Spike, now might not be the best time to…" Buffy began.

"Slayer, you've done enough. Stay out of it, alright?" He growled.

"You know, I didn't mean to…I don't even remember…The last thing
that…"

"Oh, you wanted to," Spike shot back, unable to help himself. "You
only wish that…"

"Guys! Stop!"
Willow shouted. "We're here." She pointed toward a
mausoleum, realizing it was the same one that she had come upon
before. "Wait, I was here earlier a-and there was nothing inside."

"Probably down below," Spike explained. "Like my old crypt, most of
them have caves below." Everyone simply nodded.

"Let's get this over with," Buffy mumbled, reaching for the
door. "I'm really tired of having this guy playing with my mind."

"Someone should be getting some use out of it, don't you think?"
Spike replied with a grin. Faith elbowed him in the side with a
snicker, lifting up her crossbow and waiting for Buffy to open the
door. The blonde slayer began to turn the knob, her eyes suddenly
flashing red, before she stopped and spun around to face the rest of
the group again.

"Buffy?"
Willow questioned.

"It's a door knob," Spike groused. "You turn and push. Really not
all that hard."
With a huff, the vampire lunged forward, throwing

the door open and charging into the empty mausoleum, Faith following
behind him.
Willow moved to enter, stopped just outside the door by
Buffy, who stepped into the door frame, leaning her body against one
side and holding her hand against the other, effectively blocking
the witch's entrance.

"Buffy, we need to…"
Willow was stopped as the slayer reached
forward, gripping the redhead's shoulders tightly and shoving her
back a few feet. "Buffy, what are you…Hey! Buffy, stop!"

"
You've gotten a little too powerful, Willow," Buffy stated, her

voice low and void of any emotion. "Time someone brought you down a
peg or two."

"Buffy, look, I know you're not feeling like yourself, but…" Again
Willow was cut off, this time, Buffy backhanding her, sending the
witch sprawling to the ground, holding her burning cheek and feeling
a small amount of blood trickle from her torn lip. Struggling to
stand up in a slight daze, the redhead looked up at the blonde
towering over her, a mixture of anger and fear overwhelming her.

~*~

"See anything?" Faith asked.

"No, but then the fact that it's completely dark might have
something to do with that," Spike replied.

"Thought vamps were supposed to be able to see through the dark."

"Better. We can see better in the dark. Can't see right through it.
Not superman you know."

"Superman could see through objects, not through the dark," Faith
reminded him, "and why am I debating this with you?"

They had jumped down through the trap door in the middle of the
floor, and were now wandering through the very large, very dark cave
below.

"You feel that?" Faith questioned.

"What's that?" He asked distractedly.

"I don't know…a presence…magical…You feel it?"

"Yeah, I feel somethin.
Willow?" He called out, realizing that the
witch and the blonde slayer had not followed them down, and dread
suddenly hit him. Something was not right.

"Hey! Watch the hands, Fang!" Faith shouted suddenly.

"What are you goin on about?" Spike questioned, looking back in the
direction that her voice had come from.

"You, gettin all grabby all of the sudden. Is this what you were
doing with Buffy?" Faith struggled to move as the hand that had
trailed down her arm was now firmly grasping her wrist in a painful
grip.

"I'm not touchin ya, Slayer. No where near you," he told her,
squinting into the darkness.

"Well, then who the hell is holding my hand." A second later they
heard the hiss of a match being lit, just before the cave was bathed
in a dim light. Turning her head, Faith could now see the person
holding her, her wrist gripped firmly in one hand and a large
lantern held in the other.

"Get your filthy hands off of me!" She screamed. Spike was in front
of them a moment later. Raising his arm up, he threw his first
punch, intent on knocking the man away from the slayer, but found
his fist slamming against some sort of invisible barrier, throwing
him back several feet, into a crumbling stone wall.

"Not a smart move, vampire," the Witch Doctor told him. "I got a few
tricks up me sleeve. Don't fight this."

"Sorry, buddy, fighting is just what we do," Faith responded, before
spinning suddenly, twisting his arm around. Reaching to grab the
other arm, he held it up before she could grab it, and second later,
she found herself flying backwards into Spike, who was struggling to
stand.

"This is definitely not good," she muttered, pulling herself up from
the dirt floor and looking around for her weapon.

 

Part 11

"Buffy, we are not doing this,"
Willow stated, her breath coming hard
as she stood over the blonde. The slayer had attacked her, and
Willow
had fought back, instincts taking over, blasting Buffy with her magic
and knocking her to the ground. Seeing the slayer struggling to
stand, wiping at the blood on her lip,
Willow's mind flashed to when
she had battled Buffy before. Then,
Willow's hair, and aura, had been
a bit blacker, and Buffy had been fighting to save the world. This
time, it was Buffy that seemed to be the danger, indirectly or not.
Willow knew that she could take the slayer easily enough, if she
wanted to, but still, she couldn't stand the thought of hurting her
friend.

"Aw, come on, Willow," Buffy taunted, circling the redhead slowly, a
predator stalking her prey. "It's so much fun. You know you love
this, you and me, sparring, dark verses light…Last time, I guess we
were
both on opposite teams. Course, you seem to know a lot about

switching teams, don't ya, Wills?"

"Stop it!"
Willow yelled, her fists clenched tightly at her
side. "Buffy, you don't know what you're saying."

The slayer crouched down, suddenly, before jumping up and spinning,
intent on kicking the redhead.
Willow held her hand up reflexively,
erecting a barrier around herself. Buffy hit the barrier and fell
back, glaring daggers at the witch.

"Your magic won't save you,
Willow. You may be strong, but I'll
always be stronger," Buffy growled.

"Buffy, listen to yourself!"
Willow yelled desperately. "This isn't
you! Something is controlling you, making you say and do things. You
have to fight it."

"Fight it?" The slayer replied with a chuckle. "Like you fought it,
Will? Yeah, I remember. Not EVERYONE forgot what you really are. Some
remember. You gave into the darkness, you let it consume you, and you
nearly destroyed the world. You need to pay for that,
Willow. You can
not be allowed to exist with power that strong. It will consume you,
one way or another. In the end, you'll just destroy yourself."

"It's not true!" Without thinking,
Willow let loose with another bolt
of magic, knocking the slayer down once more. Her pale hand
immediately went up to her mouth as she gasped in horror at her own
actions.

Buffy simply chuckled cruelly. "You see? It's happening already,"
she taunted, standing up again. Somewhere deep inside, Buffy's voice
screamed in the darkness for release. She could hear what she was
saying, but had no power to stop it, no way to control her own
actions.

"Confuto!"
Willow shouted, holding up her hand. Suddenly, Buffy felt
the air tighten around her, and the slayer found herself completely
unable to move.

"What the…"

"I'm sorry, Buffy,"
Willow said softly, taking a step closer to the
blonde who was still struggling against the invisible bonds. "It's
for your own good."

At that, the redhead moved past Buffy, intent on finding Spike and
Faith, and destroying the Witch Doctor once and for all. Just as she
passed through the doorway, she heard Buffy's voice behind her.

"Do you really think that he'll ever love you as much as he loved
me?" The voice was quiet and cold, and it stopped
Willow mid-step.
She didn't turn around, just listened as the slayer spoke. "He got a
soul for me,
Willow. He loved me that much. He wanted to give me his
humanity, because he knew I deserved that and more. What do you
deserve? What has he given you?"

Willow stood, silent for a moment, her body stiff, her face
expressionless
.


"Everything," came her whispered response, before she ran into the
mausoleum.

~*~

"Spike!"
Willow called out, seeing the vampire struggling against an
invisible barrier as Faith was thrown back from the Mage.

"Witch," he growled, his eyes glowing as he looked up at her.
Willow
glanced over at a small, bubbling caldron, and she saw a voodoo doll
with blonde hair hung near by.

Raising her hand up and toward the doll, she called out, "eximo!" The
doll fell to the ground as the rope around it snapped.

The Witch Doctor raised his arm, beginning to call something out, but
Willow easily deflected the magic with a slight grin.

"This ends now," she told him.

"You think this is the end?" He questioned with a laugh. "This is
only the beginning, little girl. The New Dominion is coming, and as
it rises, so will you fall."

Before
Willow could respond, he yelled out something she didn't
understand, before disappearing with a loud bang and a cloud of smoke.

Coughing and clearing the air around her, Faith slowly stood
up. "Gees, showy much?" She commented, rolling her eyes. "I've seen
better effects at the circus."

Willow giggled as she moved across the cave and helped Spike up. Once
he was standing,
Willow moved to pull away, but the vampire held her
tightly. "Thanks, love," he whispered, before leaning in and kissing
her. The redhead smiled back, looking slightly unsure and leaned into
him a little.

"Thank you," she whispered back, her voice barely audible.

"What do we do with this?" Faith asked, lifting up the doll from the
floor.

"Oh! Buffy!"
Willow shouted, running out, followed by Faith and
Spike. Quickly calling out a reversal spell, she released the
slightly dazed looking slayer. "Are you okay, Buffy?"

"Yeah…I…Are you okay?" She asked, vaguely remembering what had
happened between her and Willow.

"Yeah, Witch Doctor all gone,"
Willow told her with a slight smile.

"
Willow, I'm really…" Buffy's words were cut off as she suddenly
broke out into a wild dance, her arms and legs flailing around wildly.

"Buffy?"
Willow asked cautiously, taking a step back.

"I…I can't stop…" Buffy shouted.

Hearing Faith chuckling behind her, she turned around to see the
brunette playing with the doll, making it dance around and not
seeming to notice the blonde slayer before her.

"What?" Faith questioned, looking up suddenly at the feel of
Willow's
stare. Glancing past her, she saw Buffy's wild dancing and suddenly
halted her moves with the doll. "Sorry," she mumbled meekly.

 

Part 12

Willow heard a knock at the door just before it open, and Buffy
peaked her head around.

"Can I come in?" She asked softly.
Willow nodded and the slayer
walked in, her eyes widening at the sight before her. The redhead
had most of her things packed, and was going through the closet,
putting a few items into boxes.

"What are you doing? You aren't really leaving, are you? `Cause, you
know, we had talked, and you said that you understood that those
things that I said…they weren't true. I talked to Faith, and she's
staying, after a whole lot of butt kissing. Will, you know I don't
want you to go."

"I know, Buffy,"
Willow replied with a soft smile. "I get that it
wasn't you talking. I do, but I still think I should go. You just
got back…even if you can't remember being gone, and I think Dawn
could use a little more one on one time with her sister, plus you
and Faith, you need to do that slayer bonding thing. Besides, I
think it's time that I got a place of my own, started moving on a
little, you know?"

Buffy nodded sadly. "Yeah, I know. So…You and Spike? Gonna move in
together?"

Willow nodded, her smile widening slightly. "We still have some
things to work through, but yeah. I just can't seem to get to sleep
without him in my bed."

Buffy grinned at her friend. "I remember how you were with
Tara.
Same way. So I guess… Spike, it's pretty serious, huh?"

"Yeah, it is,"
Willow told her. "I mean, it was…I think it still is.
I mean, I know he loves me. I just…"

"Will, those things I said, please, don't believe them. They weren't
true. It was just…they were trying to find your weaknesses."

"Well, they did a pretty good job of that," the redhead told her
with a wry smile.

"So that Witch Doctor guy, he's gone for good?"

"I think so,"
Willow told her with a nod. "Did a locator spell. He's
definitely not in this dimension."

"And the doll?"

"Taken care of.
Voodoo curse thing all gone, doll destroyed," Willow

told her with a grin.

"Good. I kinda like having only me up here," Buffy said, gesturing
toward her forehead. "And random fits of dance...Not my thing. Do
you think he's the reason I came back?"

"Not sure,"
Willow replied honestly. "I'm more worried about this
New Dominion thing, really."

"What do we know about it?"

"Not much yet. Giles is looking into it, but so far, nothing...'cept
it's apparently a bad thing."

"Well, if it isn't one big bad trying to kill us, it's another,"
Buffy told her with a smile, walking toward the door.

"Yep. Business as usual,"
Willow agreed. "You'd think that
eventually they would get the hint and leave the hellmouth alone."

"Guess most demons just aren't that bright," Buffy agreed, before
heading out the door, leaving
Willow alone to pack up the rest of
her things.