From: "Christopher Angel"
Asuka's Love ------------ All Neon Geneis Evangelion characters owned by the great people at Gainax. Don't sue me, I've got no money to take. Note: This takes a really different look at Asuka from what I've seen so far, be warned. *** I still remember the first time I realized I was falling for Shinji. It was when we were fighting the 8th Angel. You remember, the one that was incubating in that volcano? When I saw Shinji's Eva hanging off the coolant pipes, saving me from sinking to my death, I almost cried I was so happy to see him. It's that side of Shinji that I love. The side that doesn't think about himself, doesn't complain, or whine, just acts. It's that side of Shinji that's the hero. A real man. It's that side of him that's the best Eva pilot, so competent, so amazing at what he does that while I seethe with jealousy I can't help but fall even more for him. So I guess I can't really be blamed for getting so angry at him all the time. I mean, I've seen the real Shinji he hides under that soft, cowardly exterior. But he covers it with that apologetic wimp of a boy, who lets everyone and everything roll right over him, and it drives me insane. He just gives in to everyone. Especially his father. I want to hate Gendou for what he does to Shinji, I really do, but without that bastard I'd never see the side of Shinji I miss. I want to be the one who brings that side of him forward. Not Gendou. Not Misato. Not Wonder Girl. Me. Shinji and the others find me annoying and irritating. They think I'm a full-of-herself bitch, who think she's better than everyone else. I know I'm not the best. Shinji is the best Eva pilot, isn't he? He's the one who they turn to first when they need a hero, not me. Even I turned to him first once. Once. God, I wanted to scream when Shinji disappeared inside the 12th Angel. That shadow just swallowed him up, and took him from me, and I thought I'd die. It wasn't only that it took Shinji away, it took him away when he was at his best. It took my Shinji when he was being a hero. I tried to hide how I felt behind the mask of the bitch, but Wonder Girl knew. When she grabbed my arm, and gave me that stare, I was sure I was going to collapse right there. And then Shinji came back. His Eva tore out of the angel like a wild beast, and roared as it reached the air. I was horrified. I was piloting something like that. I was in a barely controlled monster. Worst of all, my Shinji was in that rampaging thing. Misato asks me why I always pick on Shinji. I tell her it's because he's such a weak, whiny, little child, but that's not the truth. How can I tell her it's because I want to see the other Shinji? How can I tell her that it's the only way I know of the bring forward the Shinji I want? The Shinji who pilots Evas better than anyone? That's why I push him, and nag him, and try to make him stand up for himself. I want to see that Shinji. I want to see the Shinji who fights Angels like a genius, a god of war. I want to see the Shinji who made me use an AT field in a way I never dreamed of, who jumped into a volcano to save my life. The Shinji I used my Eva to protect from the 9th Angel's acid. The Shinji I respect. The Shinji I love. -- Christopher "God-boy" Angel firstname.lastname@example.org http://www.engr.usask.ca/~cja124 "Ba-da-bing, baby!"