From the Other Side: a continuation of Lost Love
Don't expect too much, as I'm a beginner. I am also almost as creative
as Ayanami Rei on a bad day :-P. Anyways, time to go into the fray :-)
Any criticisms/opinions are welcome, send them to ikkoku@bigfoot.com. I
will read and respond.
Characters by Gainax. Lawsuits will yield pocket lint, and I am not
trying to take over the world. Yet. Ssshhh... Be advised, very dark
reading ahead...and kudos to Alain Gravel, as he gave me the base to
work from. Enjoy.
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"He who fights with monsters might take
care lest he thereby become a monster.
And if you gaze for long into an abyss,
the abyss gazes also into you."
-- Neitzche
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An barely-visible apparition stands near the nighttable. It stands idly,
seemingly to inspect the interfaces that remain, that to this day still
remind Asuka of Shinji. Asuka, in that halfway state between reality and
dreams, is fitfully crying, after having had a really bad day. It looks
at the interfaces, it seems, more because it can't face Asuka, than
because of any interest in the little bits of metal.
One can almost hear a long sigh...
"Well, I never was any good at this. Damn..."
Finally, it coalesces (he, actually) and comes to Asuka. He kneels
beside her, apparently smoothing her hair away from her eyes. A look of
concern darkens the spirit's face.
He kneels there for what seems to be an eternity, then comes into focus.
Shinji cries for a few minutes. Though he has been around for a long
time, he still remembers his promise, and quietly talks to the Asuka
that almost-sleeps near his face. One can almost hear the voice speak,
as a memory that remains, though nearly forgotten...
"I stand with you, Asu-chan, and I still have hope.
I know that our son is doing well. Yes, I consider him ours, regardless
of who gave him to us...if only I could have lived, to keep him safe, to
see you complain. You know I always liked the making up part of it,
right? You were and still are so cute, it just kills me that you can't
see past the darkness that binds you to it. I thank my son for being
there for you. He at least says something, at least he says what he
feels. And he at least shows you that light can exist anywhere we wish
it to, if we give it a chance.
It is really weird, Asuka...
To see you hold our son at night, fighting off the terror that I can see
in your eyes. I still sit across from you at night knowing you can never
see me, but being near and knowing that, somehow, you will continue,
allows me to rest in a small way, a little peace for my weary heart.
Even when you are so tired from all that happens around you and you
can't go on that way, I love you for not giving up. I made a decision,
and I would not take that choice back even given the chance. Things will
work out, you'll see. I love you. I will be here as you work things out.
... Want to hear something funny, Asu-chan?
I couldn't leave without you, and so I remain with you.
I couldn't leave...
Therefore I am here, and you will see me if you look really hard. I was
there when you tried to join me. Both times. My voice is the whisper of
the wind that gently tells you that everything will work itself out. It
seems strange that I have gotten your courage. (He shakes his head and
chuckles seriously, but with a slight sense of humor about him.) Its
sort of funny, Asuka. Being dead makes you look at things a little
different, I guess.
Staying in life after the movement has played is truly a curse, Asuka.
However, I know and believe that what my mother taught me is true, now.
As long as the sun rises, as long as we live, everything will be all
right. You care for me as you care for our son. Have courage, my little
Asu-chan, I will not let you down, even if I must remain a little longer
to see you through.
I will bring you gentle breezes to cool you when you walk home at night.
I will shower you with cherry blossoms when you think back on our first
time. I remember it, and it was worth it then and it still keeps me from
falling into the darkness even today, though it is still hard to deal
with.
I will laugh with you as you tell our growing teen about the way we
bumbled through our feelings. I agree that he needs to open up more as
well. He might become as bad as I once was if he keeps walking his
chosen path. I pray you and I can steer him away from that fate.
I will cry with you as the friends that we both knew forget us and move
on, or as we continue when our friends must leave us.
I will remain with you, however. I will not leave you, Asuka. Not until
you can rest as well. How I wish that you can find the one person to
hold, to keep close, to tell your secrets to, knowing that he will care
and love you as much as I. That will understand the bond we shared, and
not be afraid, but care for you regardless...
But until then, I will remain...
Also...
I like the flowers.
They sing of beauty and light,
life amidst the dark.
Remember that we stand together, Asuka, whether we can be together or
not. OUR son will know our love through you, and our spirits will guide
him through the storm. He may have a hard life, but he will be alright.
Everything will be alright."
The spectre moves closer to Asuka as she softly cries, and bends down
over her. The faintest whisper can be heard:
"Sleep tight Asu-chan. I still love you and will always be with you..."
(Shinji kisses her)
He then slowly fades...
Asuka (whispering in her sleep, a happy tear on her cheek): "Thanks for
being here... Shinji..."
She then silently cries for a few minutes, then finally gives in to
sleep, and lies peacefully, her soul at rest.
(
geocities.com/seele_hq)