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RAMEN
previously submitted as THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
Produced May 98

an Evangelion fanfic 
with Ranma 1/2 elements by EeL (TOH Ee Loong)

Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by the people at GAINAX.
English translation rights and distribution in the UK belong
to ADVision.

Ranma 1/2 is belongs to Rumiko Takahashi,
copyright Shounen Sunday and Shogakukan in Japan
and Viz Entertainment in North America and Western Europe. 

Many thanks to Andrew Huang (Evanjellydonut rules!) for prereading 
and saving me from a potentially huge mistake. What a difference
a word makes. This should not be taken as any form of endorsement
by the abovementioned and any errors, omissions and inadequecies
are, of course, the sole responsibility of the author.

Background (SPOILER ALERT)

This assumes knowledge about the series up till at least 
Episode 12 with the defeat of the Tenth Angel. The author
pays no attention to continuity or consistency. 

Misato is treating Shinji, Asuka and Rei to a 'big meal'
to keep her promise to them for pulling off yet another 
one of her ingenious but crazy plans. Having defeated the 
(IMHO) most badly animated angel that I've seen in the 
series so far, the four have arrived at their 'five star
restaurant'.

[ ] square brackets indicate thought.


* WARNING/STANDARD PRODUCT DISCLAIMER *

This is technically not a lemon but has a strong lemonish tinge.

If you are easily offended or don't like deviations from the
original series that messes with the characters, DON'T CONTINUE!
You have been warned.

---


   Under a red paper latern reading 'Ramen'.

   "We know how poor you are, Misato. This will be fine." Asuka 
declared in her imperial tone, arms akimbo. 

   "And since there's no meat, Wondergirl will be joining us."

   "I'd like garlic noodles without roast pork," said Rei, in
her usual quiet monotone.

   "Gimme shark's fin ramen and extra roast pork. Super-size
it!" demanded Asuka.

   "Here you go!" said the Chinese proprieter.

   As the three pilots and their Operations Director dug into
their meal, Shinji felt he had something to share.

   "Hey, Misato-san."

   "Yeah?"

   "I finally understood, today, what was good about being praised.
And I also realized that... the reason I pilot my Eva is to hear
those words from my father."

   "That's why you're a pilot?" interjected Asuka. "You really are
an idiot!"

---

   Back at the Katsuragi Apartment

   Something was definitely wrong. Misato couldn't push him out
of her head. She squirmed in her seat, her beer untouched.
She had to do something - quick. She couldn't hold on for much 
longer.

   "Hey guys, I've some work to do at Headquarters. Don't stay
up too late, alright?" Misato called to her two charges.

   "I'll tell Asuka as soon as she finishes her bath. Erm...
are you alright, Misato-san?" asked Shinji. 

   His guardian looked, well, unsettled. Shinji noted the 
nodes of perspiration on her forehead. Her messed hair. Her 
efforts to control her breathing. Her heaving chest... 
Her heaving chest...

   Shinji was startled out of his train of thought as Misato
took a step towards him.

   [Yes,he'lldo.He'scuteenough.He'sjustakid!It'llbuildhis
confidence.No.No.Hetrustsme.IcanstillmakeittoKaji's.Ohmigod.
What'shappeningtome?Ohmigod...]

   "Misato-san? Are you alright?"

   "I-I'm fine. Gotta go." 

   Shinji started to pace around the living room, wringing
his hands at his sides as the purple haired beauty
dashed out of the door. He hoped Asuka would be done soon.
He needed a shower badly. A cold one. 

   [What was taking her so long?] 

   He leafed through the newspapers, not really taking any 
of it in. Pen-pen was probably the best informed living 
being in this mad house he called home.

   "Shin-chaaan..." 

   The object of the call stiffened as Asuka's unmistakeable 
voice drifted into the living room. He hoped she wasn't 
about to direct some merciless new taunt towards him - 
which was how Asuka tended to use that form of address.

   "Asuka, I..."

   The young pilot's jaw dropped. The sight of his flatmate,
wrapped in a red towel, leaning against the ante-bathroom
door overwhelmed him. She...she was beautiful. Flawless fierce
blue eyes. Long chestnut hair. The figure of a nymph. She 
was also smiling at him like a cat that had cornered a mouse.

   "You want to kiss me, Shinji?"

   Short circuit. Overload. A10 nerve connection broken.
Signal termination. The world has gone mad. Shinji found 
himself moving towards her, dimly aware but not in control. 
Quite like when his Eva went berserk against the Third Angel.

   They practically leapt into each other's arms. Lips met.
Warm, moist, soft. Tongues clashed. Shinji's arms, locked
around Asuka's waist, pulled her towards him. She began to
tug at his shirt as she pushed herself against him. The fire
engulfing them was becoming unbearable.

   And then the doorbell rang. 

   And rang. And rang. And rang.

   The two were rudely thrust back into the real world
as an urgent banging on the door now joined the incessant
ringing. Shinji and Asuka found that they had magically
teleported a good two metres from each other in an instant.

   "Aren't you going to get it?" growled Asuka.

   "Who...who is it?" ventured Shinji through the intercom.

   "Ikari-kun... Please let me in," came the
quiet yet tense reply. 

   "Ayanami. Didn't you go home?" was all Shinji could 
muster, rather stupidly, as Rei stepped into the apartment.
Rei's cheeks were flushed crimson against her pale skin.
She was looking at her feet, both hands clasped in front
of herself, fidgeting with the hem of her dress.

   "I..." was all the indigo haired girl could manage
before she was interrupted by a Soryuu-Langley Furious 
Outburst.

   "WHAT'S *SHE* DOING HERE!?"

   Rei suddenly took Shinji's right hand and placed his palm
against her chest, over her heart, her delicate hands keeping
his in place. 

   "Ikari-kun, I want to become one with you."

   For the second time in the evening, Shinji's brain was
fried by the input he was receiving and the accompanying
hormonal surge.

   "Ooooh no, you don't!" screamed Asuka. "He's mine! Mine!
Mine! All mine!" 

   The two girls proceeded to engage in a tug of war. Rei in 
possession of Shinji's right arm, Asuka controlling the left.

   "Why don't you just go home!? Give it up!" raged Asuka.

   Rei, resolutely and as calmly as always, held on.

   "Let go, Wondergirl! You haven't got a prayer!"

   "You realize that neither of us will get what we want
if this continues." Rei's icy tone cut through the red haze
in Asuka's head. [Damned, I hate it when she's right.] Asuka
was starting to twitch.

   Twitch.

   Twitch. Twitch.

   "Okay! Alright! But I get to go first!"

   "Deal." 

   "Don't I have a say?" whined Shinji as his brain 
finally came back online.

   "No," returned the goddesses of Fire and Ice.

---

The Morning After

   Misato breathed heavily as she leaned her head against
the door to her apartment. Kaji had been very pleasantly
surprised and they had re-lived some of the good ole days
when they had been living together. But when he tried
to talk to her about their relationship this morning,
she had been totally freaked out.

   [What possessed me last night?]

   She turned tail and ran, not wanting to let him press
his case further. He was convincing. He was probably right.
But she didn't want to think about it right now.

   Misato lifted her forehead from the door as she heard a
loud voice and sounds of impending violence coming from 
inside her home.

   "You-you!!! You PERVERT!!! HOW COULD YOU!?"

   [That would be Asuka.]

   "I...I'm sorry?"

   [That was definitely her Shinji.]  

   "Why are you so angry, Asuka? You seemed to enjoy
yourself last night."

   [Rei? What was she doing here? What was going on?]

   Misato crept in as the apartment door slid open and 
scouted out the source of the commotion. It didn't take 
long to pinpoint it to the living room and to an amazing 
sight.

   She saw Asuka's back. The German-Japanese girl was 
clasping a red towel around her otherwise un-clad figure. 
Her free hand was raised in a fist.

   "It's a conspiracy! Ganging up on me! You two idiots 
deserve each other!!!" screeched a furious Asuka 
at Shinji and Rei.

    The aforementioned pair were sitting up in a futon
that had been laid on the living room floor. Shinji was
cowering from Asuka's onslaught, his attempt to raise
the blanket mainly for the benefit of Rei's modesty.
Rei, on the other hand, seemed unconcerned. She had an
arm around Shinji's shoulder, another around his chest
and her head resting against his shoulder. She even had a
small blissful smile on her face.

   "Does that mean I can have Shinji-kun to myself?" Rei 
proposed, almost cutely.

   Asuka began to tear at her hair as she screamed in
complete frustration. 


(Zoom into her mouth. 
 Good view of her tonsils. 
 Then pan to outside the apartment block. 
 The screaming is still audible. 
 Zoom out to take a view of the whole of Tokyo-3. 
 More, yes, more. Ok. 
 Gradually fade out the screaming as we were zooming out. 
 Rapidly re-focus on the ramen shop from the night before.)


Meanwhile in Shin-Nerima District of Tokyo-3,
Nekohaten Ramen Stall

   "AIYAH! Where blind stupid Mousse put special 
delayed-action passion spice!?"

:)
The End

---

My first fanfic. Please tread kindly.
And yes, I know about Rei.

Comments and criticism PLEASE! 
(email: toheel@singnet.com.sg)