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SPOILER WARNING: This fan fiction spoils incidents up
through episode 23.
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SARIEL; OR, FOR THE LOVE OF A LADY
Adapted from the Neon Genesis Evangelion anime and manga
by GAINAX.
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"But, for the love of a lady...come on, Jonny! What are we
waiting for?"
--_Walt Disney's Robin Hood_
Somewhere in Tokyo-3, in the early hours of the morning, a
light came on in the toilet stall. There was a pause, then came
the muffled sounds of crying.
--
Horaki Hikari took a bus to school that morning. She told
her mother that she was tired and that she hadn't slept well. It
was the truth. Her mother had asked her why, and if she was
feeling well. Hikari replied, "Stress. That's all." That was the
truth in part.
She rode on the bus, a quarter of the way back on the left hand
side. She sat in the window seat, resting her shoulder and her
head against the glass pane. Tokyo-3 passed by, blurred colors in
the wintertime darkness. It was early still. Many streetlights
were on. Hikari's eyes were drawn to the brightness against the
dark. She looked for light.
She arrived at school well before classes began, even before any
of her clique appeared. She walked through vacant halls,
listening as her footfalls reverberated against the floor, and the
sound bounced across lockers, walls and ceilings. Posters and
flyers hung by their tape, waiting to be read. Hikari found herself
in their homeroom; so she put her bookbag down and busied
herself. She looked at the potted plants at the windows, seeing
that their soil was moist. She ran a finger across desktops and
the chalkboard. She paced the rows of desks, wishing that she
could fill some with her peers and friends.
They came, in time. First was Ayanami Rei, who came early or
never came at all. Then Aida Kensuke. Then more of the class
that she represented. She greeted them all. Suzuhara Touji
came. He was her boyfriend. She kept him at a distance that
morning. He thought that she was being coy, and she let him
think so.
Minutes before classes were to begin, her friend Sohryu Asuka
Langly arrived, with her roommate Ikari Shinji in tow. Hikari
smiled, thinking about what the morning's conflict would be
over. A late rise to the waking world, perhaps? Burned toast?
An improperly cared-for penguin?
"You IDIOT!" shouted Asuka. "I cannot believe you. You have
no pride in your work WHATSOEVER. You're an
embarrassment to all of NERV and the entire United Nations."
"But--but--it looked so tasteless..."
"Quiet. It's done with, thanks to you and your cowardice. Good
morning, Hikari-chan. Shinji's being stupid."
"I guessed so," said Hikari. She beckoned to Asuka to follow her
out into the hallway. "What's all this NERV business?"
"Hmph. I thought it would be inspiring if we painted kill marks
on our Evas, so I stenciled some haloes with Xs through them
on the purple one he has. And then he had them painted over!
Without telling me!"
Hikari lifted her nose. "I think that's quite a nice idea."
"Isn't it though? Hey, so what's up?"
Hikari sighed and said, "Will Katsuragi-san be at your apartment
today?"
"Misato? Sure. What do you want with her?"
She bowed her head and whispered, "I'd rather not say, right
now. When does she get home?"
Asuka scratched her head. "Um, she usually comes--wait! That's
right! She's taking today off because she's been putting in
overtime for the past two weeks. Why don't you come home
with me right after school? We can work on our report for
history class together."
"That's a good idea," said Hikari. "Let's meet after last period,
then." The two girls went inside the classroom as the bell
chimed.
--
Major Katsuragi Misato, highest-ranking woman within the
United Nations Forces and NERV, responsible for the defense of
humanity against the threat of the Angels, scratched herself. She
itched. She was dressed in a thin white t-shirt and a pair of boxer
shorts. Her attention was occupied by the pile of mail in her
arms that she had only begun to leaf through; then the sound of
a key came from the front door and three young adults poured
inside.
"Misato?" said Asuka. "I brought Hikari-chan home today.
We're going to be working on our project for History class
together. We're putting our stuff in the living room."
"Go on in. I'm sick to death of watching TV. Hi, Hikari-chan."
Misato nodded absently at Hikari's greeting and set the mail on
the kitchen table. Pen-Pen joined her picking through the pile.
"'Aria Club Selection-of-the-Month', that's for
Shinji...'Verofften Institut Meeresforschen Bremerhaven
Sonderbund' and 'Ko-Gyaru', those are for Asuka...'June', this is
for ME... 'Fish Monthly', 'Fish Quarterly', 'Fish Semiannually',
and 'Icelandic Trawler', those are for you...and give me that
catalogue back, Shin-kun." Shinji wiped his nose off on a paper
napkin.
Into the kitchen came Asuka, with Hikari following her quietly.
Asuka wore a bright smile on her face. "Shinji, I've got an idea!"
"What is it?"
"Hikari and I want to talk with Misato, so why don't you go off
to your room and snivel for a while?"
Misato couldn't help herself. She threw back her head and
laughed at Shinji's expression of dismay and impotence.
"Shinji, don't take it so bad. You've got your new album to
listen to. Go on, then. I'll call to you when we're done." Shinji
slumped his shoulders and padded off to his room, with Pen-
Pen accompanying him for camaraderie.
Misato watched them until she heard Shinji's door close, then
she sat across from Asuka at the kitchen table. She popped open
a
fresh can of sake, downed a quarter of it, then said breezily,
"Now then, Hikari-chan, what's up?"
"I'm pregnant."
Silence.
Then, again, "I'm pregnant."
Her hands were folded in her lap. Her shoulders were tilted just
away from the straight back of the chair. Her head had been
tilted down, and she raised it as she said, "Misato-san, I just
don't know what to do."
Asuka remained where she was, her eyes feeling tender. Misato
silently moved around the table to Hikari's right side. Hikari
half turned to her. "I've been so scared, so afraid of doing
anything. I haven't even told my parents yet."
"Hikari-chan." Misato put a hand on Hikari's shoulder and
another on the clasped pair in her lap. Hikari reached out to
Misato's hands and squeezed them as Asuka drew her own chair
closer to Hikari's. "Hikari-chan, I'm so glad you're telling me.
I'll help you however I can."
"Thank you." She bowed at the shoulders and wiped a tear from
the corner of her eye.
"Now, the first thing I want you to tell me," said Misato, "is how
far along you are." She had risen, and she walked across the
kitchen to the telephone. There was a note pad and a pen lying
by the phone.
"It'll be five weeks ago on Friday."
"Uh-huh." Misato made a note of it. Instead of moving on, she
saw that Hikari wasn't done and fell silent. _I don't need to
know this,_ she thought, _but Hikari needs to tell us._
"There was a party that night. One of the high-school girls had
invited me because I'm the class president. I took Touji with me.
We got there, and we had fun, but then some guys crashed the
party with some booze. Well, one wasn't going to kill us, so he
and I each had some to drink.
"It didn't seem like we drank that much, but...neither of us was
thinking straight. He tried to walk me home, but we ended up
going to his house. His father wasn't home, and his sister is still
in the hospital. We kissed for a while, and then...I guess things
got out of hand. He used one of his father's condoms, but it
broke.
"The next morning, we were both feeling terrible, so we decided
to forget that it had happened. He took me home, and I snuck in
without my parents noticing. I couldn't lie to them about
drinking, but I didn't tell them that I'd been with Touji that
night.
"I couldn't stop worrying. I snuck a pregnancy test kit home
with me last night, and this morning I tested positive. And I just
don't know what to do. And Misato-san, you..."
"I'm a slut."
Hikari and Asuka both giggled nervously. "Yes. You're quite
promiscuous."
Misato finally returned to her seat. "Well, I may get around, but
that means I won't keep it to myself. One thing I want to make
clear to you, though, Hikari--even though I'm willing to help
you come to a decision, in the end, you're the one who makes it.
I can't do that for you. Do you understand that?"
"Yes."
"As long as that's clear." Misato jotted down some notes on the
pad. "Hikari, there are really just two options that you have
now--you can either keep the baby, or you can abort it.
Everything else is a variation on the two. If you want to keep the
baby, you can raise it yourself, or you can put it up for adoption.
If you want an abortion, there's a couple of different ways that
you can go about it."
Hikari let out a small gasp. "But--don't abortions for young girls
require parental consent?"
"We'll worry about that later, Hikari-chan. So, abortions. It's still
early enough in the pregnancy, you may be able to take a drug
such as RU-486. If you do, then you won't even have to go to a
clinic, the fetus will be sloughed off of your body in your
period."
Hikari's eyes widened, and she paled. Asuka gaped at Misato. "In
your period? That's awful! I can't imagine anything worse than
passing a fetus!"
_The kids today never cease to surprise me,_ thought Misato.
"Well, there are other ways. I think five weeks is soon enough
to have a regular clinical abortion. That might be more
expensive, and you'd have to see one of their doctors, but I'd
loan you some money if you need it."
"What about my parents? What about Touji?"
Misato winked. "I know a couple of places that might 'misplace'
the paperwork, Hikari. You wouldn't have to tell anyone if you
didn't want to."
Hikari hung her head again. "I couldn't ever tell Touji about
this. He's sensitive enough around his sister, I can't think of
how he'd act if he knew that he got me pregnant." Beside her,
Asuka didn't agree, but she didn't object. "And my only other
choice is...to have the baby?"
"Yes, that's right," said Misato. "Your parents would have to be
informed, and you'd have to see an obstetrician, and you'd have
to change your lifestyle to accommodate the baby. On the other
hand, a lot of my friends are happy mothers. I'm sure you could
make a good mother if you tried it."
Hikari was silent, thinking very hard. Asuka leaned to her and
said, "Hikari...I don't care what you do. I'm your best friend, and
I'll be with you no matter what, at the clinic or the delivery
room. I promise."
"Me too," said Misato.
Hikari was silent, still thinking. Then she became quieter than
silent.
Daniel Snyder
in his new abode at dsnydder@gunnm-seraphim.org
If I wasn't such a strange person,
this would all seem so confusing.
(
geocities.com/seele_hq)