2. Experiments should be reproducible. They should all fail in the same way.
3. A record of data is essential. It makes it look like you have been working.
4. Teamwork in the lab is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.
5. Do not believe in miracles, depend on them.
6. In case of doubt, make it positive, convincing and illegible.
7. Write-ups are intended for showing the superior how much a lab confuses you.
8. One tenth molar is for weenies. Six molar is much better.