"I wrote a letter yesterday
Just trying to explain
Couldn't find the words to say
'Cause you are so far away
So far away"  

He stood there on the doorway. Looking at the paper on his hand and then back to the door. Orlando was fighting with himself, with his conscience if he should gave her the letter or just walk away like she did. It had been months that he hasn't seen her. Months, that he haven't heard from his angel, keeper of his heart and soul. The only one who could keep his head on his shoulders, from all of the fame. It had been months he wanted to get news from her, but the others shut their mouths, through his Angel's wish. But the ones who really shut him out were Viggo and Elijah. He had talked to Liv and Ian a few days ago when they went out for a coffee. They both admitted to Orlando that his Angel was heartbroken.

They only said she haven't talked to anyone for nearly a whole month and only locked herself in her bedroom. When Liv had finally convinced to her to let in, she was shocked and terrified from what lay upon her eyes. How she describe the stat his Angel was, how she was all curled up in her bedroom, how many weight she had lost to the point his Angel's body was almost demolish. Orlando wanted to make up for everything. He wanted to be with her, healed her from the pain he had cause. He looked back at the letter in his hand and remembered every single details of the night when he had wrote his yesterday's letter...

"I wrote a letter yesterday
It's so hard for me to face
That it had to end this way
But my love will never change
Will never change"

 Orlando was in his living room of his apartment. He supposed to move in with his girlfriend, Kate Bosworth, but he couldn't endure the new place. Because his heart was still at the old apartment. His heart was still with her. With his Angel. He sat there, in silence, in the dark, no lights in sight, just with a lamp, a piece of paper and a pen. He sat there, playing with the necklace that was once belong to his love, to his Angel. He remembered that how she had left. Left him alone in the park, under the moonlight. He slowly remembered how her figure disappeared into the darkness. How he sat on the bench, playing with the necklace. He didn't know how long he was there, because once he looked up it was already dawn. 'The red sun rise. The blood of my angel's heart had been spill by my selfishness.', he said to himself, before he took the courage and strength to leave.

One of his last memory about her, was the sad expression and the tears cascaded down her soft cheeks. How she unclasped the necklace, and with her trembled lips, kissed his forehead. That was when he felt she had erected walls around her gentle and delicate heart. He slowly opened his eyes as a couple of tears appeared.

"When I search my soul to find the truth
About the love we shared
I wonder why you're no longer here"

 Orlando knew why she wasn't here anymore. He knew all to well. He looked around his apartment and every memories were pilling up on his shoulders. Not how many time he tried to wash his sheets or clothes, there was always the intoxicated scent of citrus of her roaming around. He haven't change anything in the apartment, left it the way it was after she came and took her stuffs. He was out for a photo shoots on the same day. Usually, it was his Angel who was with him at the studio. But no, it was Kate. Even if he showed a few smile, but he was hiding form the truth. Hiding from the feeling which were torturing his soul. When he came back home that same night, he didn't notice any changes. The only thing missing was her presence and her voice, which usually either be her angelic singing voice or 'Baby!'. That sweet voice of hers was no longer in his apartment. No more cuddle, kisses, no more love. His soul was torture between his Angel and Kate.

He only walked towards his bedroom, which was once filled with love-making, cuddling and deep conversation about their future. And there it was, stood in front of him. The last sign of their love. She took her things, but left something on his bed. A little note with a single red rose. She had always love roses, especially the red and white ones. The note was simple and sweet, like she is. Simple and sweet. Telling him to be happy and wished him all the best. He wanted to be happy, but how could he be happy without her in his life?

He took out the little note out of his wallet with a picture of them together. It was a picture taken a few days after they started dating. They were at the beach with the cast of the Fellowship. The picture was taking during the sunset. He was happy. She was happy. They were happy and in love.

"You can just walk away
But I don't feel the same
My heart still beats for you, breathes for you, sings for you
And these feelings will never fade
I can hide my pain
But I can never hide the way I feel for you"

 Kate was out shopping with a few of her friends. He supposed to joined her, but Orlando didn't had his attention of shopping. He doesn't enjoyed it like he used to. He supposed to go to a barbecue which was held by Sean Astin, but he knew that she would be there. Everyone was going to be there, the Fellowship, the family that he had while 18 months in New-Zealand. Oh, he wanted to go to so much. To seen them, laughing, talking, playing tricks, like they used to. But everything had change. Everything, just by one single mistake. His mistake. His foolish act. It wasn't Kate's fault. It was his. Kate was just the product of perfect timing. If it hadn't had been Kate Bosworth, it would have been another woman some other time. All he knew was that he never would have fallen to temptation if his relationship at the time had not gotten stale. He wanted something new. Something fresh and exciting. But he though wrong, he still need his Angel.

"I've been talking in my sleep
About the way it used to be
Girl, I pray that you'll hear me
And then I'll see you in my dreams
Oh, in my dreams"
Several nights, he asked Kate to go back to her apartment, because he needed time for himself. A little confused, she accepted his wishes without asking questions. He didn't want her to find the picture of him and his Angel together, hiding underneath the mattress. Many nights, he stared at the picture. Many endless night, he couldn't have a shut eye. Every times he shut his eyes, the picture of his Angel haunted his minds and thoughts. The thought of not having her next to him, was eating him inside. Nothing was going to be the same anymore. Nothing. Not even the comfort of his dog, Maude, could healed his tortured pain.

If he felt asleep, in his splendid dreams, he could see her. He could see them. Both of them together again. Both of them together like the way before. Cuddling, kissing and in love. A smile appeared on his lips, but when he was about to put his arms around next to him. It was either Kate or just an empty space. Many nights he cried alone in bed, many nights he haven't sleep. Many nights he wished and prayed to God to bring her back to him. Many nights he wanted her back. Many nights he wanted to called up and just listen to her voice. He missed how she would sing him to sleep, like a child. But she was gone. She was not with him anymore.

"But I can't forget the words you said
To move on with my life
And no matter what, I'll carry you inside"

 Orlando looked up on his bookshelf. He noticed she had forgot to bring one of her favorite books. The first series of a 3 part saga "La Reine Libert?uot; by Christian Jacq. She was always been a fan of reading. French or English, she loved them all. Especially books which got to do with vampires, witches, suspense, and especially historical. He picked up the brook from the shelf and smiled softly. He remembered how she completely ignore him for almost 2 weeks, because she was so into the story about freedom and triumph during the Ancient Egyptian time, with the help of Queen Ahotep, known as the Queen who believes to free her people one day. He was so sick and tired of her ignorance. Couldn't handle the fact that she was more into a book than him and just started their first fight. As he got his back turn, she cursed and yelled back at him in French. She was pretty shock when he replied back at her in French, "Pardon? Qu'est-ce que tu as dit?", before he burst out in laughter from her shocking reaction.

"You can just walk away
But I don't feel the same
My heart still beats for you, breathes for you, sings for you
And these feelings will never fade
I can hide my pain
But I can never hide the way I feel for you"

 Then the memories took him back from when he saw her the other day, when he and Kate were out for a coffee. Once Orlando saw her, his heart nearly stopped beating and got weaken at the knees. 'She still remains so beautiful, after all this time.' She was sitting alone, drinking and reading the last book of the saga. He sat down and while she was in his vision field. She looked so calm, so innocent.

Slowly, she put her book down and looked around her in the corner of her eyes. He knew that she felt someone was looking at her, she could feel it. Then, she caught his glance and looked at him with wide eyes. They were staring at each others for moments, but moments seemed like eternity. She shook her head, threw some changes on the table and left. Walking passed him and Kate in hasted, not exchanging a look with Orlando. He turned around and saw Elijah who was coming towards her. She just grabbed his hand and walked away. Elijah turned his head and looked at him quickly and held her by the waist as she rested her head on his shoulder. Orlando continued to stared at them until they disappeared through the crowd. Kate was asking questions. He didn't answer. He only ran his fingers through his hairs. His mind was finally torture. He missed and needed her.

"Sooner or later, you're going to realize
That this kind of love happens once in your life
So, open your eyes, girl
And see what we could be
Come back to me"

 Pain and sadness shoot through his heart, like a lighting waves all over his body. As tears cascaded slowly down his soft cheeks, Orlando opened his fatigue eyes. Through his watery eyes and tangled curls, he looked at the paper which were, now covered with fuzzy letters. The painful memory was aching and tortured his heart and soul. The way her eyes were looking and pleading at him like a lost soul looking for comfort. The way she passed him was like she never knew him. And especially how she clinging into Elijah's hand for support. How Elijah's looked at him with hate-filled eyes, Orlando finally saw the big picture once more. She was leading a normal life without him, she was okay. But once his Angel saw him, she was in pain and he was the cause of it. He never knew and even though he would be or even acted like he was. Never he though, he would be the one with the broken heart. He though he was the strong one, but he wasn't. He still loved her. He needed her. He missed her, not Kate. He wanted his Angel back.

He got up from his chair and walked around the apartment as more memories about their time together were passed through his head. It was their home. Any where he turned or looked, more memories. It was killing him and he knew the only way for him to stop being torture is to move away, but in his heart, he knew it was impossible.

After taking another beer after one another and many sad love songs playing in the stereo, he sat back down on his chair and scribbled every single thing and word, anything flowing or passed through his mind and heart. Anything to make her realized how much he hurt her and how sorry he was. How much he missed her. How much he needed her. Especially how much he still loved her and wanted her back in his life. If he had the power to turn back time, he would change everything.

"You can just walk away
But I don't feel the same
My heart still beats for you, breathes for you, sings for you
And these feelings will never fade
I can hide my pain
But I can never hide the way I feel for you"

 Orlando reopened his fatigue and red eyes, from too much crying and endless nights of sleep. He stood in front of the door as tears cascaded down his brown eyes. In his hand was the letter he wrote, now all crumbles in his hand. He knew how terrible he looked since he didn't got any sleep. He had spend through the breaking of dawn thinking about her, and trying to bring his letter to perfection with the right word. Anything to win her back.

Orlando closed his eyes again, took a deep breath and with his trembling fingers and all his courage, he rang the doorbell. As he heard her voice, her sweet and delicate angelic voice, yelling out she would get the door. He froze. Orlando didn't want her to see him, afraid to see the pain in her eyes. He immediately walked away from his Angel's home. He left with a heavy heart, but wished to see her innocent face once more. 'How her smile could lid up a room.', he remembered. But all Orlando knew his Angel's would only find the bouquet of rose he had left on the door mat, and with his yesterday's letter...

"You can just walk away
But I don't feel the same
My heart still beats for you, breathes for you, sings for you
And these feelings will never fade
I can hide my pain
But I can never hide the way I feel for you"

 "Yesterday's Letter" - 98*
~* Not The End *~