Disclaimer: The Sentinel and all Sentinel characters are owned by UPN and Pet Fly. I have not and will not make any money off this story. If you want to go ahead and sue me anyway, all you will get us a large HECS bill and a heap of other debts.

Title: DRUGS

Author/pseudonym: Sentarla

Rating: PG

Status: 1/8

Original posting date: 17/09/98

This posting date: 31/12/98

Archive: Yes ohhhhh PLEASE do!!!!!!

Series/Sequel: Non

My Website: http://www.oocities.org/sentarla

E-mail: Sentarla (Please be nice)

Note: Hi. This is a revise of my original Drugs part one, except I now have 2 wonderful Betas. Shycat and Bonnie went through this a while back, but I have been too busy with Uni and other Stories, (and getting more of Drug posted) to worry about this part. I would like to say thank you too all the people who have read this so far, and to all the people who e-mailed me about Simone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The last month had been good to Blair Sandburg, Jim thought as he watched his guide sitting at their desk. His U workload had been light and no psychos or criminals from Jim's past had tried to hurt his friend. For a change, Jim felt comfortable and relaxed.

"Detective, have you heard a word I've said?"

Jim snapped his head around to look at his irritated Captain and gave him his full attention; well, all but the small part reserved for monitoring his Guide.

"Yeah Simon, you were trying to talk me into stakeout duty tonight. You'll have to come up with a better deal than next weekend off, we are both scheduled for it anyway."

"Jim, if I have to I'll order you."

"Okay Okay." Jim raised his hands in mock surrender. "Well do it."

"Thanks, Jim." Whatever he was going to say was suddenly forgotten when he saw his friend tense, the tilt if his head indicating he was focusing on something.

"Jim, Jim, what is it?"

"Blair�E" The large man whispered before rushing out of the office and over to his partner.

Blair was having a panic attack. He knew he was having a panic attack. Breathing was impossible and black dots were dancing in front of his eyes. The only sounds he could hear was the pounding of his heart and the blood rushing through his head. The sensation of somebody touching his arm sent him reeling away, his breathing even more strained. The touch returned a moment later with a persistent voice demanding his attention.

After a brief internal struggle, Blair brought his eyes
into focus on the person next to him; concentrating hard, he was able to make out the words.

"Breathe with me, Blair. In. Out. In. Out. Nice and
slow�En. Out. That's it Chief, you're doing great." Keeping the breathing and encouraging words up, Jim helped his partner calm down. Once the Sentinel had decided his Guide would soon be all right, Jim indicated to Simon all clear.

Clearing his throat, Simon told all the other concerned officers to go back to work. Not taking his own advice, Simon stepped back and watched his two friends.

"Chief, you okay, you with me, buddy?"

"Yeyeyea, Jim. Sorry.. I'm. Okay." Blair replied between depth breaths.

"What happened Chief, what scared you?"

"Nothing man, I'm okay."

Looking sternly at his Guide and folding his arms the Sentinel in no uncertain words told him otherwise.

" Don't give me that crap, Sandburg.I want to know and I want to know now."

Bowing his head in resignation, Blair mumbled sentinel soft. "Please man, not here, please."

Sighing, Jim ran a hand through his short hair. "Okay Chief, get your jacket."

Turning to his captain, Jim spoke to the concerned man.

"Simon, Blair won't talk here, I'm taking him back to the loft, so we can sort this out. I'll call as soon as I know something."

Nodding his head, Simon watched as his best detective guided the young, distressed observer out of the Bullpen. Sighing at the picture of an over protective sentinel.

The trip to the loft was quiet. Blair's breathing had returned to a normal rhythm, but his heart rate was still too fast for the sentinel's liking; something was definitely wrong. Once in the loft, Blair tried to avoid any talk. After he had disappeared into his room, Jim made a cup of tea for his friend, a soothing blend of peppermint and skull cap. When Blair came back out wearing some old sweat pants and a large Cascade PD sweatshirt, Jim knew it was time to talk. Motioning to his Guide to the couch , Jim brought over the tea.

All went well until Blair saw the tea in Jim's hand. Suddenly his heart rate shot up, and he was agitated and would not sit still. Getting up off the couch, Blair backed away from Jim, his mind somewhere else. Not understanding, but deeply concerned, Jim put the cup on the table and went to his Guide.

"Chief, what’s wrong? It’s only me. You want some tea?" At this question, Blair jumped as if burnt. Noting the reaction, Jim figured it had something to do with the tea.

"Okay Chief, I'm going to put the tea in the kitchen, then we are going to talk."

Still not getting any answer, Jim did as he said, and then went back to his Guide.

"Okay Chief, we’re going to sit down and talk, okay?"

Leading the stressed man over to the couch, Jim got them both comfortable and waited.

After what seemed forever, but was in fact only ten minutes, Blair started to talk. "I'm like so, so sorry man, about earlier. I just got a letter and it brought a lot of bad memories back."

" What letter, Chief?"

"Oh sorry, man, I ripped it up. I was so scared, I had to destroy it. Before I can tell you what is on the letter, I have to tell you something that happened to me as a child." Blair paused, not sure if he was ready to go on. Sensing his partners hesitation, Jim reached over and placed his hand on his Guide's arm. "I'm here, Blair, nothing you can say could ever change that."

Turning thankful eyes on his Sentinel, Blair continued.

"It happened a long time ago, I was only five. Naomi was between boyfriends, so we had gone to stay with some friends. I thought it was really cool, they lived in a commune. Anyway, after a few days, Naomi started getting restless again. Now that I think about it, all the adults were. I guess they knew what was going to happen. We went to bed, having said goodbye to everyone, because we were going to leave at first light.

Suddenly, I woke up, people were screaming, it was so bright that it could have been day. Naomi picked me up and we tried to get out, but there were so many police officers. They were taking all the children and anyone who resisted was hurt. They took me from Naomi; I yelled and screamed, and Naomi tried to hurt the man who had me, but she was hit from behind, knocked unconscious. I don't remember much from then on, I was out in a van with the other children and taken away. The next day I was on a plane, and being flown half way across the country. I begged for Naomi, but was told to shut up, she didn't exist anymore. I was now owned by them.

I spent the next month in an orphanage. They were nice, they didn't

know where I came from, I think. One day, a man came and took me away, I was told I was going to live with him now. I really hated it. As soon as

he got me home, he took me into the bathroom and cut my hair. The next thing I knew tears were rolling down my face and I had a short military hair cut."

Blair paused, fingering a long curl as he thought about that moment. Knowing he should not interrupt his guide, Jim waited for him to go on, not liking where this story was going.

Taking a breath, Blair continued. "Anyway, the next two months were hell. He had so many rules and I got so much punishment that I nearly stopped talking. Every now and then someone would come over and I would not say a word. After 3 months, I never spoke or cried out when the punishment got too bad. At times, talking just made things worse, but if I spoke, I got hit for asking questions, or for talking too much; this seemed the easiest way.

When I started school the teacher knew something was up. The man was important in the community, and therefore never questioned. After awhile they told him to keep me at home, I was depressing the rest of the class. I had loved school, it got me out of the house, but even that had been taken from me. I guess that was when it really started. Not long after eating breakfast, I started getting sleepy. By lunch time, I was totally out of it. I would not wake up till breakfast again, and I would feel really horrible. This continued awhile, until one morning I felt really hyper, you know, I couldn't sit down, and I felt like I would explode. I guess he could tell because he made me sit in a chair and not move all day. God, I nearly went insane. I didn't know it, but for the next year, I was a guinea pig. He was drugging all my food and drinks, recording all my reactions. I found out later he was some chemist or something, and did not have testing permission.

The school had been told I had come down with some strange illness, and school was out of the question for some time. When the school sent a doctor over, I was so out of it, they could have performed an autopsy and I would not have known. My body was covered in rashes and spots, my hair was falling out, what little I had, and thinking a complete sentence was impossible. By this time, I think he had decided to end our working relationship. Over the next week, I started to get really sick, stomach cramps and similar things. He made me drink when I could not eat anymore, and I sorta knew my time was almost up. It had been over a year and Naomi hadn't come for me, so I thought she didn't care? about me, so I didn't care what happened to me anymore.

I remember one morning waking up and seeing him watching me; he had a strange look in his eyes. He brought me a drink and told me to drink it. I was so weak, I couldn't lift my head. He sat on the edge of the bed and touched my face. I remember him telling me, it was a shame that I was not older because he had a heap of things he needed help on, but as a child I was useless. He told me not to worry, that after a sleep, I would feel much better. I remember hearing a door bell, as he made me drink some of the water. He set the glass down and went to see who it was. Not long after he left, I started to get really bad cramps. I felt like my stomach was being eaten from the inside out. I was no longer aware of what was happening. I was sure I was going to die, when I heard Naomi’s voice, I felt her hands on me and I could smell sage. I knew then that she did love me. The man was kept occupied by my old teacher, while my mum sneaked us out the back way. Mum told me later that I was the 4th child to have come down with an illness once in the man's care. When Naomi had gone to the school to see if I had been in the town, the teacher found out how I was taken. She then proceeded to tell Naomi, her suspicions, and brought her to the house I was staying in.

I tried to talk, but once Naomi picked me up I blacked out. When I next woke up I was in the hospital. ..Man, did I freak out. If Naomi hadn't been there, I'm sure they would have put me in restraints. Naomi told me that the doctors decided to knock me out until I was better, due to my reaction. I was told that I had been poisoned with arsenic in the end, small doses until that last one, had I drunk it all, I would be dead, no question about it.

Once the hospital could do nothing for me, Naomi took me, and we left. I was withdrawn for some time. It took Naomi about 6 months to get me to talk again, or so I was told. Naomi found out that a man named Michaels had bought me off the police. Naomi complained, and all that happened, was Michaels got his license revoked for 5 years, and the police officers, discharged from the service. It took some time for me to get over my fear of drinks and food from other people, but Naomi was patient. I used all my spare time researching into herbal medicine, and promised myself that I would never get into a situation where I had to take drugs, no matter what." Taking a breath Blair stopped talking.

Jim moved over and put his arm on Blair's shoulders.

"God, Chief, I never knew. God, how have you been able to stand all the hospital visits?"

Smiling slightly at his Sentinel, Blair replied softly, "I knew you were there, man, I knew you where there."

Pausing for a moment, not able to speak, Jim gave his Guide a squeeze.

"So what was in the letter, Chief?" Jim asked softly, not sure if he was ready to deal with it. Shivering slightly, Blair leaned into Jim's protection.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well I hope that was smother to read! J

Part 2