How I met Keno,
By Angus BladeHammer
So there I was, no kiddin’. Knee deep in troll guts, mosta’ me squad were dead. Just me an one that was too injured to walk. But we had won. Our commander lay in a pool of his own blood, obviously he was neigh returnin’ ta’ the earth circle wi’ the rest o me squad. I had one dwarf wi’ a broken leg on one shoulder, and the body o me commander on the other. I was about ta return home an’ make sure the injured got ta ha healer, and that the commander got his proper farewell and burial. When all of a sudden out the bushes pops a great beast of a troll! Neigh just a regular one like what we’d been fightin’ but an unusually large beast that carried what looked like a tree he had just ripped out the ground! He clobbered me good as I was burdened with two bodies. Back I flew and me friends were gone from me sight. The troll raised its tree sized club, an’ I knew I was going back ta the circle an’ then comin’ back fer’ me friends. Then I heard it. A low growl coming from the bushes, the troll heard it too, but not soon enough. Out from the trees ran the biggest, angriest lookin, and best dressed Gorbei I had ever seen. He was carryin’ a long stick, wi’ a knife on the end, later he told me it was called a polearm. Before the troll even realized what was coming at it, it was missing an arm, then a leg, and before it hit the ground, its head. I gawked in disbelief as I saw this mighty creature cut the beast ta’ shreds in seconds. I tried ta get out a thank you or some sort of greeting but I was in shock from the display of sheer feline fury. Noticing my awed expression, the Gorbei turned to me and said, “Look at my new boots.” We’ve been the closest of friends ever since.