Now, many of you who come to this library know me
fairly well. And if you know me fairly well, then one
of the things you know about me is that I have
something of an ongoing feud with a ghost named
Belmuse, that started a few weeks ago when he showed
up in a tavern in Avendale. Essentially, what the
feud comes down to is that Belmuse thinks I am boring
and I don't trust him.
Perhaps I should give a little more information here,
though. Belmuse lived in Neridia about two hundred
years ago, and he discovered that there was great
power in the act of laughter. Thus, he created a
funhouse for enjoyment and entertainment by all.
Unfortunately, after his death, the funhouse fell into
disrepair, and has never been restored back to its
former glory.
Belmuse came to Avendale seeking adventurers to go
through his funhouse. I was none too pleased to be
seeing a ghost enter the tavern, and so I quickly
developed a mistrust for Belmuse, and watched him very
carefully. I did not laugh at any of his jokes, but
instead asked him serious questions. Belmuse did not
like this, and so declared me to be boring, and chided
me for it both there and on the door of House Bashere.
I took no great offense to Belmuse's chiding, but
still would not trust him. Unfortunately, a post on
the wall of House Bashere indicated that I would be
one of the eight people to accompany him to the
funhouse. That night, I had a dream about the
funhouse, which was sent to me directly be Belmuse, as
I found out later. I will not go into depth about the
content of the dream here, but suffice to say that I
was something less than thrilled to be receiving
dreams from Belmuse.
When I arrived in Neridia for this past weekend's
gathering, I was of course aware that I was probably
going to have to deal with Belmuse and visit the
funhouse. And I was proven correct, when Belmuse
showed up in the tavern with his friend Indecision,
who seemed to be an icon of indecision, on the first
night of the gathering. Myself and the members of
House Bashere spoke to Belmuse and Indecision a
little, but nothing significant was learned.
Now, I must interrupt this story for a brief moment
here, or what occurs later will make no sense. Later
that evening, I was sitting in the tavern with my
friend Lilaiethyn Phellanyrastralae, and we were both
feeling pretty loose. We were having a good
conversation, the topic of which was wrong ways to
interpret sentences.
Lili informed me that you could make any sentence
sound like innuendo by adding "baby" to the end of it.
She gave me an example as being, "Lets go out and
kill some goblins, baby."
Intrigued by this, I set out to prove that she was
wrong. The sentence that I came up with that would
not sound like innuendo even with "baby" at the end
was, "See that guy over there? He's picking his nose,
baby."
Lili and I both burst out laughing, and then attempted
to show that even such a strange sentence could be
viewed as innuendo. Her first four or five attempts,
she could not even manage to say the sentence
correctly. Finally, on her sixth attempt or so, she
managed to get the sentence out, but it did not sound
like innuendo. she tried again, and even I had to
admit, she had made the sentence sound somewhat like
innuendo.
Now I must move forward a bit in my story, to later
that night. Belmuse was in House Bashere's cabin, and
as I usually do, I was staring at him, stone faced,
making sure he didn't try anything. Belmuse was
largely ignoring me, as he considered me too boring to
be worth his effort, and he was talking to the other
people in the cabin.
Lili saw this situation, and decided to prove to
Belmuse that I was in fact amusing. She crept up next
to me, and whispered into my ear, "See that guy over
there? He's picking his nose, baby."
I burst out laughing. I couldn't stop. I laughed for
a long time. Everyone else in the House thought I was
insane. I kept pointing at Lili, as if to say she did
it, but I was laughing so hard I couldn't speak. Lili
didn't tell them what she had said, either, but
instead kept it to herself. I laughed for about three
minutes, almost non-stop, before it finally passed.
Belmuse looked on, indifferent, for most of the time.
He then informed me at the end that even laughing did
not prove that I was not boring, since I was still
acting serious towards him.
The next night, Saturday night of the gathering,
Belmuse again showed up. This time, he wanted to take
us to his funhouse.
We were not given a great deal of say in the matter,
and before long we found ourselves heading to
Belmuse's funhouse. The group we took was made up of
basically House Bashere people: Squire Jokarius,
Squire Candidate Titania, Bling, Xylon, Dale, Jimmy,
Lili, and myself.
When we arrived there, Belmuse showed us the tattered
remains of the funhouse, and told us that we would be
going to the spirit plane version of the funhouse. He
gave us two options for how to get there: the easy way
and the hard way. Now, I favored the easy way, but
most people favored the hard way, and so we decided to
take the hard way.
A cloud of gas appeared, and begun attacking us with
strikes of arcane death. We wasted a few life spells,
but then we all eventually succumbed to it.
However, we did not die fully, as our spirits were
then taken from our bodies and brought to the
funhouse. Now, this was the second time in the same
weekend that we had entered spirit form, and I must
tell you, it is not an altogether pleasant experience.
When we arrived at the spirit plane version of the
funhouse, we looked around and noticed that we were
all there except for Squire Jokarius. However, we
appeared to be faded, as if we were spectators only,
and could not interfere in what we were about to see.
A moment later, Squire Jokarius appeared, and he
appeared to be unfaded, unlike the rest of us. He was
on a platform, and he had a glass of water in his
hand. His hat was nowhere to be seen. Belmuse and
Indecision were there, though, and they explained to
him that if he wanted his hat back, he had to jump
from platform to platform without spilling the glass
of water, and while being pelted with little stones.
He then, at the end of the test, had to deliver the
unspilled glass of water to Instant Gratification to
get his hat back. Squire Jokarius accepted the
challenge, and the game was afoot. He moved
skillfully from platform to platform, using his shield
to guard himself from the stones being thrown at him.
Finally, after about a minute, he made it to the end
of the test and received his hat back. As he did, he
faded out like the rest of us.
We then found ourselves back in the funhouse, or the
ethereal version of it, anyway. We all appeared to be
unfaded. We wandered on a bit, and came to another
room, where we all faded out except for Bling.
When we could see again, we noticed that Bling was on
the shore, with a fishing pole in his hand. He
appeared to be fishing, which was odd. It is well
known that Bling loves fish, but he also hates water,
and so he appeared to be very scared. He kept
creeping back away from the water, but kept the
fishing pole in. Belmuse was nowhere to be seen, but
Indecision sat there next to him. Suddenly, Bling
began to feel a tug at the line. A giant fin appeared
in the water, and it seemed as if Bling had caught a
shark. Bling was petrified, and did not seem to know
what to do. Indecision suggested that perhaps he
should use his spells. Bling began chucking flame
bolts at the shark, but was not successful in hitting
it. The line began to grow ever tighter, and Bling
became more and more frightened. Indecision suggested
that perhaps he should try something else, and so
Bling began throwing ice at the shark, but again could
not seem to hit it. Finally, Bling managed to peg the
shark with a flame bolt, and it appeared to do the
trick, as the shark sank into the water and the line
went limp. Just as we were all about to be relieved,
though, the line went taut again, and the shark again
came after Bling. Bling, in desperation, threw a
lightning storm at the shark, and managed to fry it
just in time. With that, Bling faded out.
We all faded in back in the funhouse again. We
wandered a little further, and we all faded out except
for Titania.
Belmuse and Indecision were there with Titania, along
with Instant Gratification. Titania was asked if she
would like to learn more about the fae part of her,
and she responded in the affirmative. She later
explained that she did this because Lady Elayne had
previously explained that the best way to get through
the funhouse was to have fun, and so that is what she
was doing, and so I in no way hold it against her.
What we then witnessed seemed to be a pitched battle,
although we could only see one side. All of us,
except Titania, were fighting some unseen foe, and
losing badly. We kept calling for Titania to help us,
but she was not there. One by one, we saw ourselves
begin to fall. Finally, as we were all about to be
taken out, the image faded, and Titania faded out.
We faded back in within the funhouse, and we wandered
forward for a little longer. Soon everyone but Lili
and I faded out. Instant Gratification appeared
again, along with Belmuse and Indecision, of course.
Instant Gratification attempted to tempt me with an
offer of knowledge. She promised me such a great
amount of knowledge that it could not be gained even
in an Elven lifetime. The price I would have to pay
for this would be to give up my Elven lifetime, and
essentially become so old as to have missed my life.
She even threw in a freebie, and told me the location
of the library of the Great Wizards. Of course, this
offer was tempting, but Lili kept trying to tell me
not to accept it. She told me that knowledge was
useless unless gained through experience. She kept
trying to remind me of all the good things I had
experienced in recent weeks being with her in
Quentari, and tell me not to throw everything away.
All the while, I was thinking it through in my own
mind. I eventually realized that there were prices
too high to pay for even knowledge, which I live my
life for, and so I refused her offer. As I did so, I
faded out and even forgot the location of the Great
Wizards' library.
That left Lili there with Instant Gratification and
company. I could not hear a great deal of the
exchange, but essentially Lili was offered a great
deal of healing power, far above her current
abilities, but was never told what the price would be.
The reason she was never told the price is that she
rejected the offer flat-out, and could not be tempted
to even consider Instant Gratification's offer. She
believed that she had to work for her skills. After
she rejected the offer, she faded out. We could,
though, hear Indecision remark to Instant
Gratification, "That's two you lost, you're losing
your touch."
I will not discuss the next part of the funhouse,
except to comment that Lady Death showed up, since we
were on her plane after all, and caused us some havoc.
Also, Titania strange transformed into a glowing ball
of light, much like a will o'the wisp, greatly
perplexing us all.
Soon, we all faded out once again, and Jimmy found
himself at a table playing cards with Indecision and
Belmuse, but this time the rest of us found that we
could wander around and interact so long as we did not
disturb the card game. Lili and I both talked to
Titania, while Squire Jokarius chatted with Lady
Death.
Finally, the card game ended with Belmuse defeating
Jimmy, and Jimmy being certain that Belmuse had
cheated. From later information, it does appear that
Belmuse cheated, though I am not certain exactly how,
as I do not understand cards.
At that point, we all finally faded in at the final
point in the funhouse. Before long, we found ourselves back in our bodies,
and back in the real funhouse, off the spirit plane.
Lady Death was still there, as was Belmuse. Squire
Jokarius was talking with Lady Death, and Bling,
Xylon, Lili, and myself all thought this was strange
for him to be doing. Bling was trying to get everyone
to leave, but Jokarius was wrapped up in conversation.
Lili said she had a way, but it was dangerous. The
rest of us said okay, and so Lili went back into the
funhouse and swiped Squire Jokarius' hat, bringing it
to us. Unfortunately, what we did not realize was
that she had taken it from Lady Death, not Squire
Jokarius. When we realized the mistake that had been
made, the other three of us quickly had her return the
hat to Lady Death.
Finally, we did all leave the funhouse, although I have a feeling that the adventure may not be
quite over yet.
Scribed by Seronia on the 20th day of August in the
year 602.