Adventurers have their embarassing stories, some more than others, here's one of mine, so read, and enjoy a chuckle at my expense:
(So no crap, there I was) It was day two of the gather for the month of May. I had spent the night before hacking through trolls and undead. The Company had holed up in a building along with everyone's favorite purple mystic, Hooch, we were warded and we all slept soundly.
As usual, as soon as the sun rises and the birds start singing, any further sleep for me is usually a lost cause, so I got up, wrapped myself in a blanket, went out on our porch, and enjoyed some early morning trollweed.
I was still covered in the gore that comes with a good fight, and now my blanket was too, it was time for a trip to the bathhouse.
So, I washed my bedroll in a nearby stream, hung it out to dry; tosseed on some sandals and then wrapped a towel around my waist and headed for the batthouse. The tensions (and sticky nastiness) from the night before were washed away and for the first time this gather, I was able to relax. So I closed my eyes and let the water roll off me (scarf was a little drenched, but that's okay, it NEVER comes off, that's just my thing, okay).
So I toweled off, feeling fresh and squeeky clean once again, and I headed back to my cabin to gear up and start the day ahead of me.
"Am!"
Such a strange sound I had never heard before, so I looked around, gripping my blade tightly (also, always comes with me, no matter, again, one of my things), and my eyes fell upon a little bush that was speaking out to me... somehow. So I walked over closer.
So it was a talking bush, no big deal. When you're a world-traveling mercenary, and you venture from city to city, country to country, after a long trek across terrain, no bush is too intimidating to dive into, so I got a little closer.
"Am! Am am am!"
This little bugger was trying to communicate with me. So I replied back "am am?"
"Am am am am am am! AM!"
"AM AM AM AM am?"
"AM!"
Anyhow, picture a conversation like that going on for a few minutes, you'll get the idea, curious, but none too exciting.
I will say that it's good that I answered natures call back in the outhouse next to the bathhouse, because this leafy little thing was really starting to piss me off, and I wouldn't have felt bad answering it right there on this little bastard's trunk. So he was spared retribution by my golden stream of justice.
"Am am am!" he extended out a little branch pointing off at something, then waved it violently. So this little guy was hungry for a rock or something, okay, I can deal with that. So I pointed to the same direction with my hand and asked, "Am am AM am am?"
"AM!" it answered excitedly
Apparently we had made some type of connection here! He needed something from a nearby log, figured he'd leave me alone if I helped it out, I went ahead and turned around to investigate.
Stupid...
Soon as I turned my back I felt a massive vine lash out against my back! I yelled loudly, and almost immediately felt woozy as my vision began to fade. Just as I hit the ground, slipping into unconsciousness, my spirit leaving my body, my head was tilted at such a direction as I could see that little bastard trodding away on branchy little feet chuckling "am am am am am am am am am am am".
And then I blacked out.
I came to a few moments later, blinking groggily, to see Hooch standing above me laughing uncontrollably, I could still taste a bit of healing potion on my lips. I sat up best I could to see what was so funny, and looking down, I could see it was me, laying there sprawled out from the "Am-bush's" assault, stark naked and waring nothing but my birthday suit and the scarf around my neck.
A bit indignantly, I quickly gathered up the towel that had come off and wrapped it back where it needed to go, even though he had just saved my life, I couldn't help but shoot a glare at Hooch, who was still laughing uncontrolably at this whole, embarassing affair at my expense, and very rightly so, I imagine.
But I know this much...
I'm pissing on every Am-bush I come across from here on out.