If you should not be here, leave now.
3. Memoirs from Hell
Friday 5th July
I have returned to Hell, and I might not get out alive. A bit melodramatic, but I knew the minute I walked through the door that this summer would be the worst yet. Uncle Vernon grabbed Hedwig and my trunk the minute we arrived and locked them both in my old cupboard. I must try to get Hedwig out or she’ll starve. Uncle Vernon then escorted me to my room. It is much changed from last summer. All of Dudley’s junk is gone, as is most of the furniture. All I have left is my bed, desk and chair. They have even replaced the bars.
I am glad now of the paranoia that drove me into not packing this, my wand and invisibility cloak. If I ever do get out of here I know I will have them to help me escape, and this if I don’t. I am also glad that I didn’t have time to return Ron’s quill and ink, otherwise I would have nothing to record the events of this summer with, just in case.
Barely a week has passed and already I have received the worst beating of my life. I don’t even think the Cruciatus curse compares, and all I did was trip on the stairs. Hey that rhymes! I hate to think what Uncle Vernon would do to me if I accidentally dropped a plate or something.
I must go now as Aunt Petunia is calling me to cook dinner. I hope that this time they give me something to eat too.
Severus looked up from the journal, his eyes falling on the still unconscious form in the bed. "Why didn’t you tell anyone?" he asked silently. He didn’t watch the boy for long, as the next entries drew his attention like a magnet.
Wednesday 17th July
Sorry it has been awhile, I found out what Uncle Vernon would do if I dropped a plate. I think I have a few broken ribs and my kidneys hurt, I hope they aren’t seriously damaged.
Uncle Vernon made me write to Ron yesterday after Pig arrived a breakfast, I tried to steal some more ink but I got caught. I also managed to get some bacon rinds to Hedwig, I hope she is all right. Sorry this is so short but I’ve been scrubbing the kitchen floor and my arm aches.
Friday 26th July
I don’t think I have ever felt as ill as this. It’s probably something to do with the half rotting food Aunt Petunia is giving me. Also Uncle Vernon is letting Dudley ‘play’ with me now he’s home. Dudley got a very sharp penknife for Christmas last year. If I wasn’t already having nightmares I definitely would now.
I might not be able to write again, as there isn’t enough ink.
Severus’ jaw clenched as he read the last entry, the though of Harry being ‘played’ with made his stomach turn. But despite what Harry had written there were more entries.
Thursday 1st August
If I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I was wrong. Yesterday was my birthday, O joy! The day I turn sixteen my cousin rapes me, bloody perfect!
My apologies for the unusual ink but I have nothing else.
At least Uncle Vernon let me open my presents before he destroyed them. He even made me write thank-you letters to everyone too.
Severus stared at the page, he remembered what he’d smelt back with the Muggles, but Poppy hadn’t mentioned anything about it. He re-read the entry wondering what the boy had written it in, bringing it to his nose he sniffed and smelt...blood! The boy had been forced to write in his own blood! He felt he could kill the Dursleys, to hell with the consequences.
The last entry was dated just the day before.
Sunday 4th August
I don’t believe it. Uncle Vernon made me burn everything. Even the scrapbook Hagrid gave to me in the first year. It was horrible. I could hear them screaming. I came back to my room, pulled out my father’s cloak and cried. I refused to in front of them; I wouldn’t give them the pleasure.
Also I dropped my trunk on my foot as I got it out, I think it’s broken. When I did this, Hedwig’s cage fell and opened, she flew away before Uncle Vernon could catch her. I hope she can get help, I think I’m dying.
"If only we’d known!" Severus exclaimed, startling Poppy who had come to check on her patient.
"Known what?" the Medi-wizard asked. Silently Severus handed the journal to her, in doing so he dislodged a piece of paper, which fluttered to the floor. It was Harry’s Will.
Last Will and testament of
Harry James Potter
As Uncle Vernon has made me burn everything I was going to give, I have to re-write this. Please don’t be offended if I leave you out.
To Ron and all the Weasley’s I leave you with the key to my vault, I believe Professor Dumbledore has it.
To Sirius I leave my father’s invisibility cloak, it might not be any help against the dementors but I know he would have wanted you to have it.
To Professor Dumbledore I leave my wand. Olivander once told me I was meant for great things, I hope you can find someone willing to fill my shoes.
And finally to Professor Snape I leave you my journal; you are the only one who would appreciate it. You are one of the few people who can see beyond my scar, even if you don’t like what you see. Also, I wish you luck in your dealings with Voldemort and that he never discovers you are a spy.
To everyone else I haven’t mentioned I hope you live long and find happiness.
Signed
H.J.Potter
This too had been written in blood, but on a scrap of paper torn from what looked like a muggle notebook.
Severus closed his eyes and massaged them, wiping away the tears before they had a chance to fall and betray him. Poppy sat down abruptly on the spare bed beside him; there was already a steady stream of tears running down her face, and she had only read the first entry. When she got to the one the day after his birthday, she had to stop and blow her nose. Severus got up and began to pace the room, just as he came back to the bed Albus appeared.