A photo stolen from jac's blog. See jac, i've updated!
hum along:Desert by Emilie Simon
02/8/05, Tuesday, 1:17pm
Last night, i went for min li's grandfather's wake. I think i half expected to see weeping, and somber faces, like i did at my uncle's wake two years ago. Instead, despite their loss, i sensed a peace in the family with the assurance that they would see their loved one again in heaven.
I must admit that since my uncle's funeral, i had been avoiding all wakes and funerals because i had memories of the hopelessness and the grief then. I remember it being very emotional, because my uncle wasn't a christian, and we weren't sure if he'd accepted Christ in his last days when my mum desperately tried to reach out to him.
I wasn't very close to him, but seeing his body in the coffin, an empty shell, not knowing where his soul was.. that moment came as such a great shock to me that i broke down and cried. I didn't even know that i would cry, or why i did, at the time. I also remember singing amazing grace at the service, although the majority of my extended family weren't christian. A close friend of my uncle's called us all to sing with him when he gave my uncle's eulogy. The words of the song had never meant so much till then.
I'm glad i went for the wake last night. Listening to the message and singing songs of comfort, assurance, and our place in heaven, together with fellow members of the body of christ, i was reminded of how real heaven is, and how much there is to look forward to.
When we've been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Then when we'd first begun.
hum along:Eight Flew Over, One Was Destroyed by Mew
22/7/05, Friday, 1:12am
Thinking about it, i realise that i do dread going back to school. At least, a part of me does. It's the part that knows when school reopens, the people who keep me close to God, the people whom i've been hanging out with lately, will all disperse. When they do, i will become two people. The first is one that wants to please everyone and gratify self, and the other is one that wants to live by something much much greater, and not be constantly seeking ways to satisfy an infinite void.
I say this remembering how i become when i take myself away from the presence of God, and away from the presence of people who love God. Holidays are such a luxury because i can partially remove myself from the world. Or rather, not immerse myself in it as i tend to do.
I feel so content and happy now. I don't want to go back to fighting against God's will. Which i know sounds stupid, but it's going to happen. Again and again. This is why i dread the end of the holidays. Despite my complaints of time wasted and wanting to go back to learning (which i really do!), i will miss this... environment that i've found myself in. I'm bracing myself.
hum along:Strange and Beautiful (I'll Put a Spell On You) by Aqualung
20/7/05, Wednesday, 1:52am
Let's see if a new layout means more regular entries. Honestly, i don't feel the need to blog though. It's really just for fun.
I can't wait till school starts. I really can't. Bumming around just gets boring after a while. I'm wasting my life away. Of course, if nat and deb had stayed longer, I seriously wouldn't mind bumming longer. The past couple of weeks have just been so crazy, things seem emptier now they're gone. I'm gonna start giggling to myself if i try to recall what we've done with our time together.
Hmm... Never realised how great it is to just hang out with a friend and a cup of coffee (or mango mousse!). Very thankful for the friendships i've made where i can talk about the same things over and over again and never get bored. Funny how friends find each other.