the verfremdungseffekt.

22.06.2005, Wednesday, 2:52pm

An update! Rachel is making an update!

Although, this doesn't really count as one because i'm not writing about anything in particular. Just felt that this poor blog has been so forsaken since the holidays began. I honestly came with nothing good to say though, so bear with me.

The hols have been a blur. Bangkok. VBS. Tooth Implants. Church Camp. Every event has been an enriching experience in its own way. Probably learnt the most from camp. I've been really blessed by it, i think.

I feel both a reluctance and a need to get a job. Do i really need one? I don't know. I can get by i suppose. But i love the financial independance. Plus i want to take some burden off my parents. Anyone with job offers?

tune in my head: Silicone by Mono

13.05.2005, Friday, 3:14pm

I think... i don't know who i am.

tune in my head: Good Song by Blur

12.05.2005, Thursday, 2:09am

A quick look at some of the people i have met/spent time with this semester:


the Crucible cast (and director Liz :P)

It's too bad i didn't take more photos. Haha. Left out a bunch of other people who have made uni life an enjoyable experience. It's been great, guys. Anyway, I am soon to be a second year uni student. I can't wait!

This past semester went by so fast! Somehow, it was midterm break before i knew it, theatre studies rehearsals were fun but made time mysteriously disappear, and my exams were a (fever-induced) blur. I'm glad to see so many more faces i can name around campus though. My number of close friends still remains small, but it feels good to know i have made more acquaintances. I think it's going to stay like this for the next two/three years. The small group of close friends and an increasing number of acquaintances i mean. But i'm content with that.

That's the closest i'm gonna get to reflecting on my first academic year. I'm just looking forward to relaxing this hols. Bangkok here i come!

tune in my head: You And Me Song by The Wannadies

29.04.2005, Friday, 6:04pm

So it turns out that i really was/am sick. The headache was the symptom of a fever, which kinda snuck up on me and then just blew up. I sat for two papers with a 38 degree fever. I can only thank God my temperature wasn't any higher during those papers, especially considering it reached 39.6 degrees at its highest point. I think i got through those papers ok, although it's kinda hard to tell.

The past couple of days have been excruciatingly uncomfortable. Aside from having to go to school, i was so nauseous i could hardly eat anything, the hot weather combined with my temperature was killing me, i found it really difficult to sleep, and my bones ached. Well, it wasn't so bad all the time. My temperature kept fluctuating. On average it was a 38, three times it went over 39 degrees, and occassionally it would slip down to the 37s. I guess the fact that the high fever would hit me again just when i thought it was all ending was what made it so exhausting.

Anyway, my temperature has been pretty much normal for the past 18 hours. Somewhere in the middle it went back up to 38, but it went down again after some sponging. Hopefully this is the end of it. Sorry for all the post-fever whining. I feel better :)

tune in my head: Deadweight by Beck

26.04.2005, Tuesday, 9:30pm

I'd be really really thankful if i could just maintain my cap grade this semester.

I'm feeling like the pin cushion queen (depicted some entries before) now. Got a really bad headache, and i never do get headaches. Got this weird sore feeling all over. I hope i'm not sick!

Two papers over the next two days. Help!

tune in my head: A Life Less Ordinary by Ash

14.04.2005, Thursday, 03:04pm

The fear of failing my modules this semester is fast becoming real. Doesn't matter if i know what an object clause is, or that the final consonant of a verb is extrametrical. Hell no. I have to be able to construct PRINCIPLES that account for why John cannot put the cookies from the market. And that's the easy question (the lexical representation of put requires a destination). Is this really the major i have chosen? Someone please tell me it gets better. Not only that, but my performance for my GEM is so inconsistent, i don't know if i'm doing enough for theatre studies, my thai oral has already been screwed up... I have exactly a week left.

tune in my head: Velvet Divorce by Sneaker Pimps

29.03.2005, Tuesday, 06:41pm

I am floating on the melodies of Mew.

Hui: Thanks again so so much for finding the cd! For $7.95 no less!

Considered taking a jog today. Made it as far as grabbing my socks before i backed out. Damn. I really should figure out this willpower thing. My body be needin' some excercise right about now.

tune in my head: She Came Home For Christmas by Mew

27.03.2005, Sunday, 11:53pm

A most eventful day today. Was sitting in starbucks with jeremy, clement and philip after Easter Sunrise Service, when I hear someone call my name... and i look up to see hui! Haha. After a whole week of no hui, we just had to bump into each other in town! Turns out she was waiting to meet a friend (who didn't show up in the end), so naturally i invited her to join us.

A ten minute chat became a full day of shopping with hui and the boys (boaz joined us later). Hee. So interesting to watch my school and church life merge. It also just happened to be my first time in town with hui. Just think, after all the hours spent in sch together, we've never met up in town! Well, dangerous liasons doesn't count. Come to think of it, we have met up a number of times, just never in town. Anyway, i had alot of fun. Was really tickled by hui's amazement at the guys' capacity to shop. I've always found that amusing, but didn't realise i was actually getting used to it.

We split from the guys later in the afternoon.. and were joined by munchie! Haha. Seems today was hui's meet my friends/family day. We got hungry and realised we'd forgotten to eat lunch. Got too excited at bumping into each other i think. Heh. Especially after the week apart. The three of us went on to sushi tei, where hui and i had a really satisfying meal (munch already ate). All in all, the day was good. Haven't had a day as arbitrary as this in a long time. I suppose the fact that we never planned to meet made it all the more pleasant.

Anyway, that's all i've got for now. If i had the energy, i'd blog about my last weekend with fang, ven, crys and ash. Was good to meet up with them too. But, oh well. Gnight for now.

tune in my head: Blue Rondo A La Turk by The Dave Brubeck Quartet

25.03.2005, Friday, 11:34pm

I want to live in Tim Burton's imagination!

tune in my head: Going Under by Rockers Hi-Fi

25.03.2005, Friday, 11:34pm

Don't write anything too personal, I says. Why not? Me asks.
'Cause although hard to believe, people actually read this blog,
reasons I. Ok, Me agrees.

I wish i were more open. Do i really? I don't know. Sigh.

tune in my head: Here But I'm Gone (Part II) by Curtis Mayfield

21.03.2005, Monday, 04:31pm

The 21st already? That gives me... a month till my exams. Which feels far away, except that i know once we get started on the theater prac exam, i'll be pretty busy. Which means i should be studying now, not listening to Tricky and deciding what colours will make my ppt slides look pretty (small presentation on thurs).

I wonder... how would we all live our lives if we knew exactly when we would die? Would we savour every moment? See every action as pointless? Say "I love you"s every day? We couldn't possibly live each day as if it were our last, could we? Not for me at least. Too tiring. I don't cling on to life, but there's still so much of it i want to experience. Part of me wants to speed it up and part of me wants to stay where i am forever. I guess it's a good thing we don't know, then.

tune in my head: Hell Is Around The Corner by Tricky

12.03.2005, Saturday, 09:39am

I honestly believe that my mental capacity peaked at the age of twelve. Now i'm just struggling to retain whatever scraps of my brain i have left. I can't even remember when was the last time i had a real thought. Uni is not helping at all. I can feel my brain cells die, never to be revived again. Sigh.

I cannot explain my sudden short bursts of blog entries. This is the third time this week already. And somehow, i've managed to blog without really saying anything at all. These thoughts are exactly the thoughts that go through my head nowadays, which goes to show just how much of my brain has died. No big revelations of God and mankind, no observations of society, not even a credible answer to the pattern of stress in words of the english language. I had to rely on Mohanan to give us the answer, instead of figuring it out beforehand. Reminds me of the words on a keychain i once saw: Of all the things i miss, i miss my mind the most.

Oh well, i think i'm giving myself too much credit by thinking that i actually had the capacity to think, or that i somehow should have the capacity to think. Treat the past few entries as the blabberings of a... i don't even know what to call my state of mind now. Nevermind.

tune in my head: Across the Universe by The Beatles

10.03.2005, Thursday, 11:38pm

I had a slight reprieve today in the form of i-did-not-have-to-see-Mohanan's-face-at-bloody-eight-in-the-morning. 8 a.m. lectures should be outlawed. Woke up late and slept for a half hour besides that, followed by a leisurely breakfast. Not a bad start to the day. Had a good end too. Discussion with my GEM 1900 group, with many digressions. I love it when we're all together. Hanging out in a group like that is the closest thing you can get to a jc class in arts, i think.

I'm feeling the same sense of loss Liz mentioned in her entry at the switch of our theatre studies prac tutor. There goes my high point of the week. Why why why did he have to leave us? Well, i can survive him leaving us.. but why must he be replaced with such a half-wit? Oh well, i shall just focus on the script he gave for next week instead. Leslie, the lesbian lawyer from london. Haha.

tune in my head: Love For Sale by Vivian Green

09.03.2005, Wednesday, 00:16am

I can feel myself falling behind my schoolwork already. Sigh. Despite having handed in my TS term paper and having scribed the (only) two owrions i have to do, i still feel like there's a lot i haven't done. Shouldn't be complaining really. Looks like other modules have it worse. I'm just falling behind cos i keep procrastinating. Like keeping up with my EL2101 notes and practising my thai. What have i been spending my time on??

tune in my head: You Got The Style by Athlete

01.03.2005, Tuesday, 10:34pm

Hello Rachel

Hello Rachel, how are you today?
Have you had your daily dose?
Your daily munch of hay?

I really donít quite understand
The types of snacks you eat.
Like pickled beer and artichokes
You grow between your feet.

Who is the cook who brought you
Dishes so obscure?
Should he really keep up as a cook
I do not feel assured

He really should consider that
You need some normal food
Not only will its taste improve
The normalcy will do you good!

So throw away the bouncing beans
And that twenty-month old milk
And for goodness sake please do not bake
With barrels and barrels of silk!

What you really need is a nice warm cup
Of fresh and fragrant tea
Top that off with a slice of pie
Sweet or savoury!

There are so many flavours to explore
It really is great fun
Cooking should always be good
For you and me and everyone.

by Hui

Hui really should write children's books. I would love for my children to grow up reading Hui, the same way i grew up reading Roald Dahl. Hahaha.

tune in my head: Fun For Me by Portishead & Moloko

27.02.2005, Sunday, 10:59pm

Everyone, meet my friend Taufik, who kindly took the time off his busy schedule to come and pose for a photograph next to his lovely poster. *koff*

Haha. Meeting up with nik, fang, soh and venetia was really fun. I forgot how much we used to laugh in cj. There was never a day when my jaw didn't hurt from smiling non-stop. I exaggerate, i think, but that's not far off from the truth. Standing in the cd aisle of carrefoure, laughing at nik trying to decide which taufik pose to adopt whilst some lady shoots us dirty looks, is something i'm not going to forget anytime soon.

I still miss the cj days! I realised though, that i'm not looking back so much anymore. I love my friends now, both in church and in school. And i'm still meeting new people everyday. I think i love what i'm studying, if only i could stop getting the subject confused with the lecturer. And although i'm not in cj anymore, we all still keep in touch. Things are good.

Some photo fun:

Our many (failed) attempts to perfect the "venetia face". There can only be one venetia!

More funny faces! (Taken on the bus after watching Leaving La Vida Loca).

And more funny faces! (Cableskiing in Batam... everyone should try it :) )

Boredom at the bustop with hui (Our shocked faces after taking our basic theory.)

There they are... many faces, in no chronological order, listing out the many events that i have failed to mention in my blog. All somewhere in the month of february. And that's the end of this entry!

tune in my head: Black Milk by Massive Attack

07.02.2005, Monday, 1:18am

I wonder why i always feel the need for people to read my blog. Is it true for the rest of you bloggers too? Maybe "need" is too strong a word. But i can't explain that tiny burst of happiness i feel everytime i find a new message on my tagboard or hear the mention of my blog. Is blogging a narcissistic experience? To some extent? Kinda like Friendster i think. Something to feed our egos a little. To assure us that people actually want to know about our little lives. Well, for me at least. But i don't mean it negatively. It's a feel-good thing really. That's why so many people blog, i think. It's like having a reality show about yourself. But only the bits of your life, or your thoughts, that you choose to reveal. And it feels good when people read your blog, because then you don't seem so boring after all.

Alright, i suppose this isn't true for all people. And it's definitely not the only reason why i blog. It assures me that i'm not the only one seeing purple people, for one. (Watch Girl, Interrupted). Reading other people's thoughts and finding similarities with my own makes me feel more connected to the world and less... alien. Good to know that like-minded people exist. Same reason why we read books, i suppose. We're sharing in the thoughts and ideas that authors express. And later, we talk with others about the books that we have read and the thoughts and ideas that struck us. And that's another way we connect with each other. Same goes for all other forms of entertainment. Haha. Does that mean that blogging is a form of entertainment though? I suppose it is. Anyway, somewhere along this ramble, i think i meant to say that we blog to reach out to others. Like when we blog when we are depressed, it's more than catharsis. We're hoping that people react too. Otherwise, we would just write in a diary. We want a response to our hurt.

Oh dear. This started out as a little musing in my head. I've bored you enough. Goodnight!

tune in my head: Willow's Song by Doves

28.01.2005, Friday, 5:23pm

It's the weekend already and i'm blogging abt the previous weekend. Sigh. Just goes to show how sucky my new timetable is. Been too pooped out to blog. Went for nat's gig on the 22nd of Jan. My *ahem* sessionist friend who plays for Serenaide! (The music was fantastic! you just can't help but smile when they play.) Was so happy to see jerms there. And so cool to bump into sharon too!

Good Music + Good Company = Good Fun

A proven equation. Haha. Felt a wave of nostalgia for a moment there... T3 was way too fun. I miss those days. Anyways, here are the photos:

nat in the really cute tutu

our star performer!

me and jerms (the colour's really off cos the photo
turned out really red and i tried editing it, but it doesn't
quite look right)

jerms, sharon and me!

tune in my head: How to be Dead by Snow Patrol

21.01.2005, Friday, 9:38pm

anyone out there?

tune in my head: In This World by Moby

17.01.2005, Monday, 8:32pm

Little darlin' don't you see the sun is shining
just for you, only today
If you hurry you can get a ray on you, come with me, just to play
Like every humming bird and bumblebee
Every sunflower, cloud and every tree
I feel so much a part of this
Nature's got me high and it's beautiful
I'm with this deep eternal universe
From death until rebirth

This corner of the earth is like me in many ways
I can sit for hours here and watch the emerald feathers play
On the face of this I'm blessed
When the sunlight comes for free
I know this corner of the earth it smiles at me
So inspired of that there's nothing left to do or say
Think I'll dream, 'til the stars shine

The wind it whispers and the clouds don't seem to care
And I know inside, that it's all mine
It's the chorus of the breakin' dawn
The mist that comes before the sun is born
To a hazy afternoon in May
Nature's got me high and it's so beautiful
I'm with this deep eternal universe from death until rebirth

You know that this corner of the earth is like me in many ways
I can sit for hours here and watch the emerald feathers play
On the face of it I'm blessed
When the sunlight comes for free
I know this corner of the earth it smiles at me
This corner of the earth, is like me in many ways
I can sit for hours here and watch the emerald feathers play
When the sunlight comes for free
I know the corner of this earth it smiles at me

--Corner of the Earth by Jamiroquai

I've been in a ridiculously good mood these last few days. Can't seem to figure out why except that the sun came out 3 days in a row. Hence the repeated playing of this song in my head lately. The weather has always had a direct effect on my mood.

I've come to look forward to the long bus rides home from school. The luxury of watching the world go about its business and letting my mind wander. Never mind that i dragged my ass out of bed at 6 am and travelled all the way to school for 2 hrs of slow torture. (EL2102 makeup lecture that went by excruciatingly slowly. Hopefully my lecturer won't be my tutor as well.) Sitting next to hui made it more than bearable though. Turning venn diagrams into badly bruised babies and shawls into tentacles. Haha. She's mad. My kinda friend.

tune in my head: Sun is Shining by Bob Marley

14.01.2005, Friday, 1:44am

I knew it was a bad idea to take a nap at 5pm. I woke up at ten and now i can't sleep! Not to mention i've got to get ready for school in about four hours.

School has been good so far, other than the early morning lectures three days a week. Such a relief to see more familiar faces after last term. Pretty surprised by the number of people i recognise in Theatre Studies. Then again, i've yet to sit for my english lectures, which i doubt many people i know will be taking.

Here are my modules for this semester:

 TS1101E  Introduction to Theatre and Drama
 EL2101    Structure of Sentences and Meanings
 EL2102    Structure of Sounds and Words  
 LAT1201  Thai 1
 GEM1900 Thinking, Reasoning and Inquiry

Really glad to have another module with Liz, Shirps and Dewi!

Oh yes, in response to Liz's question on the tagboard. The animation ties in to the verfremdungseffekt. It's really a theatrical term. Something i picked up when i crashed a theatre studies lecture last year. The alienation effect. To defamiliarise yourself from your usual expectations. I just wanted to create something that was unconventional. I'm still leaving it open to interpretation though. Don't want to limit it to just one meaning. Doesn't even have to have a meaning if you want. Just enjoy it :)

tune in my head: Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve

06.01.2005, Thursday, 8:55pm

I've finally finished with my new layout! Haha. Decided to go back to html. Kinda missed it. Although i do have two flash animations on this page. There's no way i could ever completely abandon flash. Wondering if i should take a computing module next semester called "Introduction to Programming". I'll get to learn java and play with websites. Haha. If i do, it means i can't take the science GEM with elizabeth and shi ping though. Hmm.. i'll have to decide by tonight!

School's starting soon. Was going to say i'm looking forward to it, but i realised i'm not really. Not quite dreading it either. We'll see how it goes.

My face is still swollen. urgh.

Movie marathon tmr!

Oh dear my mind is really drifting.

I always hate writing the first entry of a new blog cos i feel pressurised to fill up the space, and i never do have anything to write. It's always writing for the sake of putting up the new layout.
Anyway, that's enough for now. See ya.

tune in my head: Jack's Smirking Revenge by The Dust Brothers


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