YnM Fanfiction

Sakura

Written by Calis

Disclaimer: YnM belongs to Yoko Matsushita-sensei

Chapter Seven: Confession and Absolution

Oriya did not want to open his eyes; he was feeling too wretched and miserable to want to wake up and face the world. The events of last night was like a nightmare but unlike a frightening dream that would face once he comes around from sleep, what that had happened was a stark reality that he could not run away from. He had not slept throughout the night, Tossing and turning in his futon; he had eventually curled up with his knees against his chest into a ball of despair as he tried in vain to keep the emotions at bay. In an unguarded moment, he had uttered a truth that he had not realized himself.

He liked Muraki.

Oriya finally understood what it was that he feared and the reason behind the obsession he had not dared to acknowledge. He had feelings for the elusive senior student that had entered his life so inexplicably. The suffering sixteen-year-old groaned as he came to the most logical conclusion of what would happen next. Muraki would be so revolted by what he said last night that he would never appear in Oriya’s sights again. He might never see Muraki again but just as well that no one would ever learn of his shameful secret.

Beside him on a small stand, the alarm clock screamed shrilly announcing the beginning of a new day. Oriya wanted to buried himself beneath his blankets and hide until the end of the world but that would be like proclaiming his guilt. Reaching out with one hand to silence the clock, he mulled over what he should do. Oriya could skip school and sleep the day away but trying to do that while he was in his present state would probably not give him any rest but a massive headache. Giving his life up as a lost cause, Oriya tossed back the covers and crawled out of his bed. Raking a hand through his tousled and tangled hair, Oriya made his way to bathroom for his morning ritual.

He was looking like a zombie with bloodshot eyes and vivid shadows under them as he dragged his feet into the school compound. He made his way listlessly towards the gym for the first class of the day, which happened to be physical education. The changing room was crowded with both senior and junior high school students rushing to change into their sports attire. Oriya dumped his things in the first empty locker he found so wrapped up in his own unhappiness that he did not feel the lightest of regards that rested upon him from across the room.

Dressed in the summer sports attire of shorts and white T-shirt, Oriya joined his class but as usual no one bothered to acknowledge his presence. And for today, he was glad that they did because he wanted to be alone. His hair hung free unrestrained, the long thick tresses so lustrous that they gleamed with blue highlights under the harsh lights of the indoor gym. Oriya did not bother to plait it into the usual braid to keep his hair out of his eyes when he did sports. He was already starting to regret his decision to come to school and waiting for his PE teacher to come so that he could ask for permission to go to the sick bay. However, fate had something different in mind.

There was a brief racket when the PE teacher for the third year students came over and announced that their teacher had called in sick so the first years would be taking a combined class with them. Loud complaints and grumbles were made in disappoint since most the boys had been anticipating a basketball session today while the girls are glad that they had been spared. In order to pacify the first years and to get class going, the harried third year PE teacher came up with a brilliant suggestion: a basketball match. The boys would form teams comprising of three first year students and two third year students while the girls are free to do anything they liked as long as they stayed in the gym.

As his classmates milled about with the senior boys trying to form their teams, Oriya stalked off along towards the upstairs spectator’s stands. Basketball was one of the sports that Oriya liked and was good at but he was in no mood to play. It was also doubtful if anyone wanted to him to join their team anyway. Finding an isolated corner where he could quietly observe the ongoing matches without being seen, the depressed sixteen-year-old sat down, hugging his long legs to his chest.

At the sharp blast of a whistle, four teams gathered at the two basketball courts beneath Oriya. Since they have never played together before, positions were assigned by the logical basis of height since there were not many who were very proficient with the sport and the few who could play well had to be assigned across the teams to ensure a fair competition. Being taller then their first year counterparts, most third years were naturally assigned to playing the power forward, center and shooting guard positions while the first years took up the remaining small forward and point guard positions. After naming the teams from A to D, the right court began the first match between teams A and B with the teacher acting as an umpire.

The two teams were differentiated simply by having one team have their t-shirts tucked into their shorts while the opposing team had theirs tucked out. Taking their positions on the court, action erupted as the orange ball was tossed into the air. From the way, the two seniors jumped for the ball, Oriya could tell that they were no novices. The team A managed to tap the ball towards the waiting point guard and taking possession he streaked towards the opponent’s side of the court flanked by his team’s two forward. However, he was swiftly intercepted as the team B forward blocked his way. The team A player attempted to pass but the intended receiver was too slow providing an opening for the other team’s center to steal the ball. Making a drive to the basket before team A could recover and see to their defense, the center got into shooting range and performed a layin, scoring the first points for team B.

More wary now that they had a taste of team B’s skills, team A began a more defensive game, carefully keeping track of each of the defensive players as they take on the offensive. Team B went for a man-to-man defense, each of them taking on the role of guarding against one opponent. Fast and nimble, the As' point guard shook off his shadow with a feint, dodging pass the defense as he moved the ball downcourt. Thinking to defend their basket, the B team players abandoned guarding the individual offensive players as they rally back. However, instead of shooting for a field goal before the defense clamp down on him, the point guard hurled the ball right into the hands of his teammate who was waiting behind the three-point line. The forward player aimed and shot, sending the ball flying overhead in a graceful arc before it fell cleanly through the hoop.

" Exciting game, isn't it? "

Oriya recognized the voice instantly. He froze unsure of what to do as his muddled mind refused to work. Engrossed in watching the match, he had not realized that he had company. It took a few seconds to kick his mind back into working mode but by the time he reached the logical conclusion to excuse himself; Muraki was already seated beside him. Feeling extremely awkward, Oriya huddled by hugging his knees even tighter; trying to make himself so small that Muraki would forget he even existed. However, it was not so easy for Oriya to ignore the presence of the good-looking youth seated only inches away from him. He wanted to see the liquid silver eyes but could not work up the courage.

" Oriya... I want to apologize... " The words were said haltingly as if foreign to the speaker.

Muraki sighed quietly.

" You surprised me last night. "

Oriya's heart plummeted like a stone. What he had been dreading had come to pass. The senior must be looking at him with loathing and disgust now. Even though he had not said anything explicit, the meaning had been very clear. He had confessed to liking someone of the same sex. Oriya buried his face behind his knees, desperately wishing foe a hole to appear and swallow him whole.

" I thought you were like the rest... but apparently I was wrong. You are honest, Oriya. I've heard enough lies to know truth when I hear it and you told me no lie. "

A hand rested lightly on top of his head, a touch that was some how very familiar. The fingers from that hand had run through his hair and Oriya remembered the faint scent of amber, rose, jasmine and orange blossoms that seemed to linger lightly in the air. The gesture and words confused him. Oriya's mind was in turmoil and he did not understand what Muraki was saying.

“ I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please forget all that I have said! I didn’t mean to say things that would distress you! Please pretend that nothing happened! ” Unable to bear it anymore, Oriya cried out as he begged for forgiveness.

You can hit me, jeer at me, do anything to me…

Just don’t despise me…

“ Forget? I’m afraid it is not that easy, Oriya and I won’t pretend. ” Strong fingers held his face in an unbreakable grip, forcing Oriya to lift his head to meet the intent silver gaze that seemed to bore right into his soul.

" You like me? "

The three simple words were uttered softly, three feather light breaths that fell on his face but they carried implications that shook Oriya to the core. There was none of the repulsion that he expected instead the question was asked with a hint of disbelief and uncertainty. His lips did not form the answer but his tortured hazel eyes told Muraki what he wanted to know.

Before he knew what happened, Oriya was pressed against a hard chest as cradling arms encircled him in a hug. Embedded in the smug embrace, Oriya was disoriented. His mind and his heart were in a state of chaos as he tried desperately to reconcile the recent events. Long fingered hands wove through the brunette strands, smoothing away the mayhem that raged within until there was a peaceful serenity. Far from being disconcerted by an older boy holding him, Oriya felt the yawning emptiness that had always been present within him diminish for the first time. It was as if he had found… a friend.

“ You don’t despise me then? ” Suddenly shy, Oriya mumbled.

“ No, I don’t despise you and I am flattered to know that you think I am special. Thank you, Oriya. ”

“ Can I see you again? ”

“ Why not? ”