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Do not ask about its form, its style, its expression.
As any monologue, the text flows easily from the mind to the paper.
It is simple like that…
For ladies, you are such a mystery of creation…
For all children from GREAT LAKES:
I was expecting
I was expecting love
I needed friendship
And dreamed of great health…
I was getting ready
I wanted to be someone
I wanted a big family
And wanted more laughs, jokes, fun
I was getting ready and waiting
I was waiting in vain….
A STABBED HISTORY
History was stabbed
The truth knifed
And, tomorrow,
Lies will be taught to kids…
They had killed human without pity
They were killing truth shamelessly
And History was whining under torture!
They had destroyed the “Thousands Hills”
They fucked Africa
And lied from the Occident…
The whining history,
The torture of victims,
The noise of machetes,
The exploding skulls,
All this, could not beat their lies!
I was praying
I had learned nothing from life!
I wanted to live:
There were dreams
There were scarce
There were hopes…
I prayed for my life:
Had I ever won?
Had I ever smiled?
Had I ever arrived?
I knew nothing but was praying…
LONELINESS IN THE CROWD
I stared at the moving crowd
Sure it is London
But I was confused…
I stared zoomingly and,
Where do come all these flat nose
With expressionless faces?
Beside, what a contrasting hell of gorgeous females?
Obviously only asses despite all…
And all kind of whites people,
And color full black people,
And all this unbelievable colored pattern…
But,
Beyond the crowd,
Loneliness had poisoned every thing!
Thirty years and more
A small country has suffered
From every where,
Neighbors were careless
The crowd was stupid
Intellectuals were ignorant
And machetes had an indescribable job….
Dozens of years already
Still children and women are being killed
And for tomorrow, Africa is crying…
Stop abandoning Africa to killers
Stop the killings of innocents…
Am I related to that shit of killers?
FOR WHEN?
My ears were buzzing
My head was hurting
All my being was in fire…
The past was horrible
History was tale less
And really nothing to say…
Uncles?
Relatives?
Places?
No, my ears were buzzing
Somewhere in the Great Lakes,
Skulls were waiting on the road’s side…
Will I ever have the time?
Things that happened in the great lakes have no explanation. Survivors and relatives just pretend to ignore the past. No it is impossible to forget. The past sticks on your skin and haunts you. No matter who you are, sometimes somewhere, questions and anger brings back the sufferings. So many things that most people would like to do their loved ones but how can it be possible. Still killers are striking and land grabbers are ready for any crime!
London, the cold, loneliness…
London, freedom, world of upside down…
I looked around
I was a free man
I could scream, love or hate…
And I was thinking
London, a lost city!
Where were men? Women?
Disgusting reality of perverts…,
When you live in an environment like Soho and work for a catering business such as a restaurant or bar, it is choking sometimes to notice that half of customers and staff are gays and lesbians. From all over the world people with strange sexual behavior can be found around Soho. So many Brazilian, Spanish, Italian, British…. Yes freedom but where is the cultural value? Where the religious value? Where is the natural value in this? Even animals understand better that nature has its harmony…
K.O
I did not give up
I stood firm for the fight
But every time I lost
Many times I was down but stood up!
I was dodging and kept fighting
But I was losing!
I tried hard to hit back
From the depth of my stomach I was hitting
But,
I am almost knocked down!
When looking back in the past, many questions and suffering invade my mind. Just trying to survive. Nothing really was easy. Every time everywhere, always some barrier stood on our poor way. We got diplomas, we had friends and families. But somehow, the fleeing and all kind of spot broke apart all we tried to build. And we lost and lost. We know and feel that the mourning will be long… it is beyond our understanding.
There have been lost years
There have been regrets
There have been tears…
And we wasted time blaming ourselves!
There has been hunger,
There has been frustration,
And, always loneliness!
Where was love?
Where was friendship?
Where was success?
Nothing!
Only emptiness…
Only dreams…
Only winds…
And the mind lost in sexual fantasies…
For some people, “loneliness”, “emptiness”, “failure” are vain concepts but in a world of refugees, it is a real thing. No matter what you try, you just feel that everything is lost and that time has gone..,.
ON GREAT LAKES
They were talking about “Great Lakes”
Fascist bastards, stupid tribalism…
What are they saying about “democracy”?
About “majority” in Rwanda and Burundi?
Africa will be knocked down…
The blood of kids and elders is still on the street…
Did you see those Tutsi kids?
One, the nose and the face halved by a scar…
The other, arms and legs, just stumps…
It is freezing in their soul…
When people talk about “democracy” for Rwanda and Burundi, they bring in the notion of “majority”. Today Tutsi represent a tiny portion of the population and statistics do not change.
But this situation is just a result of a systematic extermination ideology that never stops since the fifties. There no need for elections in Rwanda and Burundi. It is tricky and a stupid thing as Buyoya found out. If Kagame won his 2003 elections, people still feel guilty and unsafe. But what Tutsi have to do with it? Tomorrow, Hutu will strike and the killings continue. Tutsi do not need elections, they need justice, they need a land reform, they need a space for their own…
I forgot women stuff
Was there some kisses? Some words?
Inside me only thrill!
And I was shaking for real…
I was wondering, had uncertainties
Naked women?
Intertwined bodies?
Kissing and moving?
No, I have forgotten those things
And I don’t know
And I have doubt
And I shiver
And, and, and…
A naked woman?
Eroticism again and forever. The mind can stop for other stuff but sexual pulses never stop. They haunt you. A woman body, what a mystery? You just realize it once, if for months, circumstances restrained you for the ultimate pleasure of being near of these wonderful creatures…
LOVE?
Loving someone?
I forgot those things…
Sometimes, only doubt
Sometimes, only worries…
Religion?
Love?
Ideologies?
Inside me, only worries
And, like a stupid thing,
I am here
And the time goes by…
It is raining and my window is shaking
It is windy and the time is bad…
Watching television,
All channels are boring…
Can’t you see?
Nothing new, nothing good…
I feel empty and thirsty
Can’t you see?
If you were there with the kid,
Couldn’t things be different?
Can’t you see?
So much time wasted for nothing!
Yes, every day they talk about bogus asylum and illegal immigrant, whose fault? Tell them to stop this hypocrisy and let people forge document…
Applications for visa are likely to be turned down for suspicious reasons no matter if on full employment and not on benefit! A refugee is always suspected.
WILL WE EVER LEARN?
The nigger, the asylum seeker will say:
“The Occident and the social benefits my right,
Africa has been exploited for long!”
The Yellow will scream:
“The system owes me!”
Proletarians and penniless,
Everyone claims his right and dreams!
But listen,
The colonialist did not go abroad penniless!
He had means, he had ideas, he had goals…
But us will we ever learn anything?
It is common among refugees and asylum seekers to subscribe to the idea that Occidental welfare states owe us something. Also, sometimes people argue that the money of benefit come from the U.N. and then people dream and think that benefit won’t ever end. Any lie is fine provided it can secure benefit. And then all couple divorce and this way, ladies remain indefinitely on benefits… what system can work this way?
Rivers and seas,
Terrible mystery!
The earth, the wildlife, planet…
Terrible mystery!
Human beings and beasts,
Terrible mystery!
And everything
And all this harmony
What say Socrates, Aristotle, Einstein?
Rubbish!
I looked around,
I understood nothing!
I looked around,
And I know:
There is nothing to explain!
ONLY HIM KNOWS!
Do I need to speak
For you to love me?
The one who created love,
The one who created human beings
The sole who knows destiny!
And that is why,
Why my heart is beating
But I am waiting…
Only him knows!
Were there ladies on earth?
I was fetching and found none!
I looked around and saw none!
I was plotting silently
And time was going by…
I am still in search:
Where have gone all ladies?
SIGHING FOR THE PINK
We had not finished dreaming of the tender sex
Was it morning, on the train or…?
We were dreaming about anything
We were thinking of a great life
We were planning things
But,
The "pink thing" remained the champion…
And we suffered
And we sighed
And we lost…
O Beauties! O the tender stuff!
The shining of your hair,
The sparkling of your eyes,
I looked away and wanted to escape
But my mind has remained enslaved!
Beauty, yes, for real you are…
A WILD CROWD
Far away, from suffering soul, murmurs were heard:
It was a prayer for children.
Their bodies won’t ever have a coffin!
On the street, I saw burnt bodies
A wild crowd was celebrating…
Hello “Kinshasa la Poubelle” !
Death for Tutsi! Long life president!
Are we still there?
Blows were thrown,
Innocents were hurt…
No, there will be no mercy,
Survival is not guaranteed!
When in 1996, Tutsi fought back the attack of the killers who had chosen the DRC as a sanctuary with the benediction of France, Mobutu gave green light to hutu extremism. When in 1998 Kabila that Tutsi gave power in DRC tried to cheat those who took him to power, once more, those who fought for him had to die. It was the re edition of the 1994 Rwanda! Few lucky Congolese Tutsi were evacuated to USA in 2000...
No, I do not feel like working
Again and always pressure
No I do want to be an African laborer
Too much sweat but penniless
Can’t keep going
I need to breathe
I need to relax…
Rent, taxes, work, sufferings…
No, I need to escape these worries!
WHERE?
What was on my mind?
Money, health, love…
While I walked my way calmly
Pretending carelessness,
I was fulminating and was suffering!
Where was money?
Where were beauties?
And again, I was dreaming stupidly…
Tears of my soul,
Everything is rubbish!
She was my mother,
And them my brothers…
Some were killed
Others were knocked…
Did you talk about yours?
Inside me, deep troubles…
Yesterday a boy was victim of machetes…
Today an old women was burnt…
Shut your fuck, band of spittle!
Killing children and elders as it happens all the time in great lakes because only they belong to an ethnic group is out of human understanding. Calling these criminal a “band of spittle” is even weak! In Burundi in 1993, hundred of Tutsi kids were burnt to death by villagers because only of their ethnic group… for years the same thing has been going on hiding behind the fact that the army was essentially Tutsi. Killing may seem an anodine fact for hutus…
A DIFFICULT LESSON
I have learnt nothing from life
Every time I had to start over again.
Thousand times I got blows1
Was it so difficult the lesson?
So often I was stumbling,
There was to flatter,
There was to beg’
There was to hit and to charge,
There was to escape…
Also there was to restart over and over
But the lesson was too hard for me!
Tutsi and Hutu
Who is talking about democracy?
Rubbish!
Banning the term “Tutsi-Hutu”?
No one is stupid!
There have been thunders,
Women and children were victims
And still killers were thirsty for blood!
But the lesson never dies:
Hand in hand, one for one!
Talking about democracy or banning the term Tutsi-Hutu is a crazy thing. The interest of Tutsi can only be safeguarded by Tutsi. In politics, the share of responsibilities can not rest on statistic. “Hutu “as an entity stands face to “Tutsi” as an entity. One “whole” face to the other “whole” and so everyone interest will be safe!
THE BIBLE DISTORTED
The Bible did not protect our people,
They were blown away by Christians!
The Bible did not celebrate our deaths,
Instead it gave justification to killers!
The bible was blind
And shepherds distorted its content!
Who was still destroying the “Great Lakes”?
Hate sermon, injustice homily…
And the Bible was with criminal
And the Bible refused to hear about genocide
And the Bible refused to confess
And the Bible was laughing…
Behind church walls, more than one backed the killings in Rwanda. Later, the matter was not justice, but about forgiving the killers. So many debates about “death penalty” but the Koran is straight: you kill, you must die!. No such simple thing!. Killing while fighting in a war is different from killing unarmed old ladies and kids! The TPIR and the Rwandan justice have been a slap to Human right and to any belief… BRAVO to Belgian justice for its trial of Nuns!
The mirror was talking,
It was lying,
But I smiled, comforted…
Accomplice every time,
Interlocutor in all our worries,
It smiled and I was laughing;
It saddened and I was miserable…
And as I was going,
Nothing could hurt me…
The mirror had spoken
And no doubt could stick on my mind…
THEIR SCHOOL
Forget and forgive,
Have you been at their school?
Forgive the killer of your family
Forget the suffering of innocents,
That is the lesson we were taught!
And nobody still confessed!
Have they forgotten the scream of victims?
Please stop bleeding the wound!
What justice for what right?
Guillotine was still an option!
Would you, please,
Speak to the lady walking over there,
With that beauty of angel…
Would you tell that baby?
How sparkling she is
Would you say to that sunshine?
What a fire in me!
Would you say to that bird?
O what a panic in me!
A LONG DEBATE
How long was the debate?
Boring, agonizing, inexplicable…
Was it so difficult that word?
Democracy in East, in West…
Democracy to Christians, to Muslims…
Democracy to Australopithecus!
For what people were fighting?
O democracy! O fascination! O rubbish!
In Africa, the concept “Democracy” has brought more trouble than any other thing. And still more trouble are on the way. So big countries, so divided people for a compromise? Every time a fight can strike!
We survived, thanks
The useless life was terrible
Pennilessness and blows!
We stumbled, thanks, we resisted…
The waves were huge
The pocket were empty
The future, uncertain
And without love…
Will we ever pay back our debts?
Will we ever hit back?
O life! O dreams! O vanity!
PASSING BY
Life was passing by
It was just passing near by
I could feel its step
It was slow and majestic
Its shoes were shining
How beautiful it was to observe!
It was passing near by
And I watched it moving away
Immobile, I just stared.
What couldn’t I do to walk with it!
What couldn’t I do to smell its perfume!
But by my fault,
It just passed near by and walked away!
There was work
There was the train
There was the telly
And everyone cared about his belly…
There was the room,
There was the mirror,
There was the emptiness…
Love?
Fraternity?
Friendship?
AYE! All that was left in Africa!
How far was Africa!
THE PROSTITUTE AFRICA
I was dreaming of going
Where and when?
Africa was a prostitute
And children were wandering around the world…
Was it time to go back?
For who and why?
Misery, injustice, disorder…
Africa was in hand of criminals…
We will have to celebrate our deaths
Put flowers to their graves…
Will we smile to neighbors?
Aren’t they the one who killed?
Aren’t their newspapers that are still calling for murder/
Aren’t they….
Poor miserable!
KA WAS
Ka was a skinny guy
But KA had a big task
And hope was upon him
And questions requested his answer
And conflicts waited his decision…
Ka was staring at the horizon and was confident
But carrying, solving, believing…
The weight was too much for his shoulders!
Ka was a great guy
But often he forgot:
To the “Thousand Hills”, reason was a vain concept!
Kagame thought that he solved the Rwandan problem. No, he complicated everything. Sure he won wars but at which prices? The blood of Tutsi youngsters on every street across Africa. After these youngster lost their relative, what meant a victory? Kagame just forgot them and let them perish trying to secure the sleeping of those who killed their relatives. They got no time to build families and to become human beings… Banning the term “Tutsi-Hutu” or winning elections, that was not the problems of many…
We were talking about genocide
We were mourning our deaths
Was there anything to understand?
Thanks anyway
To those who fought in the army
To those who fought in procedures
To those who struggled in debates
Thanks for keeping the memory…
CHAT TO A BEAUTY
She was going out morning
She was out the day
She was not back at night.
Was it with the same guys?
She had gorgeous friends,
It was a parade of males,
Where was she going?
On a window two eyes were watching;
In a head, questions were boiling;
And everyday,
Beautiful she lived in his sight!
She was just there but,
What a price to chat to a beauty!
There was neither peace, harmony nor rest…
There were people
And you had to look around
There was the crowd
And you had to be careful
The West? Tired of immigrants…
Africa? No to foreigners…
Asia?
And everywhere
And every time
Who was the wolf?
Voila the man!
Voila the primitives!
And the world had not changed so much…
“NO”
Some had said “NO”,
The remainder said “NO”!
Yesterday, today,
Everywhere and every time
NO, NO, NO…
And beauties did not act differently:
“No” for some,
“No” for others
No, no, no…
For everything and for nothing
For ever, it was a “NO”…
There was to give
Also to backing;
There was to help
Also to give hand;
There was to sympathize
Also to solidarise;
But
In return, nothing!
Again there was to compromise
Again there was to flatter
But
In return, a slap, insult, spittle…
In return, bitterness, loneliness, regrets…
But
Nothing to expect really!
GOD’S NIGHTMARE
Dogs wanted to crush everything
Crows were happy with the spectacle
But former patients were fetching their nurse…
Were neighbours, her former patients?
And the nurse was running
And the nurse was hiding…
Widow, orphan and alone,
She was running mindless…
Around, everywhere were deaths
Around, killers were drunk and were laughing…
And these corpses
And this hutu achievement
Gave a nightmare to the almighty GOD…
The nurse Yolande Mukagasana, a survivor, saw her family killed and from her hiding she could see her former patients and neighbours searching for her… sometimes she has difficulty to imagine that the 1994 apocalypse happened. Even the Canadian general, DALLAIRE, still cannot forget! Only a Hutu can pretend that 1994 never happened. The few Hutu who killed, condemned to malediction whatever is HUTU for generations… It is a fact; there is no need to deny it…
About Great Lakes?
There was only malediction
There was only smell of death, hate and lies...
Your guest,
Isn’t he the one who killed children?
Isn’t he the one who smells blood?
Unfortunately,
His behaviour contaminated you
And your eyes are blind…
Did you know how many he killed?
You do not give a shit?
“The fire on your neighbour’s house…” is an African proverb!
When killers crossed into DRC and continued to kill Tutsi in Congo, Congolese did not care. They were laughing at Tutsi’s fate, they shared with all criminals and politics was influenced by these criminals. When the house of your neighbour is on fire, do not laugh because the fire may burn yours as well. Later on, Congolese will understand that, malediction had fallen to DRC with the arrival of these killers. And for Years, Congolese paid the price of composing with criminal. Five armies (Zimbabwe, Angola, Tchad, Namibia, DRC and the “FAR” army of defeated killers) could not win the small Rwanda and its few Tutsi. It is unbelievable that for years, Tutsi were not defeated…. The sole reason is the malediction of Hutu killers who had killed poor ladies and children but who could not stand an army despite the French and Zairian help….
BANTOUS
“Bantous” was assimilated
To barbarism, to lies, to genocide!
They wanted a morphological solidarity
And everything was confusion…
They talked about “BANTOUS”
They lied on the European concept “BANTOUS”…
And this way,
“Bantou” was a killer of children
“Bantou” was a rapist
“Bantou” was a plunderer
“Bantou” a ideologist of hate and lie…
“BANTOU” was synonym of “death to Tutsi”?
Bravo for the “Bantous”!
“Bantou” is only a western name for all those people of Central Africa who call human being “ muntu”. Giving it a morphological coloration and excluding Tutsi is just an aberration. But hatred philosophy can defend any thesis. Didn’t Hitler and the Nazis find a way of interpreting DARWIN? Tutsi are among the first inhabitant of the great lakes and Eastern Africa. Rwanda and Urundi were organized kingdom (since the Roma empire) before the white man and his 1885 division of Africa! All other people will join later for different reasons. Then Tutsi will start a of war of domination to restructure and organize the whole thing!
Some had families, money, love, values…
Others had nothing:
Worries, regret and culpability…
There were few dreamers:
They believed in homeland
They believed in religions
They fought for anything..
But me,
I was none of these!
PERHAPS
You will tell me
The name of your father, mother, brothers…
You will describe me
Where they lived
Also you will explain to me
What was their ideology…
Maybe,
Maybe,
Maybe…
Didn’t they kill their neighbours in Rwanda, Congo…
When you meet a Rwandan or Burundian, ask them who they are, eventually they will get upset and will lie. No one wants to be the parents of killers, it is a malediction for generations and generations…
Thanks for your lies
Thanks for your calls
Thanks for your stories
I feel and know
I see and understand
I dream and realise:
You do not love me…
But thanks for your lies…
THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT
The world had ignored our sufferings
Even our own people had hidden their eyes
And nothing was done…
They were talking about terrorism
They were talking about Nazism
They were talking about Jerusalem
They were talking about everything…
About Rwandan 1994 apocalypse,
Nothing ever comes
And
Already lies were distorting the fact…