Gestalt
Part 3
By Shaddyr


His mind tripped over that. The relationship game?

The close call had made them both a little punchy, and it was clear she hadn’t meant to say that – but there it hung, heavy in the air between them.

He saw her scrambling for a comment, anything to take it back – he raised two fingers and placed them across her lips.

“Too late Parker,” he said in a light tone. “It can’t be unsaid.”

She extricated her hand from his and pushed the fingers away. “You know I didn’t mean it like that Jarod,” she protested with the familiar edge of scorn he knew so well. But he watched her face and smiled at what he saw – once again, she couldn’t look him in the eye, and her cheeks were stained with a blush that was from more than just the cold.

He leaned in close and took her face firmly in his hands, giving her no choice but to look at him. “I think you did,” he began. “And you’re right. I don’t... but I’d be happy to learn.”

***

She was trapped by his eyes. Funny how something so simple as his gaze could keep her frozen to the spot, unable to move, unable to think, barely able to breath.  I knew I should have shot him when I had the chance.

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Let’s try this again shall we? The second attempt succeeded.

“Jarod. It was only a jest. You can’t seriously believe that a kiss and a few dances make a relationship.” Cocking her eyebrow at him, she continued in her most disdainful voice. “Over three years out in the big wide world and you’re still that naive? Very sad, Wonderboy.”

She watched him carefully as the elated smile slowly melted from his face. He let her go and turned from her, getting up from the chair and walking away. Inwardly she cringed, hating herself for deliberately hurting him. Since when do I care about the labrat’s feelings? came the pragmatic businesslike voice she had learned to trust in all of her dealing with Jarod.

Since he forced you to face the fact you have feelings for him – and that his matter to you, a quiet, less familiar voice popped up, but one she recognized nonetheless. It was the one she tried to stuff, the one that spoke with her mother in dreams, the one that had come out with Tommy - the same one in her daydreams about Jarod when she was young.

As if this thing with Jarod wasn’t enough, she was discovering what seemed to be a sub-personality within her own psyche. Where was Syd when she needed him? Parker sighed. Lovely evening this was turning out to be.  As she rubbed eyes, she became aware that he was standing beside her. She glanced up at him, expecting that he would make some scathing retort of his own, or that he would act as though nothing had transpired at all and simply inform her it was time to get moving. She was wrong.

Grasping her upper arm, he roughly pulled her to her feet.  Unbalanced, she almost fell, leaning against him for support. Indignant about the treatment, she took a breath in preparation for a biting remark. Her mouth snapped shut as she saw the look in his eye.

“We had an agreement, and you kept your part of the bargain,” he spoke harshly, an expression that evidenced both pain and anger on his face. “But it’s almost midnight. Once the new day begins, you’re no longer bound to it.” He let her go, then stalked away. A moment later he turned back to face her, and she could see the contempt in his actions as he tossed her gun and her cell phone on the floor in front of her.

“Well?” he inquired sarcastically when she made no move to pick them up, but rather continued to stare right back at him. “Aren’t you going to give Lyle a call and tell him where to find us? I didn’t even remove the clip from your gun. You’ve got me surrounded.”

Her eyes narrowed dangerously and her teeth clenched as she contemplated exactly how she was going to deal with this turn of events. Your actions said come here and then your mouth said go away - what did you expect? chided the quiet voice.  She ignored it and picked up the gun.

She could see Jarod tense, the muscles in his jaw rippling as he waited for her to turn it on him. With a smooth motion, she removed the clip and whipped it at him as hard as she could. His yelp of pain and surprise as it smacked into the center of his chest was gratifying. She followed up by throwing the gun at him as well, but he ducked out of the way. She was reaching for the cell phone when he grabbed it out of her hand. She straightened up to find him giving her an incredulous look.

“What are you doing?” he asked, unconsciously rubbing the spot where the clip had impacted his chest.

“Well,” she responded coolly, arms crossed as she gave him a piercing look, “I figured since you were having a temper tantrum, I might as well join you. Work off a little tension while I was at it – now, give me back the cell phone.”

“Are you going to throw it at me?” he asked warily.

She gave him the smile that wasn’t a smile. “You’ll just have to wait and see.” She held out one hand.  “Give.”

Tentatively, he handed it over, only to yelp again when it grazed his temple at a high rate of speed. Parker was looking around to see if there was anything else she could throw at him when he tackled her.

The resulting free-for-all would have been highly amusing had there been anyone there to observe. Parker discovered that Jarod knew a lot more about Aikido than she had realized, while at the same time educating him to the fact she was not above street fighting. He finally pinned her to the floor, holding both wrists above her head, straddling her torso, their faces inches apart.

He regarded her strangely. “Would you mind explaining this to me?” he asked through gritted teeth.

“Which part?” she snapped out, still wriggling under his grasp.

“The part where you don’t turn me in when you’re acting like you’d love nothing better than to kick my ass.”

“I *did* kick your ass.”

“I beg to differ,” he shot back with a tight grin. “Who’s on top?”

A sudden twist of her body unbalanced him, exactly as she was hoping. A quick jerk got one hand free and she used it to ram the heel of her hand straight into his chin, sending him flying, landing flat on his back beside her. In a sudden role reversal, it was her staring down at him, a knee in his chest while she held his wrists on either side of his head.

“Well...” she responded smugly, “that would be *me*.”

As she looked down on him, hair mused, a smear of blood on his face, white shirt torn and filthy, the anger that had filled her as they fought dissipated. Slowly, she climbed to her feet and moved away from him, ostensibly searching for her bag, but really just needing to get away from him.

He wanted an answer from her – as if she had any to give! She couldn’t even figure out her motivations. How could she offer him any explanation?

“Parker,” she heard him begin, but she held up a hand to quell him.

“Don’t Jarod... just don’t.”

Suddenly he was there, right behind her again, making her feel hemmed in, trapped. She whirled around, fire flashing in her eyes as she shoved him and sent him stumbling away. Before she had time to think, before she could censor herself, words started tumbling out.

“What do you want? Huh? What?” she circled on him, one hand gesturing, adding emphasis to her words.  “A little romance? A little nookie?” He was backing away under her glare, but she closed on him relentlessly. “It’s not enough that you have been messing with my head and my family ever since you got out, but now you have to start messing with my feelings?” Her voice, high pitched before, had taken on a shrill quality. “What the hell do you want from me? Protestations of undying love?”  Her eyes were locked with his, and once again, in spite of her fury, she felt herself becoming lost in those warm compassionate eyes that seemed to understand everything, from which she could keep no secrets.

The moment was interrupted by the sound of people shouting.

“Lyle,” Jarod said grimly, grabbing her hand and preparing to bolt.

She shook her head. “No, Jarod. Listen for a second. It’s not the sweepers.”

He paused for a moment, paying close attention to the voices that were clearly audible.  It sounded like people counting backwards.

She gave him a wry smile. “It’s just the New Year.”

They both became conscious that he was still holding her hand at about the same time. She tried to shake off his grasp, but he just pulled her hand in close to his chest, holding it between both of his before raising it to his lips and kissing her fingers.

“... 14, 13, 12...” came the voices from all around them as revelers stood in the streets and ally ways and roof tops all around the city, joining in a rare moment of unity.

“I didn’t plan this,” Jarod informed her, speaking slowly, deliberately, once again holding her captive in his gaze. “I didn’t know what was going to happen. But I don’t regret it.”

“...6, 5, 4...”

 He moved in close, using one hand to lift her chin, and she felt a tremor go right down to her toes at the intimacy in the simple caress as his thumb stroked her jaw line and his fingers buried themselves in the hair at the base of her neck.

“And all I have ever wanted from you – all I have ever wanted for you... is that you be happy.”

With the explosions of fireworks and the clanging of pots, pans and noisemakers going on all around them, Jarod kissed her.  Her arms found themselves wrapped around him, one hand behind his neck, fingers twining through the short dark hair, the other around his waist, slipped under his shirt, hand splayed against the bare flesh of his back.

His tongue played a game with hers, a tentative, mutual exploration, darting, dancing, playing. Even his kiss is a reflection of his personality she mused distractedly, and then she was too caught up in the sensations to think at all.

His free hand slipped under the bolero jacket beneath the suit coat he’d put around her shoulders. His fingers meandered down her back, drawing fanciful designs on the bare skin, raising goose bumps with his feather light touch. She emitted a soft groan and arched against him, tossing her head back in the process. He took that as an invitation, and lowered his mouth to her exposed throat, starting just below her left ear, working his way down the side of her neck till he reached the hollow of her shoulder. His tongue traced the outline, then described a slow lazy pattern of spirals back up to her ear, where he then nibbled gently on the lobe.

Her knees buckled and Jarod barely caught her before she hit the floor.  She looked up at him, dazed, and noted the concern in his face.

“Parker?” his voice was anxious. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing,” she replied in a singsong voice, giggles threatening to overwhelm her. With difficulty, she managed to stifle them before continuing.

 Let’s see, the clinical, detached voice in the back of her head catalogued, three double scotch on an empty stomach, several hours of dancing, a close call with Lyle and an evening that has run the gamut of emotions from anger and fear right through to passion and arousal. That would explain it.

This time a giggle did escape her lips. Jarod cocked an eyebrow at her, a lazy smile forming on his face.

“Part of it anyway,” he agreed, and suddenly she realized that she’d spoken aloud. She felt her face growing warm.

“Do you realize,” he asked, idly running a finger over her cheekbone, “what an amazing shade of pink you blush in?”

She turned away from his gaze, but he gently hooked a finger under her chin and pulled her face around to his again.

“Look Parker, I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I do know I can’t pretend that this didn’t, and I wouldn’t want to. I know you feel it too.” His intense gaze dared her to deny it. She couldn’t.

“I still have to go back Jarod, no matter what happened tonight,” she said regretfully, angry with herself for not being strong enough to walk away, angry with him for making her life even more difficult.

He sighed, dropping a kiss on her forehead. “You don’t have to stay there forever. I could help you get out, start a new life...”

“With you?” she shot him a challenging look.

“Would that really be so horrible?” he asked wistfully, brushing a stray lock of hair from her eyes.

She dropped her eyes and shook her head. “Jarod, don’t ask me to make this choice. I can’t. I still have things to learn about my mother and what happened to her. I have a responsibility to Syd and Broots. “ At his questioning look, she raised her chin in defiance. “Okay, Syd can fend for himself, but who else is going to keep that idiot safe from Lyle and company?” At his knowing smile she grumbled, “Well, Debbie needs her father alive and well.”

“What about you? What you want?” He voice became husky. “What you need? The secret longings that you have buried under the Centre’s cold, ruthless and efficient ‘Miss Parker’?”

She closed her eyes against the stab of pain that accompanied the unearthing of those hidden desires. Quite unexpectedly, she felt the prick of moisture well up in her eyes and trickle down, then the soft brush of his fingertips wiping it away.

“Those are the things that will get me killed,” she spoke hollowly, trying to figure out some way to bury it all again.  She sighed knowing it was hopeless. “In fact, I might already be dead. Could be that the bullet just hasn’t reached me yet.”

“Don’t talk like that,” he reprimanded her harshly, his vehemence surprising her. “Never talk like that.” He looked angry, shaken, scared – helpless. She knew it was not a feeling he enjoyed.

“You know I’m going to be at the Centre on Monday morning Jarod. I’m still going to be tracking you.”

“I know.”

It was an odd conversation to be having, wrapped in his embrace as she was.

“If I catch you, I will bring you in.”

She noticed him register her use of ‘if’ instead of ‘when’.

“You can’t catch me, Parker. In and of yourself you’ll never be able to.” She started to interrupt him, but he shook his head, babbling ... well, for Jarod it was babbling. “I’ll never be able to stop leaving you clues to chase... you’re my irresistible force. And I’m you’re immovable object.  When we are at odds, working against each other, all we can do is frustrate one another.  But together, we’d make an unstoppable team, and that - that is what they are afraid of.  The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.”

***

“Gestalt,” she commented thoughtfully.

“Exactly!” he replied, thinking of how earlier everything had fallen into place and all the component parts of this weird relationship they were in had solidified into something larger than he’d known was there. But he suddenly realized it wasn’t just her actions this evening – when they were working together, they were the gestalt.

Jarod gave her a wicked smile, full of mischief and promise. “You go back to the Centre and do what you need to do. But when you’re ready, I’ll be waiting.”

He saw she remained unconvinced. With a gentle laugh, he cupped her face in his hand. “You’ll come back to me, Parker. They threw us together as children hoping for just this result for their own gain, but it backfired. I escaped and you had a mind of your own. And now, when we’ve finally come to the place where the feelings we’ve held for each other so long have surfaced, the last thing either one of us wants is to spend the rest of our lives doing the Centre’s bidding.”

“I think you’re going to be waiting a while Jarod,” she warned. He could see that she was, at least, considering what he’d said, even though she appeared skeptical.

“As long as it takes,” he assured her.  Jarod saw her close her eyes briefly, and he suddenly felt an urge to ease the tension she was feeling.  Smiling, he ran his hand gently against her cheek again.

“Who knows? Maybe I’ll be catching you instead,” he said, and she appreciated his attempt to lighten the mood.

She gave him a look of mock severity. “Don’t you dare leave me locked up with Lyle again, or I’ll have to hurt you.”

He gave her the patented smug grin. “You’ll have to catch me first.”

“Hmm.” She cocked her head to the side. “But you said I couldn't catch you.”

“Maybe you just need to use the right bait,” he murmured, before lowering his lips to hers once more.

She had just enough time to realize that there would be hell to pay before this was over before she lost herself in his kiss. After a few seconds, he pulled away.

“Oh, and one more thing...” he added as an afterthought.

“Yes?”

As his lips closed on hers again, he murmured, “Happy New Year Miss Parker.”